Funny Names from the 2026 MLB Draft

What an embarrassment of riches – the NHL draft, the World Cup, Wimbledon, and now the MLB draft.

Ryan Niedzwiedz - #434, Rockies, SIU, 1B

• Spell check suggests "Netwide"
• School’s all-time HR leader, with 46

Hideki Prather - #497, Twins, Cal, C

• Nomo namesake?
• ACC Academic Honor Roll

Bane Barker – #355, Marlins, HS (Jacksonville), P

• Bane: n., "a person or thing that causes misery, distress, ruin, or death (e.g., the 'bane of my existence')"
• 6’8”

Jackson Flora - #4, Giants, UCSB, P

• Not to be confused with Jaxon Fauna
• Won the National Pitcher of the Year Award

Connor Comeau - #54, Rangers, HS (Texas), 3B

• Alliteration for the win
• Half-Canadian

Zach Crotchfelt - #420, Mets, Troy, P

• Name comes from old-timey words for “fork” (as in a river or a road) and “field”
• Has played college ball for Auburn, Texas Tech & Troy

Brendan Brock - #99, Yankees, Oklahoma, C

• Awesome alliteration
• Criminal justice major

Clayton Freshcorn - #564, Cards, Texas A&M, P

• Sounds like a farm stand
• 9.33 strikeout-to-walk ratio in 2026

Crew McChesney - #495, White Sox, BYU, OF

• Here's hoping his nickname is "Cut"
• 2 brothers played Div I football

Here's hoping that pic was taken when he was 13

Dustin Dunwoody - #456, Tigers, HS (California), P

• Astounding alliteration
• 0.22 ERA with 115 K in 64 IP in 2006

Damarcus Rideout-Carter - #408, Pirates, HS (Canada), P

• Rideout is from "outrider," an "officer of a sheriff's court or monastery responsible for riding out to collect dues, supervise manors, and enforce orders" [familysearch.com]
• Just turned 18

Tazwell Butler - #301, Astros, KSU, P

• Goes by “Taz," though "Tazmanian Devil" would be even better
• Has not gotten a hit in 54 career at bats

Parker Dillhoff - #543, Guardians, UNLV, P

• Dilbert character?
• Grandfather played for the Green Bay Packers

Cashel Dugger - #256, Nats, UCLA, C

• Spell check wants "Digger" or "Dagger"
• “Left-handed hitter with an even base and hand set, late scap load with present hand speed” [perfectgame.com]

Maddox Molony - #187, Tigers, Oregon, SS

• Can't get enough of that alliteration
• High school valedictorian

Declan Dahl - #158, Tigers, Lou Tech, P

• Ditto
• Not to be confused with the wrestler of the same name

Savion Sims - #213, Guardians, HS (Louisiana), P

• Ditto ditto
• Has hit 100 on the radar gun

Selden Kolkebeck - #567, Rangers, HS (NJ), P

• Spell check wants "Kleeck" (?!?!)
• Commit to Columbia

Sawyer Strosnider - #66, Brewers, TCU, OF

• Weird last name, meet weird first name
• Led nation in triples as a freshman

Camden Wimbish - #523, Dodgers, Campbell, P

• Honestly, what's wrong with Jim?
• From the town of Locust (NC)

Banks Wickersham - #419, Royals, HS (SC), C

• "Translates roughly to the 'bushy copse of a man called Wine'" [myheritage.com] 
• “Sets up in a spread stance with a hanging inward timer” [perfectgame.com]

Kole Klecker - #287, Twins, Ariz State, C

• Alright, that's enough alliteration
• Freshman All-American 

Gavin Van Kempen - #373, Dodgers, ECU, P

• Positively patrician
• 6’7”

Drew Titsworth - #339, Phillies, Clemson, P

• I think the Phils are gonna sell a lot of this guy's jerseys
• Brother Parker plays D1 football

Ryder Helfrick - #15, D-backs, Arkansas, C

• Guess his parents were into rental trucks
• All-American

Ruger Riojas - #100, Phillies, Texas, P

• No truth to the rumor that he has an older brother named Glock
• An older prospect at age 23

Gabe Gaeckle - #73, A’s, Arkansas, P

• Enough with the alliteration already
• Had Tommy John surgery at age 15

Cameron Flukey - #22, Tigers, Coastal Carolina, P

• Spell check wants "Flunkey"
• Highest ever pick from CCU

Coleman Borthwick - #21, Padres, HS (San Diego), P

• British character actor from the 1930s?
• 6’6”, 245 lbs.

