Friday, March 8, 2024

Premier League Boobie Prizes

Everybody knows who the winningest teams are, the greatest players, the biggest matches, etc. Well, how about on the other side? What’s the worst?

Two points of methodology:

  • There are only 20 teams in the EPL at any one time, so I’m expanding my data set to include any team that has played in the EPL since its inception in 1992.
  • I’m focusing on the stuff that doesn’t really matter – club names, mascots, logos, etc.


Stupidest Club Name

Sheffield Wednesday - nothing else even comes close.

Now, if you’re familiar with this club, you may also be familiar with how that name came about. It’s really pretty simple …

Sheffield Wednesday took their name from a local cricket club that just so happened to play their games … drum roll, please … on Wednesdays. Both the cricket and football clubs are some of the oldest out there (1820 and 1867, respectively), by the way.

The team was originally known as the Wednesday Football Club. They switched to Sheffield Wednesday to distinguish themselves from Sheffield United.

Interestingly, their mascot is an owl. And that undoubtedly came from their move to a suburb called Owlerton.

 

Dumbest Nickname

Boy, there sure was a lot of competition for this. You’ve got your West Brom Baggies, AKA the Throstles. You’ve got your Wimbledon Wombles (though they became the Milton Keynes Dons in 2004).  You’ve got your Portsmouth Pompey (after a nickname for the city itself). And you’ve got your Reading Biscuitmen (from local biscuit makers Huntley & Palmer).

I’ve got to go, though, with the Everton Toffeemen. Now, there happens to be no large toffee factory in Everton. I checked. There are, though, a couple of shops near the stadium that sold the treat. Really, though, it’s all a bit of a mystery.

However it came about, Everton embraced it. They even went so far as to have a girl go around the stands before a game tossing sweets into the crowd.

So cute! 

Unfortunately, those sweets were Everton mints. And that’s a kind of candy that is pure sugar and has absolutely no toffee inside them whatsoever. Go figure.

Guess they should have been called the Mintmen, or the Minters, or the Minty Boys, or something like that.


Goofiest Grounds

More stiff competition here as well. This time, though, I think I’m going to give everyone a gold star.

  • Bolton – Toughsheet Comm Stadium. What the heck is “toughsheet”? Actually, it’s a brand of building products. Kind of like a British Tyvek, I would imagine.
  • Bradford – Valley Parade. Named after the neighborhood in which the grounds were sited. The neighborhood, in turn, was named after a flat area (i.e., perhaps used as a parade ground) nestled in a valley.
  • Fulham – Craven Cottage.  Was built on the site of an old hunting lodge, built by the 6th Lord Craven, in 1780. After that succumbed to fire in 1888, Fulham FC moved in.

As for that last one, I’ve got 2 fun facts:

  • Author Edward Bulwer-Lyton lived in the cottage for awhile
  • Fulham’s nickname are, of course, the Cottagers 

One of the quainter grounds out there


Dorkiest Logo

Once again, we’ve got a couple of candidates. Bolton’s, for instance is just super lame:

And Bournemouth’s is just plain weird:

Watford’s, though, really takes the cake.

Why, for example, is there a moose on it? I mean, the team’s nickname is the Hornets after all, right? And why is that moose red? Finally, why is that moose so poorly drawn?

Well, the Interwebs can explain it all.  First, that thing is a hart, a male red deer. These animals, which are native to Britain, look primarily like an elk. Also, they’re not quite as bright red as on the logo. To wit:

As for why that’s on the logo in the first place, the Internet is telling me it’s on the coat of arms for Herefordshire, where Watford is located. Except that’s actually - and no mistake about it - a bull:

Thanks for nothing, Interwebs.


Lamest Motto

Not every club has a motto. Those that do typically have something in Latin. They usually equate to something boring and predictable like “Skill and Work” (Blackburn), “Pride in Battle” (Man City), and “Wisdom and Courage” (Sheffield Wednesday).

Swindon Town seems to have the best one here, Salubritas et Industria. And if you’re Latin’s a little rusty, that means “Health and Industry.” Now, that also happens to be the motto of Swindon itself. It speaks, of course, for the heavy industry in the area, but also for Swindon’s being a model for the NHS. Not so sure, though, that that’s a such a great choice for their football club.

