In Search Of ...

For eons, man has looked for answers to the great questions of life. What is its meaning? What is truth? How do you define beauty? How do I find inner peace? So, how come nobody just went to Google and searched on ‘em?

Yup, that’s what I did. I went to Google, and typed in those very words – “beauty,” “nirvana,” “inner peace,” “the meaning of life” ... Just to make things interesting, though, I did that on Google Images. Oh sure, there was lots of lame clip art and pretty obvious stock photography. But then there was this …

And just so you have some idea of where those strange images came from, I’m including some text I found explaining each one.


#15  Health

It's all Britney, bitch! Britney Spears sparked Photoshop rumors following her smokin' hot January/February 2015 Women's Health magazine cover and spread, but in a behind-the-scenes video posted by TMZ, it's clear the Queen of Pop really does look that good.  (US Magazine)


#14  Goodness

I stumbled upon this recipe on Pinterest and now my family loves these little No-Bake Balls of Goodness! For the original recipe from Smashed Peas and Carrots go to:  No-Bake Energy Bites. I’ve adjusted the recipe a bit. I have omitted coconut…not a lover of the stuff, and added 1/2 cup Nutella. Also, I used regular chocolate chips instead of mini.  (Cul de Sac Cool)


#13  Hope

Hope Dworaczyk
BIRTHPLACE: Port Lavaca, TX
MEASUREMENTS: 34C-23-35
HEIGHT: 5' 10"
WEIGHT: 126 lbs
AMBITIONS: Continue to host and produce in the fashion and entertainment fields.
TURN-ONS: Intelligence & confidence. Also the ability to make me laugh.
TURNOFFS: Narcissism, negativity and insecurity.
MY FIVE FAVORITE FUNNYMEN: Seth Rogan, Vince Vaughn, Chris Rock, Dane Cook and Will Ferrell.
SOMEONE I LOOK UP TO AND WHY: My nana for the wisdom she has shared and the inspiration she continues to be.
WHERE I AM LIKELY TO SETTLE DOWN: Los Angeles or New York. It's impossible to choose between the two!
IF I WEREN'T A MODEL, I WOULD: Work behind the lens as a photographer
(Playboy)


#12  Justice

This male model is the weekend man candy of your dreams. Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, please let me introduce you to Justice Joslin.  (BuzzFeed)


#11  Nirvana

Some of the greatest album cover photos were not exactly products of careful planning.

Take the now-infamous image of a naked underwater baby floating across the cover of Nirvana's ground-breaking "Nevermind" -- arguably among the most eye-catching album covers ever produced. It was "a fluke," said photographer Kirk Weddle.  (Huffington Post)


#10  Liberty

You'd probably think that a being over a hundred years old would wear a girl out, but not Lady Liberty. All those years and she's still looking as beautiful as ever and she's not showing any signs of stopping now. That's the sort of attitude every 4th of July celebration needs and you can bring that spirit to the party with this Womens Lady Liberty Costume. We're pretty sure if the forefathers were still around, seeing it would give them a nice and warm tingly "freedomy" feeling inside, or at least, that's how this costume makes us feel inside.  (Halloween Costumes)


#9  Inner Peace

This fresh herbal tea, made from the finest Egyptian chamomile, French lavender and lemon grasses, brews to a beautiful golden yellow with an aromatic, apple-like character. Inner Peace is a soothing, delicious experience for both the mind and body; and conveniently packaged in our exclusive Boca Tea Pyramids.  (Boca Java)


#8  Love

In celebration of her 49th birthday (on July 9th), here's a look at Courtney's fashion from back in the day -- we think she is fashion's original badass (sorry, Taylor Momsen). Between the tattered dresses, hot pants and bra-tops, these seven looks make it clear where punk style truly began.  (Huffington Post)


#7  Romance

The End of Romance, Antônio Diogo da Silva Parreiras (20 January 1860, Niterói - 17 October 1937, Niterói) … Brazilian painter, designer and illustrator.  (Wikipedia)


