Schmollywood

Hollywood, Bollywood, Dollywood. Would you believe there’s also a Nollywood (in Nigeria), Ghollywood (Ghana), and Chollywood (Peru)? Well, here are some of you may not have heard of.

#12  Jollywood – This is where they make all the comedies. Duh.

#11  Pollywood – And this is where they make pirate movies. And that means, not just Pirates of the Caribbean, but also Terry and the Pirates, The Pirates of Penzance, Bikini Pirates, and Space Pirate Captain Harlock. Lots of great water rides.

#10  Follywood – This place specializes in expensive disasters, like Ishtar, Waterworld, Heaven’s Gate, and Battlefield Earth. The ticket prices are probably the highest on this list, yet the lines are the longest, and the rides often break down.

#9  Volleywood – Tennis movies, anyone? That said, there really aren’t a lot of these. In fact, The Bleacher Report names only one, Wimbledon, starring Kirsten Dunst. They also mention that Woody Allen also did something called Match Point (though it’s really not about tennis). Finally, there’s Nobody’s Perfect, which features a guy who “disguises himself as a female tennis player to get close to the girl of his dreams.” I’m picturing a bunch of studios in the rough vicinity of Forest Hills, NY.

You call that a follow-through?

#8  Colliewood – This is where they made all those Lassie movies. It’s situated in a “weather-beaten, modern day American farm” in some unknown, unnamed state. 

#7  Olliewood – This place is dedicated to Oliver Hardy, part of the famous Laurel & Hardy duo. Stanworld, dedicated to Hardy’s partner Stan Laurel, is just across the pond in England.

#6  Gollywood – Not unlike Dollywood, Gollywood is an amusement park dedicated to Gomer Pyle. It’s located in Mayberry, RFD. Be sure to spend some time with Otis in The County Jail or ride The Lube Rack with Gomer and Goober. And don’t forget to save room for some of Aunt Bee’s pies.

 
#5  Mollywood – Following in the same vein, Mollywood is dedicated to Brat Pack actress Molly Ringwold. There are rides dedicated to Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, and Something to Live for: The Alison Gertz Story.

#4  Sollywood – I’m afraid this one is a tad obscure, but it’s officially dedicated to actors named “Solly.” And that means Solly Moeng (Life, Above All), Solly Ward (Youth Takes a Fling), and Solly Duran (Cabin Fever 3: Patient Zero). 

The lovely Miss Duran

#3  Trolleywood – This where a Streetcar Named Desire was filmed. Yup, all 3 times. So, that’s means Brando and Vivien Leigh, but also Ann-Margaret, Treat Williams, and Beverly D’Angelo (from the 1984 TV movie), as well as Alec Baldwin, John Goodman, and Jessica Lange (from the 1995 TV movie). Heck, let’s throw in The Crowded Streetcar (1957) and A Street Car Named Bob (2015) too. You know this place has got to be in Nawlins somewhere, right?

#2  Wallywood – This is an exact replicate of the Wally World amusement park featured in National Lampoon’s Vacation. As such, it’s usually closed. Actually, it’s always closed.

Wally Wood was actually an American comics artist

#1  Brollywood – Umbrellas. Movies about umbrellas. I’m thinking The Umbrellas of Cherbourg. And, er, The Umbrellas of Cherbourg. And maybe … uh … The Umbrellas of Cherbourg? So, let’s put this one in, um, Cherbourg?

Actually, there are lots of umbrella movies out there – The Umbrella, Umbrellas, The Blue Umbrella, The Red Umbrella, The Umbrella Man, The Umbrella Woman, Umbrella Girl, Umbrella City, The Umbrella Coup, Yumrella, Umbrellacorn … Oddly, I’ve never heard of any of these.