Tuesday, October 18, 2022

Alternate Titles for Literary Masterworks

Boy, authors sure do like to come up with fancy titles. The Way of All Flesh? A Dance to the Music of Time? A Remembrance of Things Past?  I guess we can blame Shakespeare, Milton & the Bible for these, but still …

I translated some of these into something a little more vernacular. See if you can guess the original:

1. A Century Alone
2. Abbatoir #5
3. Almost Heaven
4. Angry Raisins
5. The Big Red A
6. The Bloody Headband
7. Blown Away
8. Buncha Idiots
9. Bye Bye Guns
10. Car-Bound

11. Conflict and the Lack Thereof
12. Dads and Grads
13. Entropy
14. Festival of Narcissism
15. Fly Lord
16. Fun House
17. Goodbye Heaven
18. Huge Plans
19. I Got Ya!
20. It's for You!

21. Kickin' the Bucket
22. The Lone Hunting Heart
23. Memories of Yesteryear
24. Nature Calls
25. Endless Jokes
26. Noise and Anger
27. Petite Chicks
28. Royal Guys
29. Sunrise Too
30. You Do the Crime, You Do the Time

Scroll down for the answers.















1. A Century Alone



2. Abbatoir #5



3. Almost Heaven



4. Angry Raisins



5. The Big Red A



6. The Bloody Headband



7. Blown Away



8. Buncha Idiots



9. Bye Bye Guns



10. Car-Bound



11. Conflict and the Lack Thereof



12. Dads and Grads



13. Entropy



14. A Festival of Narcissism



15. Fly Lord



16. Fun House



17. Goodbye Heaven



18. Huge Plans



19. I Got Ya!



20. It's for You!



21. Kickin' the Bucket



22. The Lone Hunting Heart



23. Memories of Yesteryear



24. Nature Calls



25. Endless Jokes



26. Noise and Anger



27. Petite Chicks



28. Royal Guys



29. Sunrise Too



30. You Do the Crime, You Do the Time



And, yes, as a former English teacher, I’ve read all but a handful of these.  Just for fun, I’ve included the cover for the book I originally read where I could.  Yup, I have a photographic memory too.

Monday, October 3, 2022

When Capitals Are Not the Biggest Cities in a State

I don’t know why, but I’m kind of fascinated with state capitals. In a previous post, I looked at how central (or not) they may be. You know, Indianapolis versus, say, Juneau. 

Another question possibly related to location is the size of the capital, especially relative to other cities in that state. Think about it. The state fathers might, for example, have platted a capital right in the middle of the state, only to find out later that there were more propitious locations along a river or lake, or at the confluence of trails, roads or railroads. Later, the capital may have only had government to sustain it, while the other cities simply grew and grew. 

Similarly, there are probably some capitals out there that simply reflect original settlement – along the coast, heading east to west, etc. Once again, they may have been outstripped by someplace else more favored elsewhere.

Now, there are plenty of cases where the largest city is, indeed the capital – Boston, Richmond, Phoenix, Atlanta, Indianapolis, Oklahoma City, Honolulu …  Interestingly, though, there are more where that is not the case.  Overall, it’s about a 60/40 split.  

Cases in point include the nation’s four largest cities – NYC, LA, Chicago, Houston … In fact, of the 10  largest cities in the US, only Phoenix and Austin serve as state capitals.

60% of 50 is a lot, though, so what I think I’ll do is just show you the state capitals that are less than 10% the size of the biggest cities in that state. I’ll be ranking them in decreasing order of comparability. I’ll be listing the percentage, the state & then the capital / biggest city.

Shall we?


9% - Nevada (Carson City / Las Vegas)

Founded in 1858, Carson City was named after the famous Kit Carson, an early scout of the area. It boomed after discovery of the Comstock Lode, becoming the territorial capital in 1861 and the state capital in 1864. 

Though it nabbed a US mint in 1870, Carson City was left a little high and dry when the Comstock Lode ran out. In fact, it took until 1960 to equal its 1880 population. That said, it is one of the biggest capital cities in physical size, at 146 square miles.

Everybody knows Vegas, but you might not realize how recent its growth is. Founded as recently as 1911, it only started to grow with legalized gambling in 1931, and only really took off in the 1950s and ‘60s.

The trees have grown up, but that’s the only change


9% - Kentucky (Frankfort / Louisville)

Frankfort lies between Kentucky’s two largest cities, Lexington and Louisville. That, however, had nothing to do with its being selected the capital. Instead, it won over the selection committee by offering a “log house as capitol for seven years, a number of town lots, $50 worth of locks and hinges, 10 boxes of glass, 1,500 pounds of nails, and $3,000 in gold” (Wikipedia). 

It’s location on the Kentucky River also helped. Indeed, the settlement was originally called Frank’s Ford, after Jewish pioneer Stephen Frank. It was founded in 1786 and became the state capital in 1792.