#6  God

Super Saiyan God (超サイヤ人ゴッド) is a Super Saiyan transformation that surpasses Super Saiyan 3. It appears in Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods and Dragon Ball Super, and it represents the other God in the Japanese title for the film: Dragon Ball Z: God and God (ドラゴンボールZ 神と神), as well as the reason for the plural "Gods" in the English title.  (Dragonball Wikia)


#5  Beauty

Ewww, the picture of that little girl all dolled up in make up and pink dress just creeps me out. It’s not what the kid wants, it’s more to the fact that those parents want it that way.  (Wordpress)


#4  Freedom

The Internet Defense League (IDL), a collection of organizations and individuals promoting Internet freedom across the world, wants to make its mid-July launch something special.

The plan? Collect $19,000 to fund at least five giant "catsignals" that will light up the night sky in cities around the world in a geeky nod toward Internet culture's love of cats and the simultaneous release of The Dark Knight Rises. (Mashable)


#3  Meaning of Life

Why are we here, what's it all about? The Monty Python-team is trying to sort out the most important question on Earth: what is the meaning of life? They do so by exploring the various stages of life, starting with birth. A doctor seems more interested in his equipment than in delivering the baby or caring for the mother, a Roman Catholic couple have quite a lot of children because 'every sperm is sacred'. In the growing and learning part of life, catholic schoolboys attend a rather strange church service and ditto sex education lesson. Onto war, where an officer's plan to attack is thwarted by his underlings wanting to celebrate his birthday and an officer's leg is bitten off by presumably an African tiger. At middle age a couple orders 'philosophy' at a restaurant, after which the film continues with live organ transplants. The autumn years are played in a restaurant, which, after being treated to the song 'Isn't It Awfully Nice to Have a Penis?' by an entertainer, sees the arrival.  (IMDb)


#2  Wisdom

Wisdom is a Hungarian power metal band from Budapest. Formed in the fall of 2001, the group is known for its practice of basing each song on a well-known quotation. Many of the band's lyrics and all of the album covers center on the story of an old man, a cult figure called Wiseman.  (Wikipedia)


#1  Truth

Ronnie Aaron "Ron" Killings (born January 19, 1972), better known by the ring name R-Truth, is an American professional wrestler and rapper. He is currently signed to WWE. Since working for WWE, he has been a one-time United States Champion and one time WWE Tag Team Champion with Kofi Kingston under his ring name, R-Truth, and a two time Hardcore Champion under the ring name K-Kwik. As R-Truth, he headlined five WWE pay-per-view events from 2010 to 2011, three times in world title contention. He has also worked for Total Nonstop Action Wrestling as K-Krush and later as Ron "The Truth" Killings, where he became the first African-American to win the NWA World Heavyweight Championship, a title he held on two occasions, in addition to becoming a two time NWA World Tag Team Champion and a one-time TNA World Tag Team Champion. (Wikipedia)

Rock Bands Named After Bad Movies

Rock bands come up with their names in some crazy ways. Lynrd Skynrd was named after several of the band member’s high school gym teacher. Cheap Trick came from a Ouija board. Led Zeppelin is a play on the phrase “That’ll go over like a lead balloon.” And I’m not even going to talk about Steely Dan.

For some reason, a number of bands have been named after classically bad, B-grade movies. I really don’t know why. Paean to pop culture? Mild transgressiveness? Anyway, here are the top 10.


#10  Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (The Wild One)

The Movie: This one is actually a classic, one of Brando’s big roles. At the same time, there’s no getting around it that it’s also a biker flick. In fact, it was the first of its kind. Yup, such gems as The Mini-Skirt Mob, Naked Angels, and Werewolves on Wheels can all trace themselves back to this baby.

NOTE: The Black Rebel Motorcycle Club was the name of Brando’s gang.

