MLB Funny Names - 2/2

Last time, I did the bottom 15. So, here are the top 15.

15.  SF – Hayden Birdsong, p

I mean, who’s named Hayden?

• Fun fact:  has been a River Cat, Dust Devil & Flying Squirrel
• Honorable mention:  Landon Roupp

14.  Houston – Framber Valdez, p

What the heck is a framber?

• Fun fact:  nicknamed "La Grasa" (Spanish for "grease" or "fat," used in Dominican culture for a stylish person) 

13.  Atlanta – Jurrickson Profar, infield

I don’t know what’s weirder, the first or the last name

• Fun fact:  Brothers Juremi & Jurdrick have also played professionally
• Honorable mention:  Rolddy Munoz, Spencer Strider, Hurston Waldrep

 

12.  SD – Yu Darvish, p

Def: adj., “of, or relating to, darvs”

• Fun fact:  Father is Iranian
• Honorable mention:  Bradgley Rodriguez, Freddy Fermin

11.  NY Mets – Huascar Brazoban, p

Weird last name, meet weird first name

• Fun fact:  spent 10 years in the minors before first call up
• Honorable mention:  Brett Baty, Sterling Marte

10.  Philadelphia – Orion Kerkering, p

Ditto

• Fun fact:  One quarter Japanese
• Honorable mention:  Weston Wilson

9.  Cleveland – Jhonkensy Noel, of

Here’s hoping everyone calls him Johnny

• Fun fact:  Nickname is “Big Christmas”
• Honorable mention:  Tanner Bibbe, Jacob Junis

8.  Cincinnati - Yosver Zulueta, p

Did you say Vuvuzela?

• Fun fact:  spell check wants me to change that first name to Oyster
• Honorable mention:  Spencer Steer, Gavin Lux, Christian Encarnacion-Strand

7. Miami – Janson Junk, p

Known for his secondary pitches?

• Fun fact:  in 5 years, has played for 4 teams
• Honorable mention:  Valente Bellozo

6.  Detroit – Spencer Torkelson, 1b

Son of Torkel???

• Fun fact:  Yup – given name means “Thor’s kettle” (?!?!)
• Honorable mention:  Tarik Skubal, Jace Jung, Sawyer Gipson-Long

5.  LA Angels – Logan O’Hoppe, c

Irishman?

• Fun fact:  nope, German
• Honorable mention:  Brock Burke

4.  Colorado – Warming Bernabel, 1b

Out warming up in the bullpen, no doubt

• Fun fact:  a portmanteau of his father's name, Warren, and his grandfather's, Ming
• Honorable mention:  Mickey Moniak, Victor Vodnik

3.  Chicago White Sox – Wikelman Gonzalez, p

Huh! I always thought it was Winkelman

• Fun fact:  Venezuelan

2.  Boston – Jhostynxon Garcia, of

Elbow on the ol’ keyboard?

• Fun fact:  Nickname is “Password”

1.  StL - Lars Nootbar, of

Funny, he doesn’t look Scandinavian

• Fun fact:  is half Japanese
• Honorable mention:  Tink Hence, Yohel Pozo

MLB Funny Names – 1/2

I’ve done funny name posts for football, basketball & soccer. Guess it’s about time I did my favorite sport – baseball – as well.

I’m going team by team, ranking them in increasing order of oddness.  Here are the bottom 15.  Top 15 next time.

30.  Seattle – Matt Brash, p

Short, sweet, punchy … I like it

• Fun fact:  from Canada
• Honorable mention:  Casey Legumina

29.  Milwaukee – Abner Uribe, p

Named after Mr. Doubleday, no doubt

• Fun fact:  Middle name is Brismaury
• Honorable mention:  Craig Yoho

28.  Cubs:  Luke Little, p

Love me some alliteration

• Fun fact:  6’8”, 220 lbs. (!?!?)
• Honorable mention:  Caleb Thielbar

27.  Baltimore – Coby Mayo, 1b

Sounds like makings for a sandwich 

• “Fun” fact:  student at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School during the shooting there
• Honorable mention:  Dylan Beavers

26.  Pittsburgh – Carmen Mlodzinski, p

I’d like to buy a vowel

• Fun fact:  pronounced “muh-jin-ski” (?!?!)

