totally random garbage

Friday, May 1, 2026

(Semi) Famous Andersons

It’s a pretty common name, you can take it from me. It used to be in the top 10 (number 9, if I remember correctly), but a recent influx of Rodriguezes, Martinezes, et al. have crowded it out.

At the same time, though, there simply are no famous Andersons. No presidents or vice presidents. No Nobel Prize winners. No major business types. No great sports figures.

How obscure are they? Well, a search of the Interwebs gives me only about 15 I’ve ever heard of. Here they are, in increasing order of “fame”:

Louie Anderson – fat, baby-faced comedic has-been

Bill Anderson – C&W singer from way back when country wasn’t cool

Yes, Bil is a guy

Gary Anderson – chubby South African football player (if you can call a placekicker a football player)

John Anderson – obscure 3^rd party presidential candidate from 50 years ago

With charming wife Keke

Pamela Anderson – blonde bimbo with sex tape history

With fellow sex-tape star, ex Tommy Lee

Loni Anderson – blonde bimbo who married male bimbo Burt Reynolds

Gillian Anderson – WASPy actress famous for a TV show that combined the paranormal with “the domestic intelligence and security service of the United States”

Laurie Anderson – avant-garde musical & artistic weirdo

Ian Anderson – balding flutist (yes, flutist!) for the obscure & strangely-named band Jethro Tull

Paul Thomas Anderson – director of a bunch of movies I’ve never seen

Sparky Anderson – baseball manager & Hall of Famer who was once confused with my dad

Marian Anderson – African-American signer who was once confused with my mom (Marion Anderson)

Wes Anderson – director of a bunch of movies I’ve seen, but that didn’t make much sense

Sherwood Anderson – author of Winesburg, Ohio, which everyone had to read in high school

Sunday, April 26, 2026

2026 NFL Draft Funny Names

Well, it’s that time of the year again. Time for the NFL draft!

And what we all know what that means, right? Yup, lotsa weird names.

So, here we go! Twenty-four, thirty-six, hike!

Jackson Kuwatch

Carolina, LB, Miami (OH), #227
Fun fact: Originally a walk-on with Ohio State, where he did not play a game in 2 years

Carnell Tate

Tennessee, WR, Ohio State, #4
Fun fact: Had 37 scholarship offers in high school

Ar’maj Reed-Adams

Buffalo, G, Texas A&M, #241
Fun fact: Spell check wants me to change his first name to Aroma

Da’Zhaun Stribling

SF, WR, Ole Miss, #33
Fun fact: Full name is Da'Zhaun-Ryan Demetrios Stribling

Toriano Pride, Jr.

Buffalo, CB, Missou, #220
Fun fact: Parks, Recreation, Sport & Tourism major

Quintayvious Hutchins

NE, DE, Boston College, #247
Fun fact: Known as “Q”

Bauer Sharp

TB, TE, LSU, #185
Fun fact: Originally a QB at Southeastern Louisiana

Trey Smack

K, GB, Florida, #216
Fun fact: Actually, James Smack III

Cade Klubnik

NYJ, QB, Clemson, #110
Fun fact: Completed a “microinternship” with First Rate Exchange Services in London

Wade Woodaz

Houston, LB, Clemson, #123
Fun fact: Spell check wants me to change last name to Woodrat

Oscar Delp

NO, TE, Georgia, #73
Fun fact: Brother Harry also played at Georgia

Treydan Stukes

LV, DB, Arizona, #38
Fun fact: Weighed 150 lbs as HS senior

Gennings Dunker

Pittsburgh, T, Iowa, #96
Fun fact: “Described by his teammates as a Paul Bunyan-like folk hero” (The Beast)

DeMonte Capeheart

TB, DT, Clemson, #155
Fun fact: “Rarely gets to a workable counter off his bull rush [whatever that means]” (nfl.com)

Hezekiah Masses

LV, CB, Cal, #175
Fun fact: Goes by “Zeke”

Dametrious Crownover

NE, T, Texas A&M, #196
Fun fact: Committed to Texas A&M as a tight end

Domonique Orange

Minnesota, NT, Iowa State, #82
Fun fact: Nickname is “Big Citrus”

Olaivavega Ioane

Baltimore, G, Penn State, #14
Fun fact: From American Samoa; goes by Vega

Febechi Nwaiwu

Houston, G, Oklahoma, #106
Fun fact: Previously a walk-in at North Texas State; last name is pronounced “WEE-woo”

Ephesians Prysock

SF, CB, Washington State, #139
Fun fact: “Will also have issues idling down when he gets going vertically to come back downhill [whatever that means]“ (espn.com)

Monday, April 13, 2026

Marilyn Monroe & Family

Just finished The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe, by Randy Tomborelli. Great book!