BTW, that’s supposed to be a robin (a nickname for the team) in the upper left quarter


Worst Unis

Not counting away kits or 3rd colors here, as those can be all sorts of craziness (and seem to change every season besides). Home unis, though, seem to stick around forever.

Once again, I’m having a hard time picking choosing from among several candidates. So, here they are:

  • Blackburn – look like jockeys
  • Sheffield – kinda like gondoliers
  • Stoke – a definite barbershop quartet vibe
  • Newcastle – look exactly like basketball refs

And here’s what they actually look like, in order:


Most Embarrassing EPL Mascots

Wow! There are so many of these. I’m going to have to come up with a separate post. Stay tuned.

Saturday, February 3, 2024

The Real Streets of Monopoly

Everybody’s familiar with them – Oriental Avenue, Marvin Garden, Park Place … Not everyone, though, knows these are real places. Yup, Atlantic City has them all.

Of course, they’re not the same streets they were back when Monopoly first came out, in the 1930s. Atlantic City has fallen on some pretty hard times, both before and after gambling was legalized.

Let’s take a look at what those streets look like today.

 

Mediterranean Avenue



Baltic Avenue


Oriental Avenue

 

Vermont Ave.


That's the boardwalk at the end of the street


Connecticut Ave.


Is that really a church???


St Charles Place

This street actually does not exist anymore. It was replaced in full by the Showboat Casino.

 

States Ave.


Virginia Ave.


St James Place.


Tennessee Ave.


It says "laundromat"


New York Ave.


Kentucky Ave.

Yup, those are homeless.


Indiana Ave.

 

Illinois

Illinois doesn’t exist anymore. It is now MLK Blvd.

 

Atlantic Ave.


Ventnor Ave.


Yup, that's an Alcoholics Anonymous


Marvin Gardens

Actually not in Atlantic City at all, but in Margate City, two towns over. Also, it’s properly spelled “Marven.”


Pacific Ave.


North Carolina Ave.




Pennsylvania Ave.


 Yup, that does appear to be an abandoned church.

 

Park Place

Hard to believe, but I didn’t find any shots of desolation here. And that’s partly because 1) it’s so darn short, and 2) it’s still a very nice part of town.

 

Boardwalk



Saturday, January 6, 2024

How English Is the EPL?

Well, it is the English Premier League. And all of the teams are in England.

At the same time, it’s also the most competitive league in the world. And I’m sure you can think of many players – and coaches – who are definitely not English.

So, let’s take a look see …

NOTE:  I do realize England does not include Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, or even the Isle of Man. Nevertheless, I will be including them here. It's just going to make it all so much simpler.


Ownership

This seems like the most obvious play to start. I mean, they’re all oil sheiks, aren’t they?

Surprisingly, it’s the US, with 40%. They also seem to have cornered most of the heavy hitters – MANU (the Glazer family), Liverpool (John Henry), Chelsea and Arsenal. There are, though, several smaller clubs – Fullham, Palace, Bournemouth …

The UK, though, does come in second behind them, with 25%. The biggest team here is undoubtedly Tottenham, with others including smaller clubs like West Ham, Brighton, and Brentford.

The only other country that isn’t a one-off is Saudi Arabia. They’ve been plowing their petro cash into Newcastle and Sheffield. The former is owned by SA’s sovereign fund, with the latter controlled by a member of the royal family.

One Prince Abdullah, to be exact

Oil money is, of course, also funding Man City, owned by a consortium from the UAE. Other one-offs include China (Wolves), Egypt (Villa), Monaco (Everton), and Greece (Forest).

Not too surprisingly, UK ownership gets larger for the lesser leagues:

  • Championship – 33%
  • League One – 85%
  • League Two – 85%


Managers

Another obvious place to look is managers. They seem to be from all over Europe – Klopp, Ten Hag, Guardiola … And off the top of my head, the only English one I can think of is Roy Hodgson (though I forget which club he’s with this year). 

Well, at least the UK has a plurality here, at 35%. This does, indeed, include Hodgson, at Palace. The rest, though, are neither well-known nor at the top clubs. As for the former, David Moyes and Sean Dyche are the only ones I’m familiar with. As for the latter, we’ve got Everton, Newcastle, Wolves …

Roy Hodgson, CBE

The #2 position here is held by Spain, at 20%. And that includes Man City (Guardiola), Arsenal (Arteta), Villa, and Bournemouth. Spain shares the Iberian Peninsula with Portugal, the only other country that has multiple managers in the EPL, with 2.