Roch Cholowsky - #1, White Sox, UCLA, SS

• Spell check suggests "Roach" (and just gives up on Cholowsky)
• Baseball America College Player of the Year for 2025

Caden Bogenpohl - #64, Phillies, Missouri State, OF

• How much bogen would a bogenpohl pohl, if a bogenpohl could pohl bogens?
• Formerly a Cotuit Kettleer

Bayram Hot - #33, Yankees, Louisville, SS

• "If you are looking for what makes a surname 'hot' in terms of current naming trends, short, one-syllable surnames (like Holt or Penn) and names ending in '-s' (like Hayes or Brooks) are currently the most popular" [geneanet.com]
• NYC native

Wimbledon Funny Names

Well, Wimbledon’s come and gone. Congrats to Yannick and Linda (who?).

Hard to believe, but I didn’t catch a match. I blame the World Cup. Indeed, all my sports fanning just comes to a halt when the FWC is going on.

That said, I definietly had time to do some more funny names.

 

Gentlemen

• Alexander Blockx (BEL) – just fine except for that “x"
  
  
  
  
  
• Vit Kopriva (CZE) – broke into top 100 in April
  
  
  
  
  
• Karen Khachanov – ladies’ dressing room is that way
• Kamil Majchrzak (POL) – I’d like to buy a vowel … er, several vowels
  
  
  
  
  
• Sho Shimabukuro (JAP) – currently Japan’s #1 player
• Learner Tien (USA) – “I am still earning.” (Michelangelo)
• Thanasi Kokkinakis (AUS) – by way of Greece, I would imagine
  
  
  
  
  
• Dalibor Svrcina (CZE) – spell check suggests “Sarcoma”
• Borna Gojo (CRO) – 6’5”
• Tallon Griekspoor (NED) – spell check likes “Greensboro”
  
  
  
  
  
• Yunchaokete Bu (CHI) – spell check suggests “Inchoate”
• Rinky Hijikata (AUS) – I’m sorry, did you mean Ricky?
• Zizou Bergs (BEL) – named after French soccer player Zinadine Zidane
  
  
  
  
  
• Botic van de Zandschulp (NED) – spell check wants “Biotic van de Bandshell”

 

Ladies

• Polina Kudermetova (UZB) – mom was top 10 player
  
  
  
  
  
• Anastasia Gasanova – surely, you mean “Kasanova”
  
  
  
  
  
• Maya Joint (AUS) – born in Michigan to Australian father & German mother
• Coco Gauff (USA) – I’m coocoo for Coco Gauff
  
  
  
  
  
• Iga Swiatek (POL) – currently #3
• Panna Udvardy (HUN) – lives in Miami
• Lanlana Tararudee (THA) – spell check suggests “Lantana Tirade”
  
  
  
  
  
• Leolia Jeanjean (FRA) – just in case one “jean” wasn’t enough
• Yuliia Starodubtseva (UKR) – played college tennis at Old Dominion
• Mananchaya Sawangkaew (THA) – spell check likes “Swankier”
  
  
  
  
  
• Aoi Ito (JAP) – short & sweet
• Zeynep Sonmez (TUR) – 2^nd Turkish woman to break top 100, after Çağla Büyükakçay
  
  
• 
  
  

 

 

Weirdest Licence Plates

Last week, I mentioned that there are plenty of specialty license plates out there. Here are some of the oddest.

Vermont – Highway Engineering Exchange Program Conference

Zzzz …

Florida – Bonefish & Tarpon Trust

The organization I can understand. That super-scary eye not so much.

Illinois – Ulysses S. Grant

Ten of them? Really?

Texas – Michigan State University

There are plenty of these out there, usually for in-state schools or those in neighboring states. There’s at least 1,000 miles between these two however.

Idaho – Pearl Harbor Survivor

A surprising number of states have these, but seeing as there are only 11 survivors left …

California – Press Photographer / New York - Chiropractor

“I’ll take Obscure Professions for $100, Alex.”