Interestingly, it focuses a lot on Marilyn’s female blood relatives:

Her mother, Gladys Baker
Her half-sister, Berniece Miracle
Her niece, Mona Rae Miracle

Now, Marilyn Monroe is arguably the most beautiful woman ever. If nothing else, she’s definitely the most photogenic. What comes as something of a surprise, though, is how attractive her relatives were as well.

Unfortunately, Marilyn was also a mess. She was addicted to drugs, had manic-depressive episodes, heard voices & was hospitalized for mental health issues. Turns out her mother was even worse. Luckily, Berniece and Mona Rae were spared.

Gladys

Gladys Pearl Monroe was born in Mexico, where her father was painting rail cars. He was an alcoholic and would be institutionalized with (and later die from) neurosyphilis. Her mother, who would later become schizophrenic, would marry 2 more times, both to alcoholics.

Gladys herself was married 3 times, the first at age 14. That marriage, to Jasper Baker, produced 2 children, Berniece (see below) & Robert (disabled after falling out of a car, he died at 15). Baker, another alcoholic, kidnapped the 2 children and moved to Kentucky.

Gladys married 2 more times, but without producing any more children. She did, however, have an illegitimate child, Marylin, with her boss, Charles Stanley Gifford. She was working at the time as a film cutter, in Hollywood.

With mental struggles of her own, Gladys was unable to care for Marilyn (born Norma Jean) and put her up for foster care & adoption. Indeed, Gladys, a paranoid schizophrenic, would spend almost the next 30 years in mental institutions.

Berniece

Berniece grew up in Kentucky. She married at age 19, to the interestingly named Paris Miracle. They would remain married until his death in 1990. Their union would produce one child, Mona Rae (see below).

Gladys told Berniece of Marilyn’s existence only when she became pregnant with Mona Rae. The two half-sisters met in 1944, visited each other over the years, and kept up a steady correspondence.

With her daughter, Berniece would author a book about the two half-sisters’ relationship, called My Sister Marilyn. Otherwise, Berniece largely avoided the spotlight, and worked in various occupations as she and her family moved around the southeast. She passed away in 2014, at the age of 94.

Mona Rae

Mona Rae was born in 1939, in Kentucky. She has a bachelor’s and master’s, and has worked in communications, training, library science & teaching. She is also a published writer and poet.

Mona married one William Joseph Booth. It doesn't appear that they had any children.

Francine

Marilyn’s father had 2 children other than Marilyn. One, Charles Gifford Jr., would go on to have a couple of daughters.

I could find information only on one, Francine. A mother of 4, she also owns an insurance agency. She’s the one who provided DNA that confirmed that her grandfather was Marilyn’s father. She disingenuously states, “I don’t have delusions that Marilyn and I look similar, but we both have big feet.”

Wednesday, April 8, 2026

Yumpin’ Yiminy! – Latino Baseball Players & the Letter Y

The wife and myself were watching some baseball the other night, and were struck by some of the players’ names. In particular, it was the Latino players whose first names began with Y – in this instance, Yordan Alvarez and Yainer Diaz (of the Astros). We then tried to see how many others we could come up with – Yadier Molina, Yonder Alonso, Yoenis Cespedes …

It really got me wondering … What’s behind all this? My thought was that it might be a replacement for the letter J. Now, in Spanish, that letter is typically pronounced “h.” What, though, if Spanish speakers wanted something closer to an English J sound?

Since that is simply not a sound in Spanish, maybe the closest they could get would be a Y sound – like in German or Dutch. There’s also something similar going on in Hebrew and Arabic – Yusef for Joseph, Yonathan instead of Jonathan, Yakob for Jacob …

A final consideration might be the prevalence of Russian names beginning with Y – Yuri, Yevgeny, Yefim … Now, that would definitely be a consideration in Cuba, but it might also have some effect in nearby places like, say, Puerto Rico.

NOTE: Since these names are so weird, SpellCheck wants to immediately correct me. I've throw in some of those corrections when they seemed particularly odd.

I Kinda Get It

Now, these ones seem to support my theory. Like the name Jordan? Well, Yordan’s not that far off. Partial to Giovanni (another English J sound)? How about Yovani? Not bad.

Yordan Alvarez
Yordano Ventura (Yordanov)

Yovani Gallardo
Yovanny Lara
Yohan Pino / Yohan Flande

It’s Not Working Here Though

That same idea isn’t going to work with every name however. Like the name Jack? Well, you certainly don’t want to name your child after a musk ox now, do you?