There are as many one-offs as there are English managers. These include some heavy hitters – Germany (Klopp), the Netherlands (Ten Hag), Argentina (Chelsea), as well as Belgium, Denmark, and even Australia. A little surprised Italy only had one.

Herr Doktor Klopp

As for the other leagues, the same rule holds as for ownership, but even more so:

  • Championship – 54%
  • League One – 92%
  • League Two – 96%


Sponsorship

Sponsorships are funny. There are a number of them. The most obvious one, though, is what appears on the jersey. So, let's go with that.

This one comes closest to a majority, with UK companies representing 45% of the total. Interestingly, most of those are gambling operations, typically set up on the Isle of Man (and representing Chinese money, where gambling is illegal). I’d say the only really well-known British company here is Liverpool’s Standard & Chartered, an insurance company. They’ve actually sponsored the club since 2010.

The US and the UAE both have 2 sponsorships. For the US, this includes the well-known Amex (Brighton) and the rather obscure Infinite Athlete (Chelsea). For the UAE, we’ve got 2 airlines, Emirates (Arsenal) and Etihad (Man City).

One-offs represent 35% of the total, and are kind of all over the place. We’ve got Germany (TeamViewer, MANU) and the Phillipines (Dafabet, Bournemouth). There’s China (Tottenham, AIA) and South Africa (Hollywood Bets, Brentford).

As you can tell from some of those companies, betting is important here as well. Indeed, 40% of all sponsors make their money off of gambling. The 2026 season will change all that, though, when betting companies will not be allowed.

Sorry, no easy place to access the sponsorships for the other leagues.


Clubs

Well, I guess one final place to look is at the players themselves. Now, I’m not going to do this for all 20 teams. Even I have (something) of a life.

I thought what I might do, though, is look at the top and bottom clubs, and see what we get. For Liverpool, it looks like this.

For them, it looks like almost half (41%) are one-offs. These include some stars as well – namely, Salah (Egypt) and Darwin Nunez (Uruguay).

Nice hair, dude

The UK does come in 2nd, though, at 30%. The only star here, however, is Trent Alexander-Arnold.

Spain and the Netherlands both have 3 players (11% each), with Virgil van Dijk being the only real name. Brazil has two, with Alisson being the much better known one.

On the other hand, of the clubs lowest 6 in minutes played, 5 are Brits. The top 6 in minutes played are all foreigners.


Now let’s take a look at the bottom of the table – namely, Sheffield.

As you can see, we do have a majority of Brits. Though I can’t say I know any Blades, I do see that their top 10 in minutes played include 6 Brits. Among the others are a Yank, Brazilian, Dutchman, and Bosnian. On the other hand, the bottom 12 also includes 10 Brits.

It’s true!

Tuesday, December 26, 2023

NFLers from Elite Schools

I did this once with baseball. The idea was to see who were the best players from the brainiest, most elite schools out there. So, why not do football?

One thing before we get started... So, to get on this list, you’re going to have to have some alumni actually make the NFL. And that eliminates MIT, Johns Hopkins, CMU, Emory, and Cal Tech.

Let’s see how the rest shake out.

 

Swarthmore

Ned Wilcox, OB

I always thought Swarthmore was a girls school. Bad on me. It was, though, one of the first co-educational institutions out there. Another thing that makes it unique is there is no grad school.

It’s one of the Little Ivys, and has been voted the top liberal arts school in the country a number of times. Alumni include five Nobel Prize winners and 11 MacArthur Foundation Fellows.

At one time, it was a big football school, along with the other private schools in the Northeast. In the early 1920s, though, the program was geared back in favor of academics. And in 2000, football was eliminated altogether.

Swarthmore has only 5 NFL alumni. I picked Ned Wilcox as the best of the 5 based solely on the number of games he played in – 26 total, 17 as a starter. He played for 2 years, 1926 and 1927, for the Frankford Yellow Jackets.

