Saturday, January 15, 2022

Most Ridiculous Bowl Games

Boy, there sure are a lotta bowl games out there. Forty-one, to be exact.

Not like the good ol’ days. Back then, there were only a handful of ‘em. And they were typically pretty straightforward affairs. Set up a couple of conferences against each other, find some city in a warmer part of the country, then give it all a name touting some local product – peaches, oranges, sugar, cotton …

Nowadays, though, pretty much anything goes. And, over the years, that has led to some pretty silly names and concepts. Here are my top 20, in order of increasing ridiculousness.


20.  Tailgreeter Cure Bowl (Orlando FL, 2004-2009)

Okay, I kinda like this one. The “Cure” is for breast cancer, with all proceeds going to research. Not sure I woulda guessed that on my own though.

“Tailgreeter”? No clue. According to the Google, though, they are a “digital marketplace that connects tailgate hosts with fans that prefer to join a tailgate instead of trying to set it up themselves.” No idea if they’ll be around next year or not.

Trivia


  • Only dates back to 2015
  • Takes place in the wonderfully named Camping World Stadium
  • Is primarily for Sun Belt Conference teams

Of course it's pink


19.  Brut Sun Bowl / Vitalis Sun Bowl (El Paso TX, 2004-2009)

Two pretty cheesy, definitely old-fashioned, rather smelly menscare products. What better way to add a little class to one of the older bowls (1935) out there?

Well, at least they didn’t name it after those products’ parent corporation. Yup, can you imagine the Helen of Troy Bowl?

Trivia
  • The 1940 game, between Arizona State and Catholic Univ., was particularly exciting, ending in a 0-0 tie
  • Participants have included Texas Mines (now UTEP), Hardin-Simmons, Second Air Force & the Universidad Nacional Autonoma de Mexico
  • MVPs have included Arnold Ale, Junior Arteburn, Billy Joe [sic] & Preston Ridlehuber
  • I wonder if they doused the winning coach with this stuff?

He’d probably reek for weeks


18.  GMAC Mobile Alabama Bowl (Mobile AL, 2018-2019)

I wonder where this one is? Oh, Mobile! You mean Mobile, Alabama, right? Not Mobile, NY, or Mobile, CA, or Mobile North Dakota?

Heck, maybe they just named it that way so it wouldn’t be confused with the Mobil Corporation. You remember them, don’t you? Heck, they’re still around, aren’t they?

Trivia
  • Was once held in Ladd-Peebles Stadium
  • Has also been sponsored by GoDaddy
  • Set a bowl record for most points (125) and biggest differential (56)
  • Brian Leftwich, Ben Roethlisberger & Cornelious Brown IV have all been MVPs

Never sponsored a bowl, as far as I know


17.  Makers Wanted Bahamas Bowl (Nassau, 2018-2019)

You know, this one doesn’t sound all that crazy. Who in the heck, though, is Makers Wanted? 

Well, would you believe it’s the slogan for the “largest consolidated business park in North America,” located in Elk Grove Village, IL?

Trivia
  • Also once sponsored by Popeye’s
  • Not the first bowl outside the US, with Havana, Cuba formerly sponsoring the Bacardi Bowl
  • Award is called the Prime Minister’s Trophy
  • Cooper Rush, with Central Michigan, threw for 497 yards in 2014


Well, whaddya know.  Looks like they sponsor the American dream as well.


17.  Dollar General Bowl (Mobile AL, 2016-18)

Once again, not that crazy. But just consider what it feels like to play in a game sponsored by a super-cheap, definitely down-market dollar store. I mean, have you ever been in one of those things?

Trivia – see # 19, above



15.  Transperfect Music City Bowl (Nashville TN, 2020-)

So, what exactly is “transperfect music”? Okay, seriously, “Music City” I get. What the heck, though, is “Transperfect”?

