Just this week, Rep. Madison Cawthorn claimed that his House colleagues were inviting him to orgies and doing cocaine in front of him. Well, that certainly got social media talking – and speculating about who that might be.
Since we can’t imagine any Democrats associating with him, it sounds like he must be throwing his Republican colleagues under the (party) bus. Who, though, might those colleagues be exactly?
Well, here are my guesses, in reverse order of likelihood. I’m also including any interesting tidbits I could find about them, with an emphasis on scandals and craziness.
I tell ya - these people are hot, hot, hot!
#25 - Rep Don Young, AK
- Passed away in March, and has yet to be replaced
- Had been in office for 49 years
- Did not do town halls
- Part of a probe about corruption in Alaska (though never charged)
- Investigated by the House Ethics Committee for illegal gifts (ditto)
- Shared an 18-inch walrus’s penis bone on the floor of the House
- Once pinned John Boehner to a wall with a 10-inch knife
#24 - Rep Ron Wright, TX
- Wrote op-eds recommending public executions & display of the corpses
- Died of Covid earlier this year, and was replaced by Jake Ellzey
- COMMENT - Nothing says "sex machine" like a bow tie
#23 - Rep John Rose, TN
- Called two colleagues “undeserving bimbos in tennis shoes,” celebrated the death of another & bashed gays
- Based on some of these comments, Intel & UnitedHealth Group have asked for their contributions back
- Office mailing scandal
- Recently passed away, and has not yet been replaced
- Wife is running for his seat, but resigned from her position as head of the Minnesota GOP because of a toxic work environment & ties to sex trafficker Anton Lazzaro
#21 - Rep Louie Gohmert, TX
- Refuses to hold town hall meetings
- Compared Barack Obama to Hitler, claimed he was in league with the Muslim Brotherhood & accused him of spreading Ebola
- Claimed that ISIS was at the US/Mexico border, the Flood was caused by gay marriage & the Charlottesville riots were a false flag operation
- Wanted martial law declared at the US/Mexico border & Jerry Brown tried for treason
- Once screamed at Eric Holder in a hearing to “not cast aspersions on the asparagus”
- Has been called “America’s craziest and dumbest” congressman by the Lincoln Project
#20 - Rep Troy Nehls, TX
Fired from a police department for 20 violations, including destroying evidence, making improper arrests & being AWOL on duty
#19 - Rep Greg Steube, FL
Has sponsored bills to allow travelers to bring guns into airports
#18 - Rep Clay Higgins, LA
- Resigned from Opelousas PD before he could be disciplined for police brutality
- Resigned from another PD after getting dinged for aggressive questioning, insubordination, and misusing his uniform & badge for personal gain
- Has had several Facebook posts taken down for inciting violence
- Has been married four times & sued for $140,000 in unpaid child support
- Sleeps in his office
#17 - Rep Dan Crenshaw, TX
- Born in Scotland
- Speaks Spanish
- Lost his eye in Afghanistan
- Served as a Navy SEAL
- Told the Jan. 6 insurrectionists to “Stop this bullshit right now"
#16 - Rep Scott DesJarlais, TN
- Former general practitioner
- Pressured a former mistress to get an abortion
- Divorce docs accused him of “dry firing a gun outside [his ex’s] locked bedroom door, admission of suicidal ideation, holding a gun in his mouth for three hours, an incident of physical intimidation at the hospital; and previous threatening behavior … i.e. shoving, tripping, pushing down, etc.”
- Also cheated on his ex with at least 6 other women, including colleagues, pharma reps & patients
- Named the “Biggest Hypocrite in Congress” by POLITICO
- Nominated Trump for a Nobel prize
#15 - Rep Jerry Carl, AL
#14 - Dusty Johnson, SD
- Received money from sex trafficker Anton Lazzaro
- Called a “GOP Socialist” by a local media outlet
#13 - Rep Steve Chabot, OH
- Advocates teaching Intelligent Design in schools
- Has ordered police to seize recording devices at his town halls
- Had a campaign manager sentenced to federal prison for embezzlement
#12 - Rep Ron Estes, KS
- Took over for Mike Pompeo
- Beat another Ron Estes in the Republican primary
#11 - Rep Tom Cole, OK
- Member of the Chickasaw Nation
- Has a PhD & taught at the University of Oklahoma
#10 - Rep Glenn Thompson, PA
- Firefighter
- Sponsored a resolution to name a particular week in 2019 as "BatWeek"
#9 - Rep Hal Rogers, KY
- Has been called “The Prince of Pork”
- Named by Rolling Stone as one of the “Ten Worst Congressmen”
- Called a “national disgrace” by the National Review & a “congressional disgrace” by CBS News
- Told the chair of the Congressional Black Caucus to “kiss my ass”
- Fined $5,000 by the House Ethics Committee for security violations
#8 - Sen Mitch McConnel, KY
Way too much to include here
#7 - Rep Mariannette Miller-Meeks, IA
- Former ophthalmologist
- Fined for refusing to wear a mask on the House floor
- Retweeted – in all seriousness – a fake news article from the satirical news website delawareohionews.com
- Target of a House complaint about not fully disclosing her finances
#6 - Rep Billy Long, MO
- Former auctioneer & World Poker Tour player
- Shared a tweet that compared Brett Kavanaugh’s sexual misconduct to a “kiss on the forehead”
- Called YouTube “un-American” for deleting one of his campaign ads
#5 - Rep H Morgan Griffith, VA
COMMENT: Must be the lighting on this one
#4 - Rep John Curtis, UT
Considered something of a RINO
#3 - Rep Trent Kelly, MS
Was actually the target of the shooter who struck Steve Scalise
#2 - Rep Scott Fitzgerald, WI
- Did not write The Great Gatsby
- Is not related to Dick Cheney
#1 - Rep Virginia Foxx, SC
- Nicknamed “Hide your biscuits,” from her propensity to fill her coat with buffet treats
- One of only 11 members of congress who voted against Hurricane Katrina relief
- Lies include that the Matthew Shepard murder was a robbery, Republicans passed the Civil Rights Act & crazed shooter Jared Loughner was a communist
- Nominated Trump for a Nobel prize
- COMMENT - "Crazy like a fox" doesn't even begin to describe it