And, yes, that is indeed an NFL team. In fact, they won the championship in 1926, one of the years Wilcox played with them. Frankford is a suburb of Philadelphia, and the team was basically the first representative of Philly in the NFL. They folded in 1931, just 2 years before the Eagles entered the league.

That’s our man, last row, 2nd from the right


Georgetown

Augie Lio, OL/K/P

With due respect to Notre Dame and Boston College, Georgetown is the most elite Catholic school out there. This Jesuit-run school in DC was founded in 1789, and lists 28 Rhodes Scholars, 429 Fulbright Scholars, 8 billionaires, 2 Supreme Court Justices, 2 Presidents, and 14 foreign heads of state among their alumni. It’s also produced more U.S. diplomats than any other school.

I think we’re all familiar with their basketball team. Though the football team dates back to 1874 and made an Orange Bowl appearance in 1941, it’s seen some pretty hard times as of late. In fact, the program was suspended from 1951 to 1970. Offering no scholarships, they’ve only had one winning season since 2000.

That said, they do have a fair amount of NFL alumni – 59, to be exact.  Augie Lio is probably the best. He played for 7 years, from 1941 to 1947. An offensive lineman, he was also a kicker/punter, and was selected to the Pro Bowl twice.

Lio became an award-winning sportswriter after hanging up his cleats.

Fun fact:  Augie’s full name was Agostine Salvatore.


Univ of Chicago

Solly Sherman, QB

Probably the best university not on either coast, the University of Chicago has turned out an incredible 99 Nobel laureates. It was also the site of the first nuclear reactor and is the home of radiocarbon dating.

Interestingly, it was also once known for its football team. Coached by Hall of Famer Amos Alonzo Stagg, the Maroons were a founding member of the Big 10, winning 7 conference titles. The team was disbanded in 1939, however, in an attempt to emphasize academics. It was reinstated 30 years later, in Div III.

A local boy, Solly Sherman played for the University of Chicago and also for the Chicago Bears. Though he was with the latter for only 2 seasons (leaving to fight in WWII), he made the Pro Bowl for one of those. Probably his lasting legacy, though, was teaching the then-novel T formation to Sid Luckman (see below), who used it power a HoF career.

Solly, whose real name was Saul, lived to the ripe old age of 93. And, yes, he was indeed Jewish.


Tufts

Mark Buben, NT/DE

There are so many good schools in Boston that I think Tufts often gets overlooked. Like Georgetown, it’s known in particular for its international relations program. Alumni & faculty include 3 Nobel Laureates, 12 Pulitzer winners, 5 governors, 2 senators, 4 Emmy winners, 3 Oscar winners, 17 Fulbright scholars & 4 Rhodes scholars. Specific alumni include Jamie Dimon (head of Citibank), Pierre Omidyar (founder of eBay) & politician Daniel Patrick Moynihan.

The football team has fielded a team consecutively since 1874, have played in over 1,000 games & was a participant in what may have been the first football game ever, beating Harvard 1-0. They play today in Div III.

They’ve had 9 players make the NFL, mostly back in the 1920s. Their best player, though, is recent grad Mark Buben. He played from 1979 to 1981, getting in 35 games, mostly with the New England Patriots.

Fun fact:  Tufts sports teams are known as the Jumbos after one of donor PT Barnum’s elephants.


Williams

Scott Perry, DB

Williams is another of the Little Ivys. Dating back to 1793, its alumni include a president (Garfield), 9 Pulitzer Prize winners, 14 billionaires, 71 members of Congress, 22 governors & 40 Rhodes scholars. It’s been ranked the #1 national liberal arts by USNWR since 2004.

The football program dates back to 1881. The now Div III team has a huge rivalry with Amherst, with their matchup being called the Biggest Little Game in America.

Wiliams has sent 6 players to the NFL. Their top alum, Scott Perry, played for 5 years, mostly with the Bengals. His best year was 1978, when he made 3 interceptions, 2 of which he returned for touchdowns.

A true preppy (his middle name is Endecott), he went to the prestigious Kent School before heading to Williams. After the NFL, he started a career teaching elementary school.

Fun fact:  Williams teams are know as Ephs (pronounced “eefs”), after founder Ephraim Williams. Their mascot is a purple cow.


Princeton

Dennis Norman, C/OT

Don’t need to say anything about Princeton here. It’s currently the #1 school on USNWR rankings.