Well, turns out it’s “TransPerfect,” and it’s a “translation, E-Discovery and language services company.”  Kinda reminds me of some of the rinky-dink / flash-in-the-pan companies from other bowl games –AdvoCare (an MLM), Royal Purple, magicJack, homepoint.com (also a Music City sponsor, and now defunct) …

Trivia
  • Auburn set a bowl record by scoring 56 in a single half against Purdue in 2018
  • Is known for upsets
  • MVPs have included a kicker & a punter
  • Tennessee & Purdue combined for 666 total yards in the latest version (2021)
  • Gaylord was another sponsor


14.  uDrove Humanitarian Bowl (Boise ID, 2010)

Not sure what’s more interesting here. First, we’ve got the totally obscure uDrove. According to the Interwebs, the company does actually exist, and “provides innovative fleet management solutions for the transportation industry.” It appears to be located in a small town in Idaho, employ 44 people, & lack its own website. I have no idea how they managed to fund a bowl.

Equally baffling is the callout to humanitarians. Boosterish callouts to local attractions – oranges, cotton, potatoes, gators, pinstripes – I can understand. But civic virtue? I’ll be waiting for a future Philanthropy Bowl, or Benevolence Bowl, or Civility Bowl.

Well, whaddya know – it all comes back to that major Boise attraction, the World Sports Humanitarian Hall of Fame. Unfortunately, that’s now closed, and memorabilia relating to Julius Erving, Steve Young, Edgar Martinez & others now reside in a warehouse in Santa Clara.

Trivia
  • Other sponsors include Crucial Technology (since renamed), MPC Computers (now defunct), Roady’s Truck Stops & The Idaho Potato Commission (see below)
  • Longest running cold-weather bowl (since 1997)
  • When Roady’s was the sponsor, featured a "Highway Angel of the Year," a truck driver who was honored for saving the life of a motorist
  • MVPs include Josh Allen, Colin Kaepernick & Zach Wilson
  • Idaho & Colorado State scored 111 points total in 2016

First 7 returns for “uDrove” on the Google


13.  Poulan Weed Eater Independence Bowl (Shreveport LA, 1990-97)

Points for length, weird product & funny name (hey, it begins with “poo”!). 

The “Independence” part comes from the year the bowl was founded (1976). “Poulan” comes from Claude Poulan, who founded a tool company in Shreveport back in 1912. “Weed Eater” is just a stroke of marketing genius.

Trivia 
  • 2000 game, between Texas A&M and Mississippi State, featured a very rare snowstorm
  • 2015 game, between and Tulsa & VA Tech, set a bowl record for most points total in a half, with 76
  • Eli Manning, Daniel Jones & Gary Kubiak have been MVPs
  • Has been derisively called the “Weed Whacker Bowl”

Claude also invented the chainsaw


12.  Heart of Dallas Bowl presented by PlainsCapital Bank (Dallas TX, 2012)

8 words! 45 characters! 53 including spaces! It’s a new world record!

This is now known as the Servpro First Responder Bowl. It was originally known as the Dallas Football Classic.

PlainsCapital Bank? Just some local bank.

Trivia
  • The bowl’s motto is “not your average bowl game” (though I'm not exactly sure why)
  • Was formerly played in the Cotton Bowl
  • Is now played at Gerald R. Ford Stadium, at SMU
  • Case Keenum generated 542 yards of total offense in a 2012 game between Houston & Penn State
Guess it woulda taken a lot more money to get the bank first


11.  Mineral Water Bowl (Excelsior Springs MO, 1990-)

So, first of all, this is Division II. I guess that’s better, though, than when it was NAIA (1954-75), junior colleges (1992-99) & high schools (1947-51).

Excelsior Springs is a suburb of Kansas City, with a population of 10,000. There are indeed some springs, which were popular in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. 

The official sponsor is the Excelsior Springs Quarterback Club.