Lexington, Louisville and Frankfort were all in the running again in the 1890s when the state legislature seriously considered a move. After 100 years in the same place, though, they decided to simply stay put.

Looks a lot like that one in DC, don’t it?


7% - South Dakota (Pierre / Sioux Falls)

Pierre (pronounced “peer”) is the second least-populous state capital, with only 14,000 people. (Montpelier, VT is first, with only 8,000.) It was originally an Indian trading station, dubbed Fort Pierre, and named after Pierre Chouteau Jr., a prominent fur trader. 

Founded in 1880, the town of Pierre was chosen as the capital upon statehood in 1889. Its central location and siting on the Missouri River were its main attractions.  Its main rival was Huron, which still has more people to this day.  

Today, though still smack dab in the middle of the state, Pierre is not that easy to get to. It is one of a just a few state capitals that are not served by the interstate highway system.

Sioux Falls never shared Pierre’s central location, being instead near the borders of Minnesota & Iowa. Older than Pierre (having been founded in 1876), it only really started growing in the 20th Century.

Rather unique capitol for its sylvan location & black dome 


7% - Washington (Olympia / Seattle)

Settled in the 1840s, Olympia was an early crossroads for water-borne trade. It was named after the Olympic Mountains, northwest of the city. Olympia became the territorial capital in 1853 when Washington separated from Oregon. 

Unfortunately, the railroad, when it finally came through, decided to place its terminus in Tacoma. Nonetheless, the capital stayed in Olympia, becoming the state capital in 1889. In the meantime, the northern parts of Puget Sound, including Seattle as well, just grew and grew.

Seattle has a long history of being a boom town, starting with timber; then as a jumping off point for the gold rush; and finally for shipbuilding, aircraft (Boeing), and tech (Microsoft, Amazon). 

A bit top-heavy, no?


7% - Maryland (Annapolis / Baltimore)

Settled in 1649, Annapolis was named, consecutively, Proctor’s Town, Town at the Severn, Anne Arundel’s Town (after wife of first Proprietor of Maryland), and – finally – Annapolis (after the Queen).  It became the capital in 1694, taking over from St Mary’s City (which was eventually abandoned). 

Annapolis also once served as the nation’s capital, during the years 1783 and 1784. It’s probably best known as the home of the Naval Academy. I was very lucky to live nearby as a kid while my cousin attended. Got to know the Academy and Annapolis very well.

Baltimore dates back to only 1706. Founded as a tobacco port, it took off big time after the B&O railroad, one of the first railroads in the US, made it its terminus in 1830.

Wow, does that shot bring back some memories


4% - Illinois (Springfield / Chicago)

Springfield is the 6th largest city in Illinois, and the largest outside of Chicagoland. It was founded in the 1810s, and originally called Calhoun. That particular SC secessionist & fire eater became rather unpopular in the North, however, so the townsfolk renamed the town in 1832.

Springfield became the state capital in 1839, following in the footsteps of Kaskaskia & Vandalia. Its much more central location, along with some politicking from resident Abraham Lincoln helped seal the deal. Indeed, Lincoln called Springfield home for almost 25 years, from 1837 to 1861.

Chicago was founded in 1833, at an important portage between the Great Lakes & the watershed of the Mississippi River. The Erie Canal and railroads cemented its status as the hub of the Midwest and the 3rd largest city in the country.

Chez Abe


3% - Pennsylvania (Harrisburg / Philadelphia)

The area that would become Harrisburg was first settled in 1719, by one John Harris, Sr. His son, John Harris, Jr. subsequently led the drive to have the settlement incorporated, in 1791. 

Harrisburg became the capital in 1821, as Pennsylvania looked for a more central location than that of the previous two capitals, Philadelphia and Lancaster. Indeed, Harrisburg’s on a great site – smack dab in the middle of the state, on the Susquehanna River, and at the crossroads of several Indian trails.

Harrisburg may be most famous for the Hersheypark amusement park, as well as infamous for Three Mile Island. Philadelphia’s famous for all sorts of things.

Highlight of my middle school field trip. What could be more fun for a teenage boy?


1% - New York (Albany / New York City)

Albany was settled in 1614, chartered in 1698, and made the capital in 1797 (when NY became a state and the US became a country). Previous capitals included Kingston, Hurley, Poughkeepsie, and New York City.

Originally called Beverwijck (“beaver district”) by the Dutch, it was re-named for the Duke of Albany (later King James II). It’s the oldest continuously chartered city in the country and the 2nd oldest American city that is also a capital (behind Santa Fe).

Albany seems to have a perfect location. It’s at the northern limit of navigation on the Hudson, is where the Mohawk and Hudson meet, was the original terminus of the Erie Canal & was the crossroads of numerous paths, roads & railroads. Nonetheless, it has always been outshone by its neighbor to the south.

It looks like a hotel, but it’s actually the capitol