25.  Tampa Bay – Joe Rock, p

GI Joe’s real name?

• Fun fact:  has been a Gateman, YardGoat & Isotope
• Honorable mention:  Yoniel Curet

24.  Texas – Kumar Rocker, p

Yes, he actually is half Indian

• Fun fact:  Father played in NFL
• Honorable mention:  Josh Jung, Rowdy Tellez

23.  LA Dodgers – Yoshinobu Yamamoto, p

8 syllables!

• Fun fact:  3-time MVP and Triple Crown winner in Japan
• Honorable mention:  Freddy Freeman, Max Muncy

22.  KC – Angel Zerpa, p

What the heck is a zerpa?

• Fun fact:  Venezuelan
• Honorable mention:  Drew Waters, Vinnie Pasquantino

21.  Athletics – Eduarniel Nunez, p

Couldn’t decide between Edward and Daniel?

• Fun fact:  Dominican

20.  Arizona – Brandon Pfaadt, p

Do you have to be German to say this correctly?

• Fun fact:  once allowed 8 runs on 6 hits and 2 hit batsmen without recording an out
• Honorable mention:  Ketel Marte, Tim Tawa, Yilmer Diaz

19.  Toronto – Seranthony Dominguez, p

Arise, Seranthony!

• Fun fact:  Middle name is Ambioris 
• Honorable mention:  Isiah Kiner-Falefa, Myles Straw, Alejandro Kirk

18.  NY Yankees – Jorbit Vivas, 2b

And what the heck is a jorbit?

• Fun fact:  spell check wants me to change it to Orbit
• Honorable mention:  Cam Schlittler, Jazz Chisolm Jr

17.  Washington – Konnor Pilkington, p

That “k” should be a “c” – you know, “Pilcington”

• Fun fact:  from Pascagoula (er, Paskagoula?)
• Honorable mention:  MacKenzie Gore

Old school

16.  Minnesota – Kody Funderburk, p

Same deal – should be “Funderburc”

• Fun fact:  old NC name; anglicization of Van Der Burg
• Honorable mention:  Pierson Ohl

Next week – top 15 

Pittsburgh Pirates – What Might Have Been

 I fell in love with the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1971, when my dad was relocated there, and I was 11. The second game I saw of theirs was in the World Series, out in right field, watching Roberto Clemente have one of the best WS games ever.

Man, they were so good back then. Roberto, Willie Stargell, Maz, Steve Blass, Dave Parker, the Candy Man, Teke …

Of course, those All Stars were then followed by players like Dale Berra, Marvell Wynn, Steve Kemp, Mario Mendoza, Lee Tunnell, Jim Winn, Mike Brown & Jeff King …

Yeah, it’s been a little rough lately. And, yes, they did indeed finish in last place again this year.

Watching the other teams in the playoffs got me thinking about how many ex-Pirates there were – Gerrit Cole, Tyler Glasnow, Clay Holmes, David Bednar, Aroldis Chapman …

Which got me thinking … What would the Bucs’ lineup look like if it included ex-Bucs.

NOTES:

• I’m going to do a standard, 25-man fantasy roster
• Players actually on the 2025 Pirate roster are underlined

Catcher

Tyler Heineman, Toronto

• 2025 highlights:  1.5 WAR, 289 avg
• Career highlights:  6 years
• Who we got in return:  Vinny Capra (career:  -0.7 WAR, 133 avg, 1 HR)

Henry Davis

• 2025 highlights:  0.7 WAR, 7 HRs
• Career highlights:  3 years, 660 PAs, 15 HRs

1B

Spencer Horwitz

• 2025 highlights:  1.6 WAR, 272 avg
• Career highlights:  3 years, 731 PAs

2B

Jared Triolo

• 2025 highlights:  2.4 WAR, 11 SBs
• Career highlights:  3 years, 906 ABs, Gold Glove