Like the rest of the Ivys, Princeton was pretty big-time football-wise, oh, about 100 years ago. The Tigers are generally credited with being in the first college football game, getting beaten by Rutgers 6-4. Between 1869 and 1929, they won 22 national titles. Since the official start of the Ivy League (in 1956), the Tigers have won 11 conference titles.

With all that history, it’s not too surprising that Princeton has sent 37 players to the NFL. Dennis Norman rates the highest, having played for 6 years total (from 2003 to 2009), mostly at center & mostly with the Chargers. Post football, he got an MBA at Penn, worked for McKinsey & is currently Senior Director for Product Strategic Planning at Cox Communications.


Middlebury

Stephen Hauschka, K

Middlebury is yet another of the Little Ivys. Dating back to 1800, the Vermont school’s alumni include 10 governors & 25 congressmen. A classic liberal arts school, it hosts the prestigious Bread Loaf Writer’s Conference. It’s also pretty well-known for being one of the most liberal schools around.

The football team dates back to 1893. Unfortunately, the program was disbanded in 1925, only coming back to life in 1959. Since then, though, the Panthers have been pretty successful in DIII, notching 4 league championships since 2000 & being the first team in their league to go undefeated.

Only 3 alumni have made it to the NFL, with Stephen Hauschka the only modern-era player. He played for 13 years, accounting for over 1,100 points. He was All Pro in 2013 and a Pro Bowl alternate in 2016. His longest field goal was 58 yards, the league leader in 2014.

Originally a soccer/lacrosse player at Middlebury, Hauschka tried out for the football team after getting cut from the soccer team and with the encouragement of some friends. He had actually never kicked a football before his sophomore year. A cum laude grad, as well as the son of a doctor and dentist, he turned dental school down to join the NFL.


McGill

Laurent Duvernay-Tardif, OT

McGill, located in Montreal, is basically Canada’s Harvard. Their alumni include 12 Nobel laureates, 147 Rhodes Scholars, 18 billionaires & 3 prime ministers.

And, yes, they do play football there. In fact, the Redbirds (formerly, the politically incorrect Redmen), have been playing since 1874, getting shut out by Harvard in their first game. Over the years, they’ve won 10 national (i.e., Canadian) championships. Things have been a little rough as of late, though, with the team having winless seasons in 2011 and 2012. They’ve gone 1-7 each of the last 3 years.

Though quite a few Redbirds have played in the CFL, only 3 have made the NFL. Probably the best is Laurent Duvernay-Tardif, who played from 2015 to 2022, mostly with the Chiefs. All told, he played in 60 games, all but a handful as a starter.

It’s what he’s done off the field, though, that really makes him special. And that includes getting an MD, getting a Masters from Harvard (in public health), being made a knight (of the National Order of Quebec), and winning a number of awards, including SI’s Sportsperson of the Year. BTW, he is the son of a former cabinet minister.

“So, Doc, I have this thing on my toe …”


Amherst

Freddie Scott, WR

Another Little Ivy, Amherst dates to back to 1821. The Massachusetts-based school has produced 6 Nobel Prize winners, 20 Rhodes Scholars, a president (Coolidge), a Chief Justice & 3 Speakers of the House of Representatives. USNWR has ranked it the #1 liberal arts college 10 times.

The Mammoths played their first football game in 1877. The Div III school is part of the Little Three, which also includes Williams and Wesleyan. As mentioned under Williams, the rivalry between the two is one of the best in the country.

Five alumni have made the NFL, with only one of those dating back to the early days of the league. The best of the modern players is probably Freddie Scott, who played for 10 years as a pro. During that time, he caught 262 passes for 4,270 yards.

Scott turned down medical school to play in the NFL. He now works for the Arkansas Department of Education. The Arkansas native also has a son who played in the NFL as well (though he went to Penn State).

Fun fact:  The Mammoths were formerly known as the Lord Jeffs, after Lord Jeffrey Amherst, for whom the school is named. Unfortunately, he’s the same guy who supposedly gave the Indians smallpox-infected blankets. The name Mammoths comes from a world-renown specimen in the college’s museum.


Washington University

Shelby Jordan, OT

Poor Washington U. Easily confused with George Washington (in DC) and the University of Washington (in Seattle), it’s often (and officially) called Washington University in St Louis.

