Thursday, April 3, 2014

B Movie Title Generator

I love B movies. Zombies, aliens, bad acting, lame special effects … These things cannot be cheesy enough for me. I love them all. Ed Wood is one of my all-time heroes.

Looking through my collection the other day, I noticed a definite pattern when it came to titles for these things. It seems to go something along the lines of “adjective + entity[+s] of/from place.” You know, like Terror Creatures from the Grave, or Wild Women of Wongo, or Devil Girl from Mars (all real, by the way)

And that led me to create this handy tool. Perhaps you can use it for your own venture into movie-making.

Here’s how it works:
  1. Take your first initial and match it up to the word in column A
  2. Take your middle initial and match it up to the word in column B 
  3. Add the word “from”
  4. Take your last initial and match it up to the phrase in column C*
* For [A], you can pick whatever you like from column A

Voila! You now have a movie.

Let me show you a couple of examples. My full name is Clifford P. Anderson. That gives me “blood” for Clifford, “predators” for P., and “[A] island” for Anderson (let’s go with “zombie” for “[A]”). Put ‘em all together and you get “Blood Predators from Zombie Island.” Duh-duh-duh Duh!

JFK? Demon Creatures from Beyond the Sun! T.S.Eliot? Robot Slaves from Another Universe! Michael J. Fox? Evil Killers from Another World! Lee Harvey Oswald? Doomsday Ghosts from Planet Evil! HR Puffenstuff? Creeping Prisoners from the Savage Planet!

Initial A B C
A alien assassins [A] island
B atomic beasts a different world
C blood bigfoots another dimension
D bloody brain another planet
E cannibal creatures another universe
F chilling demons another world
G crazed devils beneath the sea
H creeping ghosts beyond space
I death invaders beyond the grave
J demon killers beyond the moon
K devil machines beyond the sun
L doomsday madmen beyond the universe
M evil monsters galaxy X
N hell nazis outer space
O horror outlaws planet [A]
P killer predators the [A] planet
Q nazi prey the 6th dimension
R outlaw prisoners the center of the earth
S robo robots the future
T robot slave grave
U savage species the haunted cave
V teenage spiders the lost planet
W terror UFOs the lost universe
X undead vampires the lost world
Y vampire werewolves the underworld
Z zombie zombies the wasteland

Oh, Terror Creatures from the Grave? It’s initials would be WET. Hmm …  It wouldn’t be William Howard Taft (that would give us Terror Ghosts from the Grave though). I know, I know. How about William E. Timmons, Sr.? You know, the famous Washington lobbyist? President of the Timmons Company? Ah, never mind.