Funny Names from the NFL Draft

It’s that time again. There are over 250 players, so there’s gonna be a good chance there will be some interesting names out there. Let’s give it a go …

#13 – Nehemiah Pritchett
Auburn, CB 
SEA – Rd 5, Pick 1 (136)

A Nathaniel Hawthorne character if I ever heard one …

Football stuff – 4-year starter / wore #1 / appearance in Senior Bowl / was a “rotational nickle” in 2021 (whatever that means)

Fun facts – liberal arts major / likes playing video games / goes by king_mighty1 on both X and Instagram

#12 – Decamerion Richardson
Miss State, CB
LV – Rd 4, Pick 12 (112)

So, Cameron wasn’t good enough for you?

Football stuff – led all CBs with an 88 athleticism score at the NFL Combine / has “oustanding frame potential” (whatever that means) / is a “highly traitsy prospect” (ditto)

Fun facts – Honor Roll student / Interdisciplinary Studies major / likes to ride horses in his spare time / cousin of NFLer Devin White

#11 – Mekhi Wingo
LSU, DT
DET – Rd 6, Pick 13 (189)

Mekhi? Wingo? Mehki Wingo?

Football stuff – team captain / 3rd team All American / formerly at Mizzou / “disruptive penetrator as a three-tech” (whatever that means)

Fun facts – “undersized” at 6’ and 284 lbs / just turned 21 / is from St Louis (Mississippi) 

#10 - Tanor Bortolini
Wisconsin, C
IND – Rd 4, Pick 17 (117)

Hey, my favorite kind of pasta!  I just love me some baked bortolini bolognese.

Football stuff – trained with Duke Manyweather (whoever he is) / “generates eye-catching one-step burst into contact” (whatever that means) / “has the flexibility to flip back inside and seal defenders inside the A-gap on reach blocks” (ditto)

Fun facts – Academic All Big Ten 3 years running / Real Estate and Urban Land Economics major / native of Germany 

#9 - Delmar Glaze
Maryland, OT
LV – Rd 3, Pick 13 (77)

Weird, unusual last name, meet weird, unusual & hoplessly out of date first name.

Football stuff – Senior Bowler / 3rd-team All Big Ten / “lack of twitch and range on an island showed up against Penn State edge-rusher Abdul Carter this season” (whatever that means)

Fun facts – Family Life major / is from my hometown (Charlotte, NC)

#8 - TJ Tampa
Iowa State, CB
BAL – Rd 4, Pick 30 (130)

And he wasn’t drafted by the Bucs???

Football stuff – 3rd-team AP All American / 1st-team All Big 12 / Nagurski & Thorpe awards finalist 

Fun facts – is from St Pete! / had scholarship offers for basketball as well

#7 - Christian Mahogany
BC, OG
DET – Rd 6, Pick 34 (210)

Wait til you see his brothers Islamic and Jewish!

Football stuff – 1st-team All ACC / “pad level suffers from inability to play with consistent bend” (whatever that means)

Fun facts – finance major / grad student in the Carroll School of Mgmt / nickname is “Dirtbag”

#6 - Kool-Aid McKinstry
Alabama, CB
NO – Rd 2, Pick 9 (41)

Has a brother named Hawaiian-Punch and a sister named Crystal-Light.

Football stuff – 1st-team All American / semifinalist for the Jim Thorpe Award / “confident to handle business on an island and is able to stay in phase as the route travels vertically” (whatever that means) 

Fun facts – real name is Ga’Quincy / nicknamed by his grandmother who thought his smile reminded her of the Kool-Aid Man / signed an NIL deal with Kool-Aid as a freshman 

#5 - Zak Zinter
Michigan, OG
CLE – Rd 3, Pick 21 (85)

Zounds!  Gotta love the alliteration on this one.

Football stuff – unanimous 1st-team All-American / team captain

Fun facts – 2-time Academic All American / grad of Boston prep school Buckingham Browne & Nichols / also did shotput in HS / wrote a children’s book called The Men Up Front

#4 - T’Vondre Sweat
Texas, DT

TEN - Rd 2, Pick 6 (38)

I hope that’s pronounced “sweet.”

Football stuff – Outland Trophy winner / unanimous 1st-team All American / heaviest defensive player in the NFL at 362 lbs

Fun facts – honor roll student & on the Big 12 All Academic team / brother Josh is with the Eagles 

#3 - Ruke Orhorhoro
Clemson, DT
ATL – Rd 2, Pick 3 (35)

Rotsa ruck in the NFL, Ruke!

Football stuff – 3rd-team All ACC / played football for the 1st time in his junior year of HS

Fun facts – real 1st name is Oghenerukevwe / from Nigeria / also lived in England / just got a masters in Athletic Leadership

#2 - Sedrick Van Pran-Granger
Georgia, C
BUF – Rd 5, Pick 6 (141)

Nazi villain if I ever heard one …

Football stuff – 1st-team All SEC / team captain / finished college career with 44 consecutive starts / “has the hand quickness, placement and play strength to scrap against the nose” (whatever that means)

Fun facts – art major / mother’s name is Keon Van Pran-Wiltz

#1 - Qwan’tez Stiggers
Toronto Argonauts (CFL), CB
NYJ – Rd 5, Pick 41 (176)

As if Stiggers wasn’t bad enough ...

Footbal stuff – did not play college football (?!?!) / played in Fan Controlled Football (FCF), a livestreaming indoor American football league, before heading to the CFL / CFL’s Most Outstanding Rookie

Fun facts – middle name is London / supported himself by working at Walmart, washing cars, selling cars, delivering food, and changing oil