The Band: I like indie groups, so this is actually one I’ve listened to and enjoyed. Heck, I might have even owned one of their CDs at one time or other. My musical vocabulary is atrocious, so let me just list the various genres Wikipedia gives them: noise rock, neo-psychedelia, garage rock, shoe-gazing, noise pop. They’re from San Fran and formed in 1998.

    

#9  Duran Duran (Barbarella)

The Movie:  Another classic that happens to have more than its fair share of B movie qualities. On the classic side, we’ve got Jane Fonda and director (and then boyfriend) Roger Vadim, as well as all sorts of Pop Art pretensions and breaking of sexual and language taboos. On the B side, we’ve got an indecipherable plot, go-go boots, vampires, big hair, and tons and tons of pure camp.

NOTE:  The band name comes from one of the movie’s characters, the evil inventor Dr. Durand-Durand.

The Band:  Whoa boy, do these guys bring back memories. The hair, the music videos, the outfits, the synthesizers … Officially, they were part of the New Romantic scene, a glam-inspired reaction to the excesses of Punk. Compared to some of their compatriots – Boy George and Adam Ant, say – Duran Duran were not bad at all. I still have a CD of their greatest hits.

NOTE:  Barbarella’s was the name of the venue where the band first appeared.

    

#8  They Might Be Giants

The Movie:  This one’s got some pretty heavy hitters in it – George C. Scott, Joanne Woodward – but the whole thing sounds so winsome I can see why it didn’t exactly win any Oscars. Here’s the description from some dude on IMDb:

They Might be Giants chronicles the adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in modern-day New York City. The fact that Sherlock Holmes is a psychotic paranoid and Dr. Watson is a female psychiatrist fascinated by his case is almost beside the point. Dr. Watson follows Holmes across Manhattan and is, against her better judgment, drawn into the master detective's world of intrigue and danger. This is a sweet, goofy and fairly romantic film that asks the questions "Whose reality is right...and does it really matter?"

The NY Times calls it “an almost drunkenly sentimental comedy” and a “mushy movie.”

The title, by the way, is from Don Quixote (the giants were really windmills).

The Band:  I have a thing for bands with a sense of humor – Frank Zappa, Weezer, a local band called Southern Culture on the Skids, Alvin and the Chipmunks ... Well, when it comes to humor, I’m not sure anybody’s got anything on this quirky duo. They’ve done songs with titles like “Boat of Car,” “Chess Piece Face,” and “Youth Culture Killed my Dog” (and those are just off their first album), and have written about mammals, Istanbul, paleontology, James K. Polk, and the three states of matter.

    

#7  Black Sabbath

The Movie:  This one’s a pretty straightforward B, but has also won its fair share of accolades. The director, Mario Bava, is known for fairly pedestrian horror stories that are nonetheless visually stunning and very atmospheric.

Black Sabbath is actually a set of three separate tales. One is about a corpse-dresser in 19th Century Russia who makes a fateful decision, a second deals with a woman terrorized in her apartment by a former boyfriend, and the third features an Eastern European family threatened by vampires (and is based on a story by Tolstoy).

The Band:  I’m sure you’ve heard of these guys. Ozzy Osbourne? "Iron Man"? Biting the heads off of bats?

Not exactly my cup of tea, but the boys did:

• Sell 70 million records
• Win 2 Grammies
• Get elected the “Greatest Heavy Metal Band” of all time by MTV
• All get knighted

Okay, I made that last one up.

    

#6  Them

The Movie:  Alright, now we’re talking. The description for this thing from IMDb kinda says it all:

The earliest atomic tests in New Mexico cause common ants to mutate into giant man-eating monsters that threaten civilization.

The Band:  Now, this one is a tad obscure. Them was actually Van Morrison’s first band. He was only with them for a year. In that time, though, they managed to come out with such hits as “Here Comes the Night” and the classic “Gloria.”

Van Morrison? “Brown-Eyed Girl”? Moondance? Six Grammies? Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Real, honest-to-goodness knighthood? I think you may have heard of him.