Trivia
  • Div II competitors have included Washburn, Bemidji State & Winona State
  • NAIA ones counted Parsons, William Jewell, College of Emporia, Friends & Graceland
  • Junior college invitees included Middle Georgia, Snow, Blinn & Itawamba

Lots of Google Image results like this one


10.  Duck Commander Independence Bowl (Shreveport LA, 2014)

Okay, now we’re talkin’. What could be a more ridiculous sponsor than something called Duck Commander?

Well, would you believe it’s related to the Duck Dynasty TV show? It’s not something I ever watched, but I guess it was all about this local company that produces duck calls. Interestingly, the founder, Phil Roberston, played QB at Louisiana Tech.

Trivia – see #13, above


Robertson actually started ahead of Terry Bradshaw (though his 44% pass completion rate & 12-34 touchdown-to-interception left a little to be desired)


9.  Duke’s Mayo Bowl (Charlotte NC, 2020-)

Originally the Queen City Bowl, this one has seen a number of different sponsors since it started in 2002. 

Condiments, though, are a surefire way to make your bowl sound more than a little silly. Too bad there aren’t any Ketchup Bowls, or Mustard Bowls, or Relish Bowls, or Ninja Squirrel Hot Sauce Bowls out there.

BTW, Duke’s Mayo is a Southern thing. Being from Charlotte myself, its honestly hard to imagine using anything else.

Trivia
  • Nick Starkel, of Texas A&M passed for 499 yards against Wake Forest in 2017 (& lost!)
  • Together, the teams put up 107 total points
  • The winning quarterback in the 2020 game, Graham Wertz of Wisconsin, dropped the glass trophy, causing it to shatter
  • Yes, the winning coach is indeed slathered in mayo

You didn’t believe me, did you?


8.  Famous Idaho Potato Bowl (Boise ID, 2011-)

You ever wonder if Idaho potatoes are ever anything other than “famous”? Delicious, maybe? Large? Tasty? Packed with nutrients? Nope. Just not gonna happen.

Too bad this wasn’t the Famous Idaho Potato Humanitarian Bowl. Yup, it’s the same one.

Trivia – see # 14



7.  Cheez-It Bowl (Phoenix AZ, 2018-19 / Orlando FL, 2020-)

I love those ridiculous snack brand names – Ding Dongs, Funyuns, Ho-Hos, Cheetos, Goo-Goo Clusters … Just not sure that’s the best name for any self-respecting bowl game however.

Ya gotta give those Cheez-It people credit though. Not everyone can lay claim to two bowl games. 

Trivia
  • The Phoenix game was formerly the Copper Bowl; the Orlando one the Tangerine Bowl
  • The Copper Bowl is now the Guaranteed Rate Bowl
  • That bowl has also attempted to promote pizza, chicken wings & cheap lodging (Domino’s, Buffalo Wild Wings & Motel 6, respectively) 
  • MVPs have included Aaron Rodgers, Le’Veon Bell, Zebbie Lethbridge & Trung Candidate
  • The Orlando game seems to have attracted its fair share of companies that have subsequently gone out of business (Blockbuster & Micron PC)
  • MVPs for it have included Phillips River, Russel Wilson & Amp Lee
  • In the 2015 edition, Baylor rushed for 645 yards, against UNC
  • Confusingly, the Capital One Bowl was once called the Tangerine Bowl as well

There have been over 50 varieties of Cheez-Its over the years
(I actually think this particular one is genius)


6.  Walk-On’s Independence Bowl (Shreveport LA, 2017-19)

A bowl just for walk-ons? Who would wanna watch that?

Well, this additional incarnation of the Independence Bowl was actually sponsored by Walk-On’s Sports Bistreaux. Sounds like it’s just another sports bar, but with a Cajun theme & located mostly in the South.

Trivia – see above



5.  Tony the Tiger Bowl  (El Paso TX, 2019-)

I guess you could call this one the “cereal bowl.” Hah hah hah ... Sorry.