Wisconsin – Hobbyist

Of what, they don’t say

New York – American Bowling Conference / Virginia - Bowler

Pennsylvania – Square & Round Dancers / South Carolina – State Dance (The Shag)

I have to admit, I have no idea what “round dancing” is, though it does seem like Pennsylvania’s got all their bases covered. Also, be careful who you ask, “Do you want to shag?”

Texas – Disaster

Louisiana – Save the Tchefuncte Lighthouse / Virginia – Supporter of Greyhound Adoption

“I’ll take Super Obscure Causes for $200, Alex.”

Montana – Weed Control Association

Guess weeds are a real problem in Montana if they’ve got their own association … and license plate

Connecticut – Governor’s Footguard First Company

You got me

Nebraska – My Czech Home / Ohio – Eastern Europeans of Ohio

Iowa – Wartburg College / North Dakota – University of Mary / Ohio – Sant Albert the Great

As mentioned before, there are tons of alumni plates out there. These, though, might be the most obscure. 

North Carolina – Watermelon

Mmm …

Mississippi – Professional Hair Designer

You mean “barber”?

Illinois – Superman

Bet you didn’t know Superman was created by two teenagers in Cleveland, did ya, huh?

Texas – Bait / Bay / Gulf Shrimp

“You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sauté it. There's uh, shrimp kebabs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.”

South Carolina – Tree My Dog

Huh?

Nevada – Hot August Nights

Hey, Neil Diamond’s from Brooklyn

Arizona – Alice Cooper

Alice Cooper is, though, from Phoenix

US License Plates – Best & Worst

My wife and I live in North Carolina but have a summer home in New Hampshire. So, twice yearly, we make a pilgrimmage from one to the other.

It’s a pretty, but rather boring ride. So, one thing we like to do to make it a little more interesting is to see how many different state license plates we can spot. We’ve never quite reached forty.

One thing this game has helped me develop is an appreciation for the different plate designs out there. So, what I thought I’d do is call out some of my faves – and least faves – for all 50 states.

Now, I must admit, this is not as easy as it sounds. There are so many different designs out there now. To narrow it down a little, I looked only at the current design, at least according to worldlicenseplates.com.

The bad ones are, of course, the most fun. So, let’s start with those.

Most Disappointing – Wyoming

Wyoming has two absolutely killer state symbols. The first is the cowboy on a bucking bronco. It dates back to1918, has been used on the license plate since 1936, and is featured by the Univ. of Wyoming as well.

The second is the outline of a bison, which features prominently on their state flag:

Of course, the current license plate is simply trying to use both. In theory, it’s not a bad idea. In practice, though, it’s just too much, and is simply trying too hard. One or the other would have been fine.

Compounding the issue is how they’ve rendered the bison. Once again, the grey on black is a legitimate attempt to create a background. To me, though, it just muddies the whole thing up.

Just stick with the cowboy, Wyoming.

Chattiest – Washington DC

I get it. There are almost 700,000 people in DC, none of whom get a vote in the US Congress. Wyoming and Vermont both have fewer people, but get 4 senators and 2 representatives between them. It just ain’t right.

That said, this is almost 40 letters. It’s a short novel! Interestingly, it was once a little shorter.

I guess some genius thought that this could have been misconstrued as being in favor of taxation without representation.

Before they got all political, DC had previous mottos with innocuous things like “Celebrate and Discover,” “A Capital City,” and “Nation’s Capital.” If they can’t come up with something a little more punchy for their current motto, I suggest going back to one of these.

The rest of the design is nice and clean. I also like the little symbol in the middle. It’s from the flag, which is in turn from the coat of arms of George Washington.

I’m sure George agrees with the sentiment. I can’t imagine even he, though, would approve of the prolixity.

Oddest Motto – Idaho

Just think if other states had gone with this theme. For Georgia, perhaps, you’d have “Famous Peaches.” For Maryland, “Famous Crabs.” Maine? How about “Famous Lobstahs”?

Idaho does, in fact, grow a lot of potatoes. They’re number one in the country, and produce about 140M hundredweight per year. According to Google, the state has “perfect growing conditions: mineral-rich volcanic soil, pure mountain-fed water, and a high-desert climate with warm, sunny days and cool nights.”

I kind of like the rest of the design though. It’s a landscape (as are many these days), but done in a nice, subtle way. I also like the red, white, and blue combo. I’m not sure what other states do that.