    

#5  10,000 [2,000] Maniacs

The Movie:  Does the name Herschel Gordon Lewis mean anything to you? A true B movie master, HGL has been called the “Godfather of Gore” and is credited with creating the slasher genre. He’s responsible for such gems as The Scum of the Earth, She-Devils on Wheels, and Miss Nymphet’s Zap-In.

The movie in question? Once again, here’s what another random guy on IMDb has to say:

Six people are lured into a small Deep South town for a Centennial celebration where the residents proceed to kill them one by one as revenge for the town's destruction during the Civil War.

But it’s the taglines that really do this one justice:

• A town of madmen crazed for carnage!
• Gruesomely Stained In Blood Color!
• An Entire Town Bathed In Pulsing Human Blood! Madmen Crazed For Carnage!
• Brutal... Evil... Ghastly Beyond Belief!
• The Most Diabolical Device Ever Contrived... Designed Solely for Carnage by a Town of Madmen Crazed with BLOOD LUST!

The Band:  Yes, they did change things around a bit with the name, but it’s still pretty obvious where they got it from. This group is called alt-rock, but seeing as they formed way back in 1981, I think they’re getting a little long in the tooth for that particular designation.

They’re probably best known for their lead singer, Natalie Merchant. She actually ditched them for a solo career in 1993. The band, though, still plays on.

    

#4  My Bloody Valentine

The Movie:  A typical slasher flick with lots of gore, a crazed killer escaped from the local loony bin, and naughty teens getting punished … and  that just so happens to have been made in Canada. This one is actually one of the goriest films ever made, with an X rating, tons of trouble with censors, and an uncut version that still hasn’t seen the light of day. Though it’s a cult favorite, made $6,000,000 (in 1981), and is Quentin Tarantino’s favorite slasher movie, it garners a critic rating of only 4.7 on IMDb. In other words, it’s a B.

The Band:  MBV was an alt-rock band from Ireland that was formed all the way back in 1983 (can that be?). They broke up in 1997, but gained enormous critical attention (esp. for their album Loveless) in the time they were together. The band has been cited as an influence by The Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, Trent Reznor, and even U2. They were arguably the first shoegazer band, with an interesting “integration of discordant noise with ethereal melody” (Wikipedia). Interestingly, they had two women in the four-person band.

    

#3  Wu-Tang Clan

The Movie: I’m not that knowledgeable about kung fu flicks, so I’ll let IMDb handle this one:

An intriguing variation on the Shaolin theme, starting with the familiar account of the burning of Shaolin Temple and the repression of Shaolin kung fu by the Manchurian-backed Qing rulers. Here the focus is on a former Shaolin man, Marshal Kao (Ti Lung), who takes his former classmates prisoner and, instead of executing them, proposes to his Qing commander that he torture them and break their spirits until they're willing to fight on behalf of the Qings. The ‘torture' comes to look increasingly like strenuous kung fu training with Kao putting the prisoners through their paces. The Qing governor (Michael Chan Wai Man) and his aides become suspicious of Kao's motives, although the beautiful Princess Shao Lung (Shih Szu) develops her own ideas about him. Interspersed within the story are flashbacks to Kao's training at Shaolin.

I’m also pretty sure there’s no shortage of poor dubbing, crazy plots, 10-minute fight scenes, overacting, and all that other good kung fu stuff.

The Band:  I know even less about hip-hop, but I do understand that these guys are pretty influential. They formed in NYC in the early 1990s. Members over the years have included:

• Raekwon
• RZA
• GZA
• Cappadonna
• Method Man
• U-God
• Inspectah Deck
• Masta Killah
• Ghostface Killah
• Ol’ Dirty Bastard

    

#2  Question Mark and the Mysterians

The Movie:  Man, I gotta watch this one! We’ve got space aliens, bad dubbing, flying saucers, giant robots doing their best Godzilla impressions … The wonderful taglines say it all:

• Space monsters invade the Earth!
• Join humankind's most treacherous battle for survival!
• From behind the moon they come...to invade the Earth! Abduct its women! Level its cities!
• The greatest science-fiction picture ever conceived by the mind of man!