SS

Oneil Cruz

• 2025 highlights:  38 SBs (led league), 20 HRs
• Career highlights:  5 years, 1553 PAs, 198 RBIs, 188 runs, 73 SBs

 

3B

Ke’Bryan Hayes, Cincinnati

• 2025 highlights:  1.5 WAR, 527 ABs, 12 SBs
• Career highlights:  6 years, 2542 PAs, 274 runs, 63 SBs, Gold Glove
• Who we got in return:  Sammy Stafura (minors), Taylor Rogers (2025:  age 34, 3-2)

Corner Infielder

Josh Bell, Washington

• 2025 highlights:  22 HRs, 63 RBIs
• Career highlights:  10 years, 193 HRs, 676 RBIs, All Star, Silver Slugger
• Who we got in return:  Eddy Yean (minors), Wil Crowe (career:  -0.4 WHIP, 10-21, 5.30 ERA, 1.862 WHIP)

Middle Infielder

Isiah Kiner-Falefa, Toronto

• 2025 highlights:  1.7 WAR, 431 ABs, 15 SBs
• Career highlights:  8 years, 15.9 WAR, 3109 PAs, 815 hits, 371 runs, 100 SBs, Gold Glove
• Who we got in return:  Charles McAdoo (minors)

OF

Bryan Reynolds

• 2025 highlights:  1.4 WAR, 587 ABs, 16 HRs, 73 RBIs
• Career highlights:  7 years, 21.1 WAR, 3560 ABs, 500 runs, 966 hits, All Star (2)
• NOTE:  Reynolds was part of the Andrew McCutcheon trade with SF.  So, we actually did get something out of that deal.

Andrew McCutchen

• 1995 highlights:  477 ABs, 13 HRs, 57 RBIs
• Career highlights:  17 years, 2266 hits, 1290 runs, 332 HRs, 1152 RBIs, 220 SBs, MVP, All Star (5), Gold Glove, Silver Slugger (4)

Starling Marte, NY Mets

• 2025 highlights:  1.0 WAR, 270 avg
• Career highlights:  14 years, 39.3 WAR, 285 avg, 1639 hits, 877 runs, 677 RBIs, 361 SBs, All Star (2), Gold Glove (2)
• Who we got in return:  Brennan Malone (minors), Liover Peguero (career:  4 years, -0.3 WAR, 227 average)

Adam Frazier

• 2025 highlights:  1.4 WAR, 419 ABs
• Career highlights:  10 years, 1200 games, 1015 hits, 511 runs, All Star

Michael Taylor, White Sox

• 2025 highlights:  295 ABs
• Career highlights:  12 years, 3480 ABs, 427 runs, 388 RBIs
• Who we got in return:  nada (released)

DH

Carlos Santana, Cubs

• 1995 highlights:  1.1 WAR, 415 ABs
• Career highlights:  39.3 WAR, 2204 games, 1880 hits, 335 HRs, 1107 runs, 1136 RBIs, All Star, Gold Glove, Silver Slugger
• Who’d we get in return:  Jhonny Severino (minors)

Oops – wrong one

SP

INJURED LIST

Gerrit Cole, Yankees 

• Career highlights:  12 years, 43.2 WAR, 153-80, 2251 Ks, 3.18 ERA, 1.089 WHIP, Cy Young, All Star [6])
• Who’d we get in return:  Colin Moran (Bucs: 4 years,  0.1 WAR, 269 average), Joe Musgrove (Bucs:  3 years, 18-26, 4.23 ERA), Michael Feliz (4 years, -0.4 WAR, 5.00 ERA), Jason Martin (Bucs: 3 years, -0.5 WAR, 200 average, 0 HRs)

