I like true crime. My wife likes sappy Hallmark stuff. We were joking at dinner the other day what a combination of those two genres might look like.
Methodology
- Find a list of all Hallmark’s Christmas movies (their cheesiest product)
- Substitute “murder” for “Christmas” in the title and description (more or less)
- Make a few more edits, if needed (including turning infinitive phrases into “to commit murder”)
- Cull the list for the best ones
- Present them here in no particular order
- Throw in some pix from real, honest-to-goodness Christmas horror movies (there is such a thing)
- Enjoy!
The Murder Spirit
A women lands in a coma but realizes her spirit is awake, so she tries to communicate with people in her town and convinces them to commit murder.
The Murder Shepherd
The search for a missing dog leads to murder.
The Murder Secret
While her life is falling apart, single mom Christine finds a magical family heirloom that leads to murder.
The Murder Ornament
A widow plans to give Christmas festivities a miss, as they bring back too many memories of murder.
My Murder Dream
An ambitious store manager of a renowned retail flagship store must enlist the help of a struggling, single-father handyman to help her commit murder.
Ice Sculpture Murder
Callie, an aspiring chef, with her childhood friend David, enter Callie into a club's annual Christmas ice sculpting competition against her boss. Callie's passions for cooking and ice sculpting are met with murder.
A Perfect Murder
A newlywed couple prepare to host their first murder together, but things don't go according to plan.
Murder Incorporated
Riley lands herself a new job via a case of mistaken identity, and her first assignment is to murder her new boss on a trip to save a failing toy factory.
The Most Murderous Time of the Year
Corporate analyst and single mom Jen tackles murder with a business-like approach until her uncle arrives with a handsome stranger in tow.
Once Upon a Murder
When a Princess escapes her entourage to explore New York City over Christmas, she meets a young man who murders her.
A Murder for Christmas
A single man tries to win a bet by getting a woman recovering from a broken engagement to murder him by Christmas.
A Cookie Cutter Murder
Two schoolteachers take their rivalry to a new level, while they scramble to win a holiday baking contest and the affections of a handsome single murderer.
A Rose for Murder
Andy's family has built Rose Parade floats for generations. When her Dad gets sick, Andy's forced to supervise the construction and decoration of their client's float and deal with a murder.
A Nutcracker Murder
When her niece is cast in The Philadelphia Ballet's production of the Nutcracker, a jaded ex-ballerina is forced to commit murder.
Eve’s Murder
A wealthy and successful career woman gets a second chance in life when a magical wish transports her back in time eight years to when she murdered her fiance to lead a business life in New York.
Our First Murder
Murder plans are destined to be ruined when two families come together.
A Dog Named Murder
A developmentally challenged young man with a penchant for caring for animals in need sets out to convince his family - and their whole rural community - to participate in a local shelter's inaugural "Murder a Dog for Christmas Program."
Mrs. Murder
Overwhelmed widower Seth Webster is searching for a housekeeper to help him with his unruly six-year-old twin sons. "Mrs. Murder" mysteriously appears and quickly becomes an irreplaceable nanny, chef, friend... and murderer.
The Murder Pageant
When a temperamental Broadway director is fired from yet another job, she is forced to commit a murder.
I’ll Be Home for Murder
Jackie Foster is a dynamic Assistant District Attorney and single mom. But when Jackie's estranged dad, Jack, a gruff retired police officer, unexpectedly shows up at her door, they will be forced to confront an old murder.
Hearts of Murder
When Jenny plans a Christmas retirement party for her beloved hospital supervisor, she butts heads with Matt, a new manager determined on murder.
Enchanted Murder
Young widow Laura Trudeau was a remarkable dancer. As a project manager she is tasked with renovating a lodge in her hometown and having it ready by Christmas Eve. She is stunned it's the lodge where she and her former love committed murder.
Finding Murder
Grace is thrilled to be taking over the town's Christmas parade, but when the man playing St. Nick is murdered, she needs to find a replacement, even if the replacement is unwilling.
The Murder Train
A cynical journalist decides to take a train from Washington, D.C. to Los Angeles for Christmas to get inspiration for a story in honor of his late father. He gets to know the other passengers and runs into an old flame while aboard, whom he murders.
Switched for Murder
When identical twin sisters are stuck planning their respective Christmas parties, they're convinced the grass is greener on the other side and decide to commit murder.
Sharing Murder
Stephanie Nichols takes over the Christmas Shop, but a property developer has bought the building and is terminating the retail leases. She finds help and love from Michael Kilpatrick, who murders him.
Murder for Christmas Day
A young woman begins a long-distance relationship with an active-duty soldier, then murders him.
Murder in the Air
Struggling with his work-life balance, a widowed father-of-two enlists the help of a professional organizer for the holiday season, then murders her.
A Song for Murder
Country music's latest "It Girl," Adelaide Kay, has a hit single and is linked with a hot star. She should be overjoyed, but dislikes pretending she's in love. Even worse, her manager doesn't want her to write her own songs anymore. She murders him.
Murder Homecoming
A widow of a war hero takes in an injured soldier who has just returned from Afghanistan. Together they commit murder.
Rocky Mountain Murder
After her breakup with a famous tech entrepreneur makes national headlines, Sarah returns to her uncle's ranch to escape the spotlight where she crosses paths with a Hollywood actor and murders him.
The Sons of Murder
A foster home for boys is in danger of being closed when its benefactor is murdered.
Slayer Bells
Manhattanite Catherine O'Mara bonds with a young man who has run away from his father. When the father returns to New York a year later to sell his Christmas trees, they murder him.
Mr. Murder
A Guardian Angel, posing as an English teacher, helps a young woman commit murder.
Signed, Sealed, Delivered for Murder
When the beloved quartet of postal detectives discover an urgent letter written to God on Christmas Eve, they delay their own plans to help a little girl commit murder.
A Royal Murder
While on a last-minute European holiday, a young woman finds herself in the middle of a real-life fairy tale when a chance meeting with a handsome local leads to murder.
Murder Me at Christmas
A bridal boutique owner who is deep in the flurry of planning an exquisite Christmas wedding, is unexpectedly murdered by the bride's brother.
The Sweetest Murder
Kylie is expecting a proposal from her boyfriend/boss at a restaurant and gets a promotion instead. The restaurant owner is her old high school boyfriend, who she hasn't seen in years. They help each other out. Is murder in the air?
One Starry Murder
When journeying by bus to surprise her boyfriend for Christmas, Holly meets a charming cowboy who she murders.
Murder and Mistletoe
A young woman who left the year-round holiday party of "Santaville" - where her dad reigns as the resident St. Nick - returns to find her father murdered.
Catch a Murder Star
With the help of his two precocious kids, a widower murders his high school sweetheart, who just happens to be one of the biggest pop stars on the planet.
Northpole: Open for Murder
When Mackenzie inherits her aunt's once-majestic inn, she decides to sell it. But fixing up the rundown place is more challenging than she had anticipated. Then the magic of murder intervenes, with unexpected help from killer elves.