That said, it’s one the best schools in the Midwest, and definitely the best in the Mississippi Valley. It’s known as one of the Hidden Ivies, and has been ranked as high as 11th (WSJ) and 24th (USNWR) in the nation.

The football program goes back to 1887. Two coaches, Weeb Ewbank & Jimmy Conselman, have actually made it to Canton. Fourteen players (Bears) have made it to the NFL, though only 1 in the last 70 years.

And that man is Shelby Jordan. He played in the NFL for 11 years in the 70s and 80s, getting in over 150 games. Originally a night school student at Washington U, he was convinced by the coaching staff to try out, eventually making the College Football Hall of Fame.

After football, he led a non-profit providing affordable urban housing. He passed away just a couple of years ago, age 70.


Cornell

Seth Payne, NT/DT

Our second Ivy! Unlike the other Ivys, Cornell is different in that in dates back to only 1865 and is a land-grant school (one of only a handful of private ones). Alums & faculty include 62 Nobel laureates, 33 Rhodes Scholars, 10 current Fortune 500 CEOs & 35 billionaires.

The football program got going in 1887, though intramural play began in 1869. The team, known as Big Red, has won 4 national championships & 3 Ivy League ones (since 1956 for the latter).

35 Cornellians have made it to the pros, with Seth Payne ranking #1. He played for 10 years, with Jacksonville & Houston, getting in over 120 games. He now hosts a sports radio show in Houston.


Yale

Calvin Hill, RB

Another Ivy, and one I probably don’t need to say much more about.

Yale was pretty much it during the early days of college football. The team dates back to 1872, with the Elis notching 26 national championships between that year and 1909. Overall, the program produced 2 Heisman Trophy winners, 100 consensus All-Americans & 28 College Football Hall of Fame inductees (including Walter Camp, the “Father of American Football”).

They haven’t done too badly in the modern era either. Since 1956, when the Ivy League officially got started, they’ve won 18 league championships. Their biggest rivalry is against Harvard, with that matchup being called simply “The Game.”

Of Yale’s 33 NFL players, Calvin Hill ranks #1. The 1969 Rookie of the Year played for 7 seasons, making the Pro Bowl 4 times. He totaled not quite 9,000 total yards rushing, and had 2 seasons with over 1,000 yards.

After retirement, Hill has been quite active, speaking regularly, serving on numerous boards, & being active in a number of different organizations. You may have heard of his son Grant, who picked a different sport to excel in.

Father & son


Rice

Frank Ryan, QB

I guess you could call Rice the Harvard of Texas. They’re currently ranked #12 according to Forbes and #17 according to USNWR. Alumni include Joyce Carol Oates, Larry McMurtry, Howard Hughes & 14 astronauts.

The Owls have been playing football since 1912. They have 8 conference championships, 13 bowl game appearances & 93 NFLers to their credit.

Frank Ryan is the most impressive of those – both for his pro career and academics. He played in the NFL for 13 years, made 3 Pro Bowls, and passed for over 1,000 completions and 16,000 yards.

He also earned a PhD at his alma mater and taught math there as well. In addition, he was appointed to Rice’s Board of Governors and was made the VP of external affairs.

Outside of Rice, Frank taught at Yale and was the AD there as well. He was also a CEO, and is on the boards of several companies and organizations. Finally, he was the IS director for the House of Representatives, effectively bringing them into the computer age.

Fun fact:  Temple, Florida Atlantic & Bryn Mawr are also called the Owls.


Harvard

Matt Birk, C/OT

Well, certainly don’t need to say anything about these guys.

What’s surprising is how good the football program once was. It began in 1873, with the Crimson notching 12 national championships between 1874 and 1919. Between 1889 and 1928, they had more than 80 first-team All-Americans. Even in modern times, they’ve done fairly well, coming away with 18 Ivy League titles.

30 Harvard alums have gone to the NFL, with Matt Birk probably being the best. He played for 14 years, mostly with the Vikings. He got in an impressive 6 Pro Bowls and was the Walter Payton Man of the Year in 2011.

Since retirement, Birk founded a Catholic school and became involved in politics (including running – unsuccessfully – for lieutenant governor in Minnesota).

