totally random garbage: Pittsburgh Pirates

I fell in love with the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1971, when my dad was relocated there, and I was 11. The second game I saw of theirs was in the World Series, out in right field, watching Roberto Clemente have one of the best WS games ever.

Man, they were so good back then. Roberto, Willie Stargell, Maz, Steve Blass, Dave Parker, the Candy Man, Teke …

Of course, those All Stars were then followed by players like Dale Berra, Marvell Wynn, Steve Kemp, Mario Mendoza, Lee Tunnell, Jim Winn, Mike Brown & Jeff King …

Yeah, it’s been a little rough lately. And, yes, they did indeed finish in last place again this year.

Watching the other teams in the playoffs got me thinking about how many ex-Pirates there were – Gerrit Cole, Tyler Glasnow, Clay Holmes, David Bednar, Aroldis Chapman …

Which got me thinking … What would the Bucs’ lineup look like if it included ex-Bucs.

NOTES:

I’m going to do a standard, 25-man fantasy roster
Players actually on the 2025 Pirate roster are underlined

Catcher

Tyler Heineman, Toronto

2025 highlights: 1.5 WAR, 289 avg
Career highlights: 6 years
Who we got in return: Vinny Capra (career: -0.7 WAR, 133 avg, 1 HR)

Henry Davis

2025 highlights: 0.7 WAR, 7 HRs
Career highlights: 3 years, 660 PAs, 15 HRs

Spencer Horwitz

2025 highlights: 1.6 WAR, 272 avg
Career highlights: 3 years, 731 PAs

Jared Triolo

2025 highlights: 2.4 WAR, 11 SBs
Career highlights: 3 years, 906 ABs, Gold Glove

Oneil Cruz

2025 highlights: 38 SBs (led league), 20 HRs
Career highlights: 5 years, 1553 PAs, 198 RBIs, 188 runs, 73 SBs

Ke’Bryan Hayes, Cincinnati

2025 highlights: 1.5 WAR, 527 ABs, 12 SBs
Career highlights: 6 years, 2542 PAs, 274 runs, 63 SBs, Gold Glove
Who we got in return: Sammy Stafura (minors), Taylor Rogers (2025: age 34, 3-2)

Corner Infielder

Josh Bell, Washington

2025 highlights: 22 HRs, 63 RBIs
Career highlights: 10 years, 193 HRs, 676 RBIs, All Star, Silver Slugger
Who we got in return: Eddy Yean (minors), Wil Crowe (career: -0.4 WHIP, 10-21, 5.30 ERA, 1.862 WHIP)

Middle Infielder

Isiah Kiner-Falefa, Toronto

2025 highlights: 1.7 WAR, 431 ABs, 15 SBs
Career highlights: 8 years, 15.9 WAR, 3109 PAs, 815 hits, 371 runs, 100 SBs, Gold Glove
Who we got in return: Charles McAdoo (minors)

Bryan Reynolds

2025 highlights: 1.4 WAR, 587 ABs, 16 HRs, 73 RBIs
Career highlights: 7 years, 21.1 WAR, 3560 ABs, 500 runs, 966 hits, All Star (2)

Andrew McCutchen

1995 highlights: 477 ABs, 13 HRs, 57 RBIs
Career highlights: 17 years, 2266 hits, 1290 runs, 332 HRs, 1152 RBIs, 220 SBs, MVP, All Star (5), Gold Glove, Silver Slugger (4)

Starling Marte, NY Mets

2025 highlights: 1.0 WAR, 270 avg
Career highlights: 14 years, 39.3 WAR, 285 avg, 1639 hits, 877 runs, 677 RBIs, 361 SBs, All Star (2), Gold Glove (2)
Who we got in return: Brennan Malone (minors), Liover Peguero (career: 4 years, -0.3 WAR, 227 average)

Adam Frazier

2025 highlights: 1.4 WAR, 419 ABs
Career highlights: 10 years, 1200 games, 1015 hits, 511 runs, All Star

Michael Taylor, White Sox

2025 highlights: 295 ABs,
Career highlights: 12 years, 3480 ABs, 427 runs, 388 RBIs
Who we got in return: nada (released)

Carlos Santana, Cubs

1995 highlights: 1.1 WAR, 415 ABs
Career highlights: 39.3 WAR, 2204 games, 1880 hits, 335 HRs, 1107 runs, 1136 RBIs, All Star, Gold Glove, Silver Slugger
Who’d we get in return: Jhonny Severino (minors)