Jared Jones

• 2024:  1.7 WAR, 132 Ks, 1.192 WHIP

Paul Skenes

• 2025 highlights:  7.6 WAR, 1.97 ERA (led league), 0.948 WHIP, All Star
• Career highlights:  2 years, 21-13, 13.5 WAR, 1.96 ERA, 0.948 WHIP, 386 Ks, RoY, All Star (2)

Tyler Glasnow, LA Dodgers

• 2025 highlights:  1.9 WAR, 3.19 ERA, 1.096 WHIP
• Career highlights:  10 years, 10.8 WAR, 1.147 WHIP, 952 Ks, All Star
• Who we got in return:  Chris Archer (Bucs:  2 years, 6-12, 4.92 ERA, 1.395 WHIP)
• NOTE:  Pirates also sent Austin Meadows (Rays:  4 years, 1360 PAs, 212 RBIs, All Star) & Shane Baz (Rays:  4 years, 166 IPs, 176 Ks, 1.227 WHIP)

Hey, where’s the hair?

Jameson Taillon, Cubs

• 2025 highlights:  1.3 WAR, 11-7, 1.057 WHIP
• Career highlights:  9 years, 15.4 WAR, 82-60, 1.193 WHIP, 1073 Ks
• Who we got in return:  Roansy Contreras (Bucs:  4 years, 9-12, 4.83 ERA, 1.418 WHIP), Canaan Smith-Njigba (Bucs:  2 years, -0.2 WAR, 37 ABs, 135 average, 0 HRs), Miguel Yajure (Bucs:  2 years, -1.4 WAR, 8.69 ERA, 1.805 WHIP), Maikol Escotto (minors)

Bailey Falter, KC

• 2025 highlights:  1.5 WAR, 1.182 WHIP
• Career highlights:  5 years, 466 IPs, 1.288 WHIP, 346 Ks
• Who we got in return:  Evan Sisk (Bucs:  12 IPs, 4.38 ERA), Callan Moss (minors)

Quinn Priester, Milwaukee

• 1995 highlights:  3.0 WAR, 13-3, 3.32 ERA, 1.239 WHIP, 201 Ks
• Career highlights:  3 years, 19-12
• Who’d we get in return:  Nick Yorke (minors)

RP

Aroldis Chapman, Boston

• 2025 highlights:  3.5 WAR, 32 saves, 1.17 ERA, 0.707 WHIP, All Star
• Career highlights:  24.3 WAR, 60-48, 367 saves, 2.52 ERA, 1.075 WHIP, 1331 Ks, All Star (8)
• Who we got in return:  zilch (free agent)

David Bednar, NY Yankees

• 2025 highlights:  2.2 WAR, 27 saves, 2.30 ERA, 1.037 WHIP
• Career highlights:  7 years, 111 saves, 3.01 ERA, 1.153 WHIP, All Star (2)
• Who we got in return:  Rafael Florez (2025: 0.0 WAR, 15 ABs, 200 average), Edgleen Perez (minors), Brian Sanchez (minors)

Clay Holmes, NY Mets

• 2025 highlights:  2.0 WAR, 12-8, 1.304 WHIP
• Career highlights:  8 years, 74 saves, 1.302 WHIP, All Star (2)
• Who we got in return:  Diego Castillo (career:  3 years, -0.5 WAR, 208 average), Hoy Park (minors)

Justin Wilson, Boston

• 2025 highlights:  4-1, 3.35 ERA
• Career highlights:  13 years, 7.5 WAR, 38-30, 1.310 WHIP, 618 Ks
• Who we got in return:  Francisco Cervelli (Bucs:  5 years, 8.8 WAR, 450 games, 179 runs, 169 RBIs)
• NOTE:  A good trade for once

Whoops, wrong guy

Dennis Santana

• 2025 highlights:  2.7 WAR, 16 saves, 2.18 ERA, 0.867 WHIP
• Career highlights:  8 years, 20 saves, 1.210 WHIP

Isaac Mattson

• 2025 highlights:  1.5 WAR, 2.45 ERA, 1.113 WHIP
• Career highlights:  3 years, 2.98 ERA, 1.221 WHIP