That design goes all the way back to 1991. Before that, it was pretty much just “Famous Potatoes.”

Most Obscure

What the heck is it? Is that a lightning bolt over there on the left? Maybe a farm right under it? Some clouds? I tell ya, ya got me.

The light grey on white isn’t helping here. You’re gonna need a little more color contrast to pick this all out. But that would probably make the actual license plate number a challenge to read. Perhaps if the background just wasn’t so complex.

Leaving aside what exactly is going on here, the plate is actually very elegant. It certainly beats previous efforts, which range from way too basic:

To positively garish:

So, what the heck is that thing anyway? It’s actually supposed to represent the “Genius of Creative Energy,” from the State Capitol building.

Now, all by itself, that is kinda cool (though a tad obscure). As a background for a license plate? Not so much. Hey, how about some corn?

Busiest - Illinois 

Well, at least I can make out what’s what here. Let’s see … Looks like we’ve got Lincoln, and the state capitol, and the Chicago skyline. Is that a farm in the middle? And do I spot a kitchen sink?

Seeing as we’ve already got Lincoln in the motto, perhaps we could nix ol’ Honest Abe from the design. That still leaves us with an imaginary skyline that features 2 cities and rural farmland as well.

An older design, though with its own issues, at least kept it to just Abe.

Most Boring – Delaware

There was a time when every license plate looked like this.

Most states, however, moved on. Not Delaware though. Yup, things are a little slow in the ol’ First State.

Now, would you believe Delaware offers their drivers an even more boring alternative? Yup, this one is made of porcelain or stainless steel and replicates a design from 1942.

Ever wonder why Delaware’s the ”first state”? Simple – it was the first state to ratify the Constitution.

So, whence all the bad? Well, a lot of these are designed by committee – in particular, by a committee of politicians. So, no graphic design skills required. Instead, substitute special interests, an inability to make decisions, no decisive leadership, and trying to make everyone happy. Et voila!

That said, there is still some hope. Let’s take a look at the best the country has to offer.

 

Nicest Lettering - California 

Typography tends to play next to no role in license plate design. If you can get some state to consider a serif font and mixed case, you’re really on the cutting edge. Throw in some italics, and you’re definitely blowing some minds out there.

And then along comes California. First, the design is pretty much all about the typography. There’s no state symbols – no peaches, no oranges, no Lincolns, no bison, no skylines, no scenic vistas …

Second, the typography conveys an incredible amount. Just based on the typography alone, the Golden State appears to be a fun, informal, modern, and exciting place.

Oddly, the type face is actually called “Rage Italic.” Not sure where that came from.

Interestingly, two states have also attempted something similar. One, though, is totally lost in the busy background:

The other seems to be almost an exact copy of California’s, but utterly fails in saying anything about the state.

Prettiest - Mississippi

Speaking of typography …  That “Mississippi” at the top is certainly unique, and very decorative to boot. Would you believe, though, that it’s been around since 1981?

Add that to the very nice magnolia blossom in the middle, and you have a design that’s rather elegant, almost feminine. Interestingly, that blossom has been around even longer, dating back to 1977. Those previous designs, though, were rather weak:

Most Classic - Wyoming

It’s a pretty basic idea. Is your state long and narrow? Well, why not incorporate it in what is basically the long and narrow shape of a license plate? Tennessee, Nebraska, and Kansas have all done something similar.

Montana, though, actually started doing this all the way back in 1933:

Now, that simple, basic idea did get a little obscured over the years:

The only beef I have with the current plate is the motto. Who ever heard of that? “Big Sky Country” is much more well known, and fitting.

Coolest - South Dakota

Yeah, I’ve already dinged this one, for the state name being very hard to pick out. That said, maybe Mt. Rushmore is enough to let you know. Perhaps if they got rid of the motto and made the state name a little bigger …  It’s actually pretty lame (“Great Faces, Great Places”), so why not?

Also, this design is so distinctive, it’s really hard to take away from the overall effect. I don’t think any other state even tried something like this. Everything else is just simple illustrations, at best.

In fact, I’m not sure there are any other state icons that would lend themselves so well to this approach. Remember, it’s gonna have to be horizontal, simple, and iconic.

By the way, it was a long and winding road to get here. Previous attempts were no way near as successful:

Next week - strange specialty plates