#10
Well, he was a male model. He was also:
- A park ranger
- An Eagle Scout (the only president who ever was)
- An NFL draftee
- The longest-lived chief executive of all time (age 93)
- The only president never elected to either the presidency or the vice presidency
Ladies and gentlemen, the 38th President of the United States ...
Gerald R Ford
#9
Hmm … Okay, so here are a couple of hints:
- We’re not sure which state he was actually born in
- He was a POW
- He killed a man in a duel
- His wife was still married to another man when he married her
- He was the target of the first attempted presidential assassination
- He didn’t have any children of his own, but did adopt two Native American boys
Give up? How about ...
Andrew Jackson
#8
Okay, it’s a modern recreation. That said, the guy definitely was a looker – tall, commanding, with a firm chin, and piercing blue eyes.
Of course, all that was a good 30-some years before he was actually president. I can guarantee you’re familiar with his more mature (and much more frumpy) later looks. Just look in your wallet!
Yup, it’s the Father of Our Country ...
George Washington
#7
That hair! Those eyes! That incredibly obscure, mid-19th-Century presidency. Need some more hints? This handsome fellow was:
- The original dark horse candidate, being elected on the 49th ballot of the Democratic convention
- Sworn in using a law book, and not the Bible
- The first president to have a Christmas tree in the White House
- The only president from New Hampshire
- Rather fond of alcohol
Have you guessed him yet? It’s ...
Franklin Pierce
#6
This fellow had what you’d have to call patrician good looks. And that’s only fitting, as he came from one of New York’s most prominent families. They came to New York in the early 1600s, and originally owned the land that the Empire State Building stands on.
This president also had a distant cousin who was president as well. The same family also takes credit for a First Lady (though she was actually married to this guy, which makes the family a little inbred too, I guess).
On a personal
note, this handsome-looking fellow was our longest-serving chief
executive, and got us through the Depression and World War II. He is, of
course ...
FDR
#5
I was going to take some points off for the lapels. But the minor afro does do an excellent job of hiding what would take away further points in later life – rather prominent auricular appendages.
His being our
only African-American president is probably a dead giveaway here.
So,
for those of you who have been living under a rock the past eight years
or so, let me present to you our current chief executive ...
Barack Obama
#4
Well, he was a movie star.
He was also a sportscaster, TV star, and president of the Screen Actors Guild. In addition, he was our first divorced president and the oldest president at the time of inauguration (age 69).
This popular president was a man of many nicknames, including Dutch, The Gipper, and The Great Communicator.
This one’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?
Ronald Reagan
#3
If you think about this one for awhile, you’ll probably get it. There’s quite a gap between this portrait and those from his presidency, but there are also some definite similarities as well.
Okay, here are some hints:
- That hair wouldn’t last long
- He’d keep that uniform for quite a long time
- He never held political office before becoming president
- His grandson would marry his vice president’s (and a future president’s) daughter
- He was elected to the World Golf Hall of Fame
You’ve probably guessed it by now. It’s Ike ...
Dwight D Eisenhower
#2
If you get this one, you are probably a presidential scholar yourself. One of our most obscure presidents, this guy also looked very different when he ascended office (think long, bushy beard). Here are some more hints:
- He was a Civil War general
- He was a teetotaler and served alcohol only once while in the White House
- He promised he would only serve one term (and kept that promise!)
- He lost the popular vote
- There was much controversy about the electoral vote as well
- He would be subsequently be called His Fraudulency
Give up? Would you believe it's ...
Rutherford B Hayes
#1
Like there was any contest. In addition to his boyish good looks and great hair, this one was also a war hero, Pulitzer-Prize-winning author, famous wit and bon vivant, and multi-millionaire. And, yes, he was very popular with the ladies as well. Yup, it’s JFK.
Interestingly,
Kennedy was one of those guys who definitely looked better with age.
Here he is, for example, as a young congressman:
Honorable Mention
- George W Bush
- George HW Bush
- Herbert Hoover (as a young man)
- Thomas Jefferson
- Chester Arthur
- Warren Harding
- James Knox Polk
- William McKinley (as a young man)
- US Grant
- Bill Clinton
How about some First Lady hotties? Some presidential notties? Some official presidential portraits - good, bad & ugly.
Miami
Another team that has managed to “keep the faith.” The only question with them has been whether to go with the aquamarine pants or the white ones. Really tough call. There is also a question of exactly what color aquamarine to go with. Personally, I definitely prefer the lighter one.