Before and after


Vanderbilt

Jay Cutler, QB

Vanderbilt has been called the Harvard of the South (though Duke might disagree). The school has produced 54 members of Congress, 18 ambassadors, 13 governors, 8 Nobel Prize laureates, 2 Vice Presidents & 2 Supreme Court Justices. Less than 7% of applicants get in.

Being in the SEC, Vandy has some pretty strong sports programs. Being the only private school in the conference, though, has made it really hard to shine.

Before joining the SEC (as a founding member), the Commodores had a much better record. Starting play in 1890, they accounted for 14 conference championships & 6 national ones. They’ve been in 9 bowl games overall.

They’ve also had over 100 players make the NFL (113, to be exact). QB Jay Cutler ranks as the best. The 1st-rounder played for 12 years, making the Pro Bowl once. He is still the Bears’ leader in passing yards, touchdowns, attempts, and completions.

Fun fact:  Cutler was born in Santa Claus, IN.


Brown

Fritz Pollard, RB

Our next Ivy, Brown dates back to 1764, one of only 9 US colleges chartered before the American Revolution. Alumni include 11 Nobel winners, 27 Pulitzer Prize winners, 21 billionaires, 1 Supreme Court Chief Justice, 4 U.S. Secretaries of State, over 100 members of the US Congress & 58 Rhodes Scholars.

The football team dates back to 1878. No national championships, but they did have an undefeated season in 1926. They’ve won 4 Ivy League championships.

The Bears have sent 51 players to the pros, with Fritz Pollard the Brownies only Hall of Famer. Pollard was something of the Jackie Robinson of football, integrating the NFL way back in 1920. In total, he played for 6 years, getting in one Pro Bowl. He was also a coach, leading Lincoln Univ for a couple of years, and in the NFL for another couple as well.

Fun fact:  Yours truly had an uncle who was a back-up QB for the Brownies in the 1940s.


Dartmouth

Ed Healey, OL/TE

And yet another Ivy! Dating back to 1769, Dartmouth started out as a school for Native Americans. Its list of notable alumni include 170 members of Congress, 24 U.S. governors, 23 billionaires, 8 Cabinet secretaries and 81 Rhodes Scholars. Located in the middle of absolute nowhere, it’s the most rustic of the Ivys.

Big Green football dates back to 1879, with the first intercollegiate game (against Amherst) coming in 1881. Things were a little rough in the early days, with the team once losing 53-0 to Yale and 112-0 to Harvard. Things started looking up, though, with the Indians going 105-20-10 from 1901 to 1916. They’ve won 21 Ivy League titles, the most of any team.

Dartmouth has sent 42 alum to the NFL, with one, Ed Healey, making it to Canton. He played for 9 years in the 1920s, getting in 88 games. He was a 4-time Pro Bowler.

Fun fact:  My dad tried out for the team, but didn’t make it. He still had the scars to show for it though.


Duke

Sonny Jurgensen, QB

The other Harvard of the South. Dating back to 1838, Duke can claim 15 Nobel laureates, 50 Rhodes Scholars, 14 living billionaires & 1 president (Nixon). They have a 6% acceptance rate.

Though mostly known as a basketball school, Duke has some football highights as well, including 18 conference championships & 15 bowl appearances.

They also produced 3 NFL Hall of Famers. Probably the best of them is Sonny Jurgensen. He played for 18 years, made the Pro Bowl 5 times & led the league in total offense 4 times.

After hanging up the cleats, Sonny was a long-time announcer for the Skins.

Fun fact:  Yours truly went to Duke. I had nothing to do with the football program whatsoever, apart from attending a few games.

Still goin’ strong at age 89


Columbia

Sid Luckman, QB

Another Ivy, Columbia dates back to 1754.  Alumni include 7 Founding Fathers, 4 presidents, 34 foreign heads of state, 10 States Supreme Court justices, 103 Nobel laureates, 53 living billionaires, 125 Pulitzer Prize winners & a partridge in a pear tree.

The football program got started in 1870, and was involved in some of the first football games ever. They claim 2 national titles & 1 Ivy League championship. That said, the Lions are really bad. They’ve got a 373–633–43 record all-time. They also set a record when they went winless in 47 games, from 1983 to 1988.