Oops – wrong one

Injured List

Gerrit Cole, Yankees

Career highlights: 12 years, 43.2 WAR, 153-80, 2251 Ks, 3.18 ERA, 1.089 WHIP, Cy Young, All Star [6])
Who’d we get in return: Colin Moran (Bucs: 4 years, 0.1 WAR, 269 average), Joe Musgrove (Bucs: 3 years, 18-26, 4.23 ERA), Michael Feliz (4 years, -0.4 WAR, 5.00 ERA), Jason Martin (Bucs: 3 years, -0.5 WAR, 200 average, 0 HRs)

Jared Jones

2024: 1.7 WAR, 132 Ks, 1.192 WHIP

Paul Skenes

2025 highlights: 7.6 WAR, 1.97 ERA (led league), 0.948 WHIP, All Star
Career highlights: 2 years, 21-13, 13.5 WAR, 1.96 ERA, 0.948 WHIP, 386 Ks, RoY, All Star (2)

Tyler Glasnow, LA Dodgers

2025 highlights: 1.9 WAR, 3.19 ERA, 1.096 WHIP
Career highlights: 10 years, 10.8 WAR, 1.147 WHIP, 952 Ks, All Star
Who we got in return: Chris Archer (Bucs: 2 years, 6-12, 4.92 ERA, 1.395 WHIP)
NOTE: Pirates also sent Austin Meadows (Rays: 4 years, 1360 PAs, 212 RBIs, All Star) & Shane Baz (Rays: 4 years, 166 IPs, 176 Ks, 1.227 WHIP)

Hey, where’s the hair?

Jameson Taillon, Cubs

2025 highlights: 1.3 WAR, 11-7, 1.057 WHIP
Career highlights: 9 years, 15.4 WAR, 82-60, 1.193 WHIP, 1073 Ks
Who we got in return: Roansy Contreras (Bucs: 4 years, 9-12, 4.83 ERA, 1.418 WHIP), Canaan Smith-Njigba (Bucs: 2 years, -0.2 WAR, 37 ABs, 135 average, 0 HRs), Miguel Yajure (Bucs: 2 years, -1.4 WAR, 8.69 ERA, 1.805 WHIP), Maikol Escotto (minors)

Bailey Falter, KC

2025 highlights: 1.5 WAR, 1.182 WHIP
Career highlights: 5 years, 466 IPs, 1.288 WHIP, 346 Ks
Who we got in return: Evan Sisk (Bucs: 12 IPs, 4.38 ERA), Callan Moss (minors)

Quinn Priester, Milwaukee

1995 highlights: 3.0 WAR, 13-3, 3.32 ERA, 1.239 WHIP, 201 Ks
Career highlights: 3 years, 19-12
Who’d we get in return: Nick Yorke (minors)

Aroldis Chapman, Boston

2025 highlights: 3.5 WAR, 32 saves, 1.17 ERA, 0.707 WHIP, All Star
Career highlights: 24.3 WAR, 60-48, 367 saves, 2.52 ERA, 1.075 WHIP, 1331 Ks, All Star (8)
Who we got in return: zilch (free agent)

David Bednar, NY Yankees

2025 highlights: 2.2 WAR, 27 saves, 2.30 ERA, 1.037 WHIP
Career highlights: 7 years, 111 saves, 3.01 ERA, 1.153 WHIP, All Star (2)
Who we got in return: Rafael Florez (2025: 0.0 WAR, 15 ABs, 200 average), Edgleen Perez (minors), Brian Sanchez (minors)

Clay Holmes, NY Mets

2025 highlights: 2.0 WAR, 12-8, 1.304 WHIP
Career highlights: 8 years, 74 saves, 1.302 WHIP, All Star (2)
Who we got in return: Diego Castillo (career: 3 years, -0.5 WAR, 208 average), Hoy Park (minors)

Justin Wilson, Boston

2025 highlights: 4-1, 3.35 ERA
Career highlights: 13 years, 7.5 WAR, 38-30, 1.310 WHIP, 618 Ks
Who we got in return: Francisco Cervelli (Bucs: 5 years, 8.8 WAR, 450 games, 179 runs, 169 RBIs)
NOTE: A good trade for once