Best
Honorable Mention
Worst
2002-2004 (though the orange shirts are pretty bad too)
Minnesota
Purple’s not the best color. That said, these might be the best we can get here. And they date all the way back to 1961 to boot. Who woulda thunk that? Oh yeah, the horns are a classic as well.
Best
Worst
1964, 2007, 2010, 2013 (like a big can of grape soda)
New England
I have a real weakness for the classic uniform, but the current one is probably the best new one out there. The silver helmet is particularly nice.
Best
Honorable Mention
1962-1989 (though with some years featuring red away pants)
Worst
1993-1999 (not too bad – just too much like the Giants)
New Orleans
A pretty winning color combination, along with a great logo. The only question has been what shade of gold to go with (though they did have several years where they went with white instead – gasp!).
Best
Worst
2001, 2006-current (all the charm of a Hefty bag)
NY Giants
After 40 years in the wilderness, the Giants finally returned to their roots in 2005, resurrecting a classic uniform that dates back to the early ‘50s. Overall, a nice combination of red, white, and blue – especially for the away uniforms.
Best
1953-1965, 2000-current (more or less)
Worst
1966-1999 (not that bad – just kinda boring; lame logo as well)
NY Jets
Just a nice, clean look. Gotta have the white shoes for this to really work though. You know, I can’t see this uniform without thinking of Broadway Joe.
Best
Worst
2002-current (look like pajamas)
1978-1997 (the white helmet is so much better)
1964 (but not this white helmet)
Oakland
These guys own this color combination. Nobody else has even bothered to try. Even that brief sojourn in LA didn’t manage to change anything. Except for going to all-black socks in 1982, nothing – I repeat, nothing – has changed for 50-plus years.
Best
Worst
1960-1962 (I think I see why they don’t trot these out on throwback day)
Philadelphia
The basics – green and white, eagle wings – haven’t changed in 60 years but, man, have they rung the changes on those basics. White pants, silver pants, green pants. White shirts, green shirts, black shirts. White helmets, green helmets. White wings, green wings, silver wings.
Best
Worst
2003-2004 (worst color combo ever?)
Pittsburgh
Well, you sure can’t go wrong with the old Black and Gold. And that basic design goes all the way back to the ‘40s. Still don’t understand why they have the logo on only one side though.
Best
Worst
1941 (they had a dozen others to pick for throwback day –
why did they go with the jailbreak look?)
St. Louis
Like with several teams these days, we’ve got an older variant with brighter colors and a newer one with more muted hues. Everybody seems to be going with the latter, so I guess I’ll be my contrarian self and go with the former. And, yes, I love the ram horns on the sides of the helmets.
Best
Worst
San Diego
Compared to their older look, their current dark-and-white is just so boring. Honestly, there just isn’t enough sky blue in the NFL. Everyone, though, has navy blue.
Best
Worst
2003 (you know how I feel about his stuff, right?)
San Francisco
Another classic combo that this team just seems to own (kind of like their friends across the Bay). May possibly be my all-time favorite. Except for some subtle color changes, things really haven’t changed in 50 years.
Best
Worst
Seattle
I blame these guys. I don’t think there’s anyone else who’s been so into mono colors, garishness, and constant innovations. I also thought their original uniforms (which they kept for a good 25 years) were not that bad at all. Clean, classy but with some real visual interest as well. I thought they did an especially nice job with the somewhat odd color combo of blue and green. Finally, I also thought that design was very well anchored to the locale. Ah well, what do I know?
Best
Worst
2009 (a color suitable for Skittles, not football uniforms;
and combining it with dark blue isn’t going to help any)
Tampa Bay
Any change these guys made from their original look would have been an improvement. Yup, those orange and white numbers gets my vote for worst NFL uniform ever. Their new one, though, is pretty nice. Not a traditional look at all (is “pewter” just another way to say “a darker grey”?), but it still works pretty darn good.
Best
Worst
1976-1996 (like a big Dreamsicle)
Tennessee
Here’s a new team that reached back into the NFL’s past to come up with their look. I believe Tennessee was the first team to resurrect yokes. And the name harkens back to the early ‘60s, when the Jets went by that name. Finally, the logo’s pretty cool, and the dark/light blue color combo is very inventive.
Best
Worst
2006-2008 (you knew this was coming, right?)
Washington
The basics haven’t changed since the 1930s, but there sure have been a lot of variations. Which color “burgundy” should we use? Do we combine that with yellow or white? And don’t even get me started on the helmet …
Best
Worst
2008-2009 (am I that predictable?)
1959-1971 (though the middle one is not that bad)
