Monday, December 1, 2025

Crazy Soccer Nicknames

Now, some are just boring (Reds, Blues, Lions, Eagles). Some are a little more interesting (Clarets, Violets, Griffins, Gunners). And some are just crazy.

And it’s that last group that we’re interested in here. So, without further ado, here are my top 25, from least to most crazy.

NOTE: There are probably thousands of soccer teams in the world. I’m limiting this to just the 5 major European leagues – the EPL (England), Bundesliga (Germany), Ligue 1 (France), Serie A (Italy) & La Liga (Spain). Maybe I’ll be back with some more.


25.  Anchovies (Boquerones) – Malaga (La Liga)

An important part of the local cuisine


24.  Carnival Club (Karnevalsverein) – Mainz 05 (Bundesliga)

City is famous for its Mardi Gras celebration


23.  Violins (Violini) – Cremonese (Serie A)

City is known for violin-making


22.  Blockheads (Teste Quadre) – Reggiana (Serie A)

Traditional insult directed at people from Reggio


21.  Grandpa (Abuelo) – Huelva (La Liga)

Oldest team in Spain


20.  Tractor Boys – Ipswich (EPL)

Located in an agricultural part of the country


19.  Pompey – Portsmouth (EPL)

A nickname for the city (itself of uncertain origin)


18. The Old Lady (La Vecchia Signora) – Juventus (Serie A) 

Reflects the team’s elegance & tradition

NOTE:  Hertha (Bundesliga) is also known as the Old Lady (Die Alte Dame)


17.  The Old Fool (Il Vecchio Balordo) – Genoa (Serie A)

Coined by a journalist who loved the team but hated their “often frustrating and unpredictable decisions”


16.  The Scapular Club (Le Club au Scapulaire) – Bordeaux (Ligue 1)

From a scapular-like V on the club’s jersey (a scapular is a Catholic ornament worn around the neck)


15.  Throstles – West Bromwich Albion (EPL)

A songbird prevalent on the grounds where the team’s stadium was built, AKA the song thrush


14.  The Big Grass Snake (Il Biscione) – Inter Milan (Serie A)

From the coat of arms for the city


13.  Potato Beetles (Kartoffelkäfer) – Aachen (Bundelsiga)

Because of their black and yellow striped jerseys


12.  Little Dutch Girl (Olandesina) – Pistoiesa (Serie A)

From their orange jerseys (& with orange traditionally associated with the Netherlands)


11.  Tricky Trees – Nottingham Forest (EPL)

From the team name (which, in turn, comes from Sherwood Forest)


10.  Biscuitmen – Reading (EPL)

Because of the town’s association with biscuit (i.e., cookie) makers Huntley & Palmers


9.  Toffees / Toffeemen – Everton (EPL)

From a candy shop near the stadium


8.  Cucumber Growers (Pepineros) – Leganes (La Liga)

From an agricultural specialty of the area



7.  Moody Diva (Launische Diva) – Eintracht Frankfurt (Bundesliga)

From the 1990s, when “the club would comfortably defeat top teams only to surprisingly lose to lesser clubs”


6.  Wombles – Wimbledon (EPL)

Pointy-nosed, furry creatures from a series of children’s books (ultimately, from a mispronunciation of Wimbledon by the author’s daughter)


5.  Flying Donkeys (Mussi Volanti) – Chievo Verona (Serie A)

From rivals who said the team would reach Serie A when “donkeys could fly” (comp. “when pigs can fly”)



4.  Meringues (Merengues) – Real Madrid (La Liga)

From their white uniforms


3.  Mattress Makers (Colchoneros) – Atletico Madrid (La Liga)

Team’s red and white jerseys are similar to traditional Spanish mattresses

NOTE:  Cadiz (La Liga) also has the same nickname


2.  Yellow Submarine (El Submarino Amarillo) – Villarreal (La Liga)

From the colors of the uniforms, as well as fans’ playing the Beatles’ song 


1.  Clockwork Cheese (El Queso Mecanico) – Albacete Balompie (La Liga)

From a famous local product (Manchego) & from the team’s precise, technical play (comp. the Clockwork Orange, a nickname for the Dutch national team)



Sunday, November 2, 2025

MLB Funny Names - 2/2

Last time, I did the bottom 15. So, here are the top 15.


15.  SF – Hayden Birdsong, p

I mean, who’s named Hayden?

  • Fun fact:  has been a River Cat, Dust Devil & Flying Squirrel
  • Honorable mention:  Landon Roupp


14.  Houston – Framber Valdez, p

What the heck is a framber?

  • Fun fact:  nicknamed "La Grasa" (Spanish for "grease" or "fat," used in Dominican culture for a stylish person) 


13.  Atlanta – Jurrickson Profar, infield

I don’t know what’s weirder, the first or the last name

  • Fun fact:  Brothers Juremi & Jurdrick have also played professionally
  • Honorable mention:  Rolddy Munoz, Spencer Strider, Hurston Waldrep

 


12.  SD – Yu Darvish, p

Def: adj., “of, or relating to, darvs”

  • Fun fact:  Father is Iranian
  • Honorable mention:  Bradgley Rodriguez, Freddy Fermin


11.  NY Mets – Huascar Brazoban, p

Weird last name, meet weird first name

  • Fun fact:  spent 10 years in the minors before first call up
  • Honorable mention:  Brett Baty, Sterling Marte


10.  Philadelphia – Orion Kerkering, p

Ditto

  • Fun fact:  One quarter Japanese
  • Honorable mention:  Weston Wilson


9.  Cleveland – Jhonkensy Noel, of

Here’s hoping everyone calls him Johnny

  • Fun fact:  Nickname is “Big Christmas”
  • Honorable mention:  Tanner Bibbe, Jacob Junis


8.  Cincinnati - Yosver Zulueta, p

Did you say Vuvuzela?