So, why not the Count Chocula Bowl, or the Cap’n Crunch Bowl, or the Professor Waldo Wigglesworth Bowl?

Well, for one thing, none of those are mascots for a Kellogg cereal, as is Tony. But, I mean, honestly, why couldn’t they have called it the Kellog’s Sun Bowl, or the Corn Flakes Sun Bowl, or something a little more dignified? 

It seems like the least they could do to honor the 2nd oldest bowl there is, one dating all the way back to 1935. 

Trivia – see #19, above



4.  Battlefrog Fiesta Bowl  (Glendale AZ, 2016)

Battlefrog, huh? Well, as far as I can tell, it has something to do with obstacle courses for adults. Do you remember that? It was, quite inexplicably, mildly popular for about 10 seconds maybe 5 years ago. Not too unsurprisingly, the BattleFrog company is no longer in business.

It does seem, though, like an odd sponsor for a repeat host of the national championship & a bowl that dates back to 1971. 

Trivia
  • Controversy surrounding the game has included illegal political contributions and Arizona’s failure to recognize the MLK holidays
  • 2 games, in 1996 & 2004, have resulted in 0-0 ties
  • MVPs have included Browning Nagle, Mike Fink, Peerless Price & Junior Ah You
  • Fink & Kirby Dar Dar have both run a kickoff back for 100 yards

Yup, that’s their mascot


3.  Beef O Brady's St Petersburg Bowl (Tampa, 2009-13)

So, what’s the St Petersburg Bowl doing in Tampa?  And what the heck is Beef O Brady’s?
As for the latter, it’s just another sport bar (with a very slight, corporate nod to the Irish pub), primarily located in the South. 

As for the former, I haven’t a clue.

Trivia – see #1


I’m guessing it was St Paddy’s Day


2.  Culver’s Isthmus Bowl (Madison WI, 2021)

Many questions here …
  • Who is Culver?
  • Why was an isthmus named after him?
  • Where is said isthmus located?
  • Why would anyone want to include the word “isthmus” in anything?  (It’s hard to spell, it’s hard to say & many people don’t even know what it means.)
Now, I do happen to know a little about Wisconsin and its capital city. So, I was eventually able to figure it out. Just in case you’re not, though:
  • Culver’s is a Midwestern burger joint
  • An isthmus is a geographical feature of Madison (between two lakes)
That said, who would possibly know outside of some cheeseheads? Guess they really weren’t looking for a national audience, eh? Considering it’s held at the Verona Area High School and features powerhouses from the DIV III Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference and College Conference of Illinois and Wisconsin, I guess they just about nailed it. 

Trivia – Considering it’s only been played once, there might not be a lot here. That said:
  • CCILW teams includes Carthage, Augustana & Millikin
  • WIAC teams includes UW-Oshkosh, UW-Prattville & UW-Stout
  • Sponsors include American Family Insurance (Smokey Anderson, Agent) & “the Shaw family”
  • UW-River Falls defeated beat Washington Univ-St Louis 48 to 27
  • UWRF also tied a Div III record with 44 first downs


1. Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl (Tampa Fl, 2017-19)

A couple of things we have learned so far on our journey:
  • Lawn care products are inherently kinda lame, with their images of suburban dads puttering away another weekend
  • They attract silly names (weed eaters, weed whackers, Snapper, Lawn-Boy, Bad Boy …)
  • Nobody outside your local area knows what your cute, little moniker ("Gasparilla") means 
  • Violate all 3 of those together, and I think we have a real winner
Trivia
  • Participants have included football powerhouses Marshall, Ball State & Miami of Ohio (i.e., not of Florida)
  • MVPs have included Duke Calhoun & Vintavious Cooper
  • UCF racked up 587 yards against Marshall in 2019
  • Gasparilla comes from a pirate, named Gaspar, who supposedly terrorized Florida’s west coast
  • It’s also the name of a local pirate festival

Halftime entertainment?