The Band:  Something of a 1-hit wonder (“96 Steps”), this garage band from Michigan was active in the 60s. Their lead singer, Rudy Martinez (they were all Latinos, originally from Texas), actually changed his name to “?”. 

Classicbands.com tells us how it all began:

Saginaw, Michigan, 1962... an out-of-work bass player sits at home, watching a three year old Japanese sci-fi movie on television. It's about invaders who try to take over Earth after their own planet has been destroyed. The title of the movie is The Mysterians. And thus a band was born in the mind of Larry Borjas.

    

#1  Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airman

The Movie:  This one was actually compiled from a 12-film serial called King of the Rocket Men. Here’s how IMDb describes it:

Young member of scientific group uses new rocket-powered flying suit to thwart shadowy saboteur known only as "Dr. Vulcan".

It features such leading lights as Tristram Coffin, Dale Van Sickel, House Peters Jr., and I. Stanford Jolly.

NOTE: There is no Commander Cody in the movie. It’s simply called The Lost Planet Airmen.

The Band:  Another Michigan band from the 60s, these guys were also something of a 1-hit wonder as well (a cover of the 50s song “Hot Rod Lincoln”). They had considerable staying power, though, cutting 21 albums in one form of the band or other. Their music is best described as country rock, though more on the loud, raucous, honky-tonk side than something light and laid-back like the Eagles or Poco. They were also a big jam band.

By the way, Commander Cody was actually George Frayne IV. An artist, he would later teach at Michigan (he has work in The Museum of Modern Art, in New York). Another member of the band, John Tichy, would get his PhD in engineering, and is now the head of the department at Rensselaer. Interesting guys.

    

Honorable Mention

• Siouxsie and the Banshees (from Vincent Price vehicle Cry of the Banshee)
• Mudhoney (a Russ Meyer flick)
• Motorpyscho (another Russ Meyer flick)
• White Zombie (starring Bela Lugosi)
• Faster Pussycat (from the Russ Meyer film Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!)
• Phantom Planet (Richard Kiel's - Jaws - first movie credit)

Naming Oliver Twist (Today)

Oliver Twist, the orphan in Dickens’ eponymous novel, famously got his name from an alphabetical list kept by Mr. Bumble, the “beadle,” who ran the orphanage.

I’ll bet you don’t know, though, the names of the orphans before and after Oliver. Those poor things were christened Swubble and Unwin.

I’ve always wondered how a system like this would work if it involved real names, and not the fanciful things that Dickens loved. So, here you are …

Now, what I’ve done is simply take the most popular first names and surnames (in the US of today) and put them together, starting with A and ending with Z. To avoid alliteration, though, I’ve offset the first and last names by one letter. 

Oh, there are also simply no decent boy names that begin with U and Y or girl names that begin with X. So, I’ve eliminated those, along with all surnames beginning with X.

Boys First	Boys Last	Girls First	Girls Last
Andrew	Brown	Abigail	Baker
Brandon	Clark	Brianna	Campbell
Christopher	Davis	Chloe	Daniels
Daniel	Evans	Destiny	Edwards
Francis	Green	Faith	Gray
Gabriel	Harris	Grace	Hall
Hunter	Ingram	Hannah	Irwin
Isaiah	Johnson	Isabella	Jackson
Jacob	King	Jessica	Kelly
Kevin	Lee	Kayla	Lewis
Logan	Miller	Loren	Moore
Michael	Nelson	Madison	Nichols
Nicholas	Owen	Natalie	O'Brien
Owen	Phillips	Olivia	Parker
Patrick	Quinn	Paige	Quick
Quentin	Robinson	Quinn	Roberts
Ryan	Smith	Rachel	Stewart
Samuel	Taylor	Samantha	Thomas
Thomas	Underwood	Taylor	Upton
Victor	Williams	Uma	Vaughn
William	Young	Victoria	Wilson
Xavier	Adams	Whitney	Yates
Zachary	Bell	Yasmin	Zimmerman

So I guess that means that Oliver would probably have been Samuel Taylor, or perhaps Owen Phillips.  Messrs. Swubble and Unwin? Ryan Smith and Thomas Underwood. Much better, don’t you think?