Nevertheless, they did produce one Hall of Famer (out of 41 NFLers). Sid Luckman, a local boy from Brooklyn, helmed the Bears for 12 seasons. He won 4 championships with them, was a 5-time Pro Bowler & MVP in 1943.

After hanging up his cleats, he worked for the Bears org, then got into business, eventually running his own company. And, yes, he is Jewish too.

Fun fact:  Jack Kerouac came to Columbia on a football scholarship, breaking his leg in the first game he played.


Penn

Chuck Bednarik, C/NT

The fourth-oldest college in the country, Penn was actually founded by Benjamin Franklin. Its alumni list is truly impressive, and includes 8 signers of the Declaration, 7 signers of the Constitution, 3 presidents, 3 Supreme Court justices, 32 senators, 163 members of the House, 19 cabinet secretaries, 46 governors, and 9 foreign heads of state. It’s known in particular for its business school, Wharton, often ranked tops in the country.

The football team dates back to 1876, and notched 7 national championships back in the early days. In modern times, they’ve done pretty good as well, sharing the record for most Ivy titles with Dartmouth. Altogether, they've played the most football games of any program out there, with a grand total of 1,413.

Quaker alumni include John Heisman and John Outland, the namesakes of two important college trophies. Another alum, Chuck Bednarik, is the source for a trophy I had never heard of before, given to the best college defensive player in the country.

Another NFL Hall of Famer, Bednarik was a #1 pick in the 1949 draft. He played for the hometown Eagles for 14 years, and was the last player to play both offense and defense (and missing only 3 games over his entire career to boot). He was a member of 2 championship teams and was in 8 Pro Bowls.

Unfortunately, he’s remembered mostly for some on-field controversy. The most famous of these unfortunate incidents is something called simply “The Hit.” In it, he laid out running back (& future announcer and fellow Hall of Famer) Frank Gifford. It was the celebration over the unconscious player, though, that got him in trouble.  

Bednarik’s nickname, “Concrete Charlie,” actually came from his job as a concrete salesman in the offseason – and not just his bone-jarring tackles.


Northwestern

Otto Graham, QB

Another excellent school not on either coast, Northwestern claims 33 Nobel Prize laureates, 45 Pulitzer Prize winners, 23 MacArthur Fellows, 20 Rhodes Scholars, 10 living billionaires & 2 U.S. Supreme Court justices.

The football program dates back to 1876, though they only played their first intercollegiate game in 1882. Northwestern was a founding member of the Big 10, where they continue to play to this day. Overall, they’ve won 10 conference (or division) titles, and have been in 16 bowl games.

The Wildcats have sent not quite 200 players to the NFL (they’re 2 short). They also have 2 players in Canton as well. One is John “Paddy” Driscoll, a back in the 1920s.

The other is Otto Graham. Playing for the Browns for 10 years in the 40s and 50s, Graham had them in the championship game every year, winning the title 7 times. He was a Pro Bowler or All Pro for all but 1 one of those 10 years, and was MVP no less than 3 times.

Interestingly, Graham was also on a championship NBA team, making him one of only two people who have titles in multiple major sports. He also coached in college and the NFL (as well as being a GM in the latter).

Fun fact:  The other guy with multiple championships is Gene Conley, a journeyman pitcher & a benchwarmer in the NBA.


Stanford

John Elway, QB

Though only founded in 1885, Stanford has produced 58 Nobel laureates, 29 Turing Award winners, 74 living billionaires, and 17 astronauts. They also claim 1 president (Hoover) and the current PM of the UK (Rishi Sunak). Known in particular for entrepreneurship, companies founded by alumni currently gross $2.7 trillion in annual revenue.

The current football program is probably the best of the schools listed here. Overall, they can claim 20 conference and division titles and have appeared in 30 bowl games.

They’ve also sent 274 players to the NFL, including 4 Hall of Famers. The best of them is probably John Elway. He played for the Broncos for 16 years. The 6-time Pro Bowler also won the MVP and Walter Payton awards as well. Finally, Elway helmed the Broncos to 2 Super Bowl championships, being named MVP in one.

After his playing days were over, Elway stayed with the Broncos in a number of different roles, including GM.  

Fun fact: Elway was also drafted by the New York Yankees, playing one season of minor league ball for them.