  • Fun fact:  spell check wants me to change that first name to Oyster
  • Honorable mention:  Spencer Steer, Gavin Lux, Christian Encarnacion-Strand



7. Miami – Janson Junk, p

Known for his secondary pitches?

  • Fun fact:  in 5 years, has played for 4 teams
  • Honorable mention:  Valente Bellozo



6.  Detroit – Spencer Torkelson, 1b

Son of Torkel???

  • Fun fact:  Yup – given name means “Thor’s kettle” (?!?!)
  • Honorable mention:  Tarik Skubal, Jace Jung, Sawyer Gipson-Long


5.  LA Angels – Logan O’Hoppe, c

Irishman?

  • Fun fact:  nope, German
  • Honorable mention:  Brock Burke


4.  Colorado – Warming Bernabel, 1b

Out warming up in the bullpen, no doubt

  • Fun fact:  a portmanteau of his father's name, Warren, and his grandfather's, Ming
  • Honorable mention:  Mickey Moniak, Victor Vodnik


3.  Chicago White Sox – Wikelman Gonzalez, p

Huh! I always thought it was Winkelman

  • Fun fact:  Venezuelan


2.  Boston – Jhostynxon Garcia, of

Elbow on the ol’ keyboard?

  • Fun fact:  Nickname is “Password”


1.  StL - Lars Nootbar, of

Funny, he doesn’t look Scandinavian

  • Fun fact:  is half Japanese
  • Honorable mention:  Tink Hence, Yohel Pozo



Thursday, October 30, 2025

MLB Funny Names – 1/2

I’ve done funny name posts for football, basketball & soccer. Guess it’s about time I did my favorite sport – baseball – as well.

I’m going team by team, ranking them in increasing order of oddness.  Here are the bottom 15.  Top 15 next time.


30.  Seattle – Matt Brash, p

Short, sweet, punchy … I like it

  • Fun fact:  from Canada
  • Honorable mention:  Casey Legumina


29.  Milwaukee – Abner Uribe, p

Named after Mr. Doubleday, no doubt

  • Fun fact:  Middle name is Brismaury
  • Honorable mention:  Craig Yoho


28.  Cubs:  Luke Little, p

Love me some alliteration

  • Fun fact:  6’8”, 220 lbs. (!?!?)
  • Honorable mention:  Caleb Thielbar


27.  Baltimore – Coby Mayo, 1b

Sounds like makings for a sandwich 

  • “Fun” fact:  student at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School during the shooting there
  • Honorable mention:  Dylan Beavers


26.  Pittsburgh – Carmen Mlodzinski, p

I’d like to buy a vowel

  • Fun fact:  pronounced “muh-jin-ski” (?!?!)


25.  Tampa Bay – Joe Rock, p

GI Joe’s real name?

  • Fun fact:  has been a Gateman, YardGoat & Isotope
  • Honorable mention:  Yoniel Curet


24.  Texas – Kumar Rocker, p

Yes, he actually is half Indian

  • Fun fact:  Father played in NFL
  • Honorable mention:  Josh Jung, Rowdy Tellez


23.  LA Dodgers – Yoshinobu Yamamoto, p

8 syllables!

  • Fun fact:  3-time MVP and Triple Crown winner in Japan
  • Honorable mention:  Freddy Freeman, Max Muncy


22.  KC – Angel Zerpa, p

What the heck is a zerpa?

  • Fun fact:  Venezuelan
  • Honorable mention:  Drew Waters, Vinnie Pasquantino


21.  Athletics – Eduarniel Nunez, p

Couldn’t decide between Edward and Daniel?

  • Fun fact:  Dominican


20.  Arizona – Brandon Pfaadt, p

Do you have to be German to say this correctly?

  • Fun fact:  once allowed 8 runs on 6 hits and 2 hit batsmen without recording an out
  • Honorable mention:  Ketel Marte, Tim Tawa, Yilmer Diaz


19.  Toronto – Seranthony Dominguez, p

Arise, Seranthony!

  • Fun fact:  Middle name is Ambioris 
  • Honorable mention:  Isiah Kiner-Falefa, Myles Straw, Alejandro Kirk


18.  NY Yankees – Jorbit Vivas, 2b

And what the heck is a jorbit?

  • Fun fact:  spell check wants me to change it to Orbit
  • Honorable mention:  Cam Schlittler, Jazz Chisolm Jr



17.  Washington – Konnor Pilkington, p

That “k” should be a “c” – you know, “Pilcington”

  • Fun fact:  from Pascagoula (er, Paskagoula?)
  • Honorable mention:  MacKenzie Gore

Old school


16.  Minnesota – Kody Funderburk, p

Same deal – should be “Funderburc”

  • Fun fact:  old NC name; anglicization of Van Der Burg
  • Honorable mention:  Pierson Ohl


Next week – top 15