 

Please sir, may I have a better name?

More name stuff:

• What's in a presidential name?
• You named your child what?
• North Carolina surnames
• Why so many Smiths?

Best Sports Franchise Ever

I was watching baseball the other night when announcer John Kruk made the claim that the Pittsburgh Steelers were the “best sports franchise ever.” I sort of had to wonder what his exact qualifications were for making that statement – beyond being a big fan of theirs, that is.

Well, I certainly couldn’t let that statement stand on its own without doing a little research, as well as making it a little more quantitative. So, here’s what I did:

1. Looked at the world’s top team spectator sports (sorry, rugby)
2. Identified the top leagues around the world (my apologies, Canadian football)
3. Identified the team that had won that league the most time

And here’s what came up …


#5  Real Madrid – 10 (Soccer)

This was a tough one, as there are several leagues that are pretty good – the English Premier League, La Liga (in Spain), Serie A (in Italy), and the Bundesliga (in Germany). At least since 1955, though, each of these leagues (along with the rest of Europe) have participated in a championship to determine which team was the best. And that team that has done that the most times is Real Madrid, at 10. 

Honorable mention goes to Milan, with 7. BTW, if we go league by league, we get the following:

• Real Madrid (La Liga) – 31 
• Juventus (Serie A) – 30
• Bayern Munich (Bundesliga) – 24
• Manchester United (EPL) – 20 

#4  Green Bay Packers – 13 (Football)

Football championships can be traced all the way back to 1920. Up until 1933, though, all you had to do was finish first in the league. After that, there was a championship game, then (in 1966) the Super Bowl.

Put ‘em all together, and you get the Packers, in little Green Bay, WI. They’ve finished first no less than 13 times. The next closest are the Chicago Bear (with 9) and the New York Giants (with 8). 

The Steelers? They’ve done it 6 times. Interestingly, all of those just so happened to be Super Bowl victories (and they do, in fact, lead all other teams in those). Hmm, maybe I could have agreed with Krukkie if he had just said the “best modern American football franchise ever.”


#3  Boston Celtics – 17 (basketball)

Basketball championships date back to the 1940s. And Boston has been racking them up since 1957, winning 17 in total. In fact, they won 8 in a row back in the ‘60s and late ‘50s (and 11 of 13 from 1957 through 1969). The Minneapolis / Los Angeles Lakers are right on their heels, though, with 16. 

You might be wondering where the Chicago Bulls fall in all this. They’re actually 3rd, but with only 6. And all 6 of those came during the 1990s. In other words, Michael Jordan does not a franchise make.


#2  Montreal Canadiens – 20 (hockey)

Hockey championships actually go all the way back to 1893. It was all a little confusing, though, until the NHL formed, in 1927. Since then, the Montreal Canadiens have won 20 times. The fact that they haven’t won anything since 1993 tells you how dominant they were up to that point (and how far the great have fallen ... though they have been doing better lately).

Runners up? Only the Toronto Maple Leafs (with 13) and Detroit Red Wings (with 10) are in double figures.


#1  New York Yankees – 27 (baseball)

Really, John. You should know something like this. I think everyone knows this one.

Bet you didn’t know who’s second though. It’s the St. Louis Cardinals, with 11. No one else is in double figures. 

Of course, none of these totals count championships from before the advent of the World Series. Though sporadic, championship titles actually go all the way back to 1876. If we include these, 3 more teams get bumped up into double figures:

• Braves – 14
• Giants – 11
• A’s – 10

As the Yankees didn’t get going until the 20th Century (and were woeful until they got Babe Ruth), their numbers are not affected. They've still won almost twice as many as the next best team.

Tough Act to Follow

Poor Didi Gregorius. Not only is he taking over for a future, first-round Hall of Famer (Derek Jeter). He’s also taking over for someone who set a record for holding the same position for the same club for the most years (20). Finally, he’s doing that for the most storied baseball team on the planet (the New York Yankees).

"Didi," meet Captain Clutch

He’s not, however, the first player to ever have done something like that. I mean, off the top of my head, I can think of Mantle taking over for DiMaggio and – because I’m a Pirate fan – Richie Zisk taking over for Clemente and Dave Cash taking over for Maz. And, when you think about it, someone had to take over for Gehrig, and Schmidt, and Banks – though who that might actually be isn’t right on the tip of my tongue.

Who else is out there?

Methodology

So, here’s what I did:

1. I started out with a list of all the Hall of Famers
2. I narrowed down the list to players who retired with a team they had played with for at least 10 years.
3. I further narrowed down the list to players who played at the same position for at least their final 10 years
4. Finally, I made sure everyone was a starter in all those years

Of course, that does eliminate quite a few guys. At the same time, though, who thinks of Ty Cobb as an A, or Babe Ruth as a Brave, or Robin Yount as a center fielder, or Cal Ripken as a third baseman? Did you realize that Eddie Murray played with 4 other teams after the Orioles? That the one and only year Al Kaline didn’t start in right field for his 22 years with the Tigers was his last one, where he got 558 at bats, all as a DH?

Cobb as A

Unfortunately, this also eliminates almost all pitchers. When a Sandy Koufax or a Walter Johnson retires, it’s not always obvious who’s the team’s new number one (though maybe I could do a separate post just for these guys). And closers? Jeez, I don’t think any of them ever stayed with the same club for 10 years.

Results

All of those hefty requirements resulted in a list of 20 players:

Old Guy	Team	Position	New Guy
Cap Anson	White Sox	1B	Bill Everitt
Ernie Bank	Cubs	1B	Jim Hickman
Yogi Berra	Yankees	C	Elston Howard
Lou Brock	Cards	LF	Bobby Bonds
Roy Campanella	Dodgers	C	John Roseboro
Roberto Clemente	Pirates	RF	Rihie Zisk
Bill Dickey	Yankees	C	Aaron Robinson
Joe DiMaggio	Yankees	CF	Mickey Mantle
Carlton Fisk	White Sox	C	Karkovice
Frankie Frisch	Cards	2B	Stu Martin
Lou Gehrig	Yankees	1B	Babe Dahlgren
Tony Gywnn	Tigers	RF	Bubba Trammel
Barry Larkin	Reds	SS	Felipe Lopez
Bill Mazeroski	Pirates	2B	Dave Cash
Bid McPhee	Reds	2B	Joe Quinn
Ryne Sandberg	Cubs	2B	Mickey Morandini
Ozzie Smith	Cards	SS	Royce Clayton
Bill Terry	Giants	1B	Gil Mancuso
Pie Traynor	Pirates	3B	Lee Handley
Ted Williams	Red Sox	LF	Carl Yastrzemski

"And no anchovies …”

Well, that’s all well and good.  What I want to know, though, is who made out? Who was a disaster? What team didn’t miss a beat? What team created a hole on the field that didn’t get filled for another 20 years?

A good way to look at that is WAR, wins above replacement – pretty much the standard way these days to evaluate players’ all-around performance. I used WAR in two ways:

• Comparing the 2 players WARs from year-to-year - i.e., the old guy's last year and the new kid's first
• Comparing their yearly WAR averages over their whole careers

The first one gives you a good straight-up number. The second one, though, compensates for any single-year effects – the old guy’s having a particularly poor last year, the rookie’s a little wet behind the ears, etc.

Winners

It may be hard to believe, but some teams actually saw an improvement when they went with the new guy. As a matter of fact, this situation actually describes two-thirds of the sample. That’s not too surprising, though, when you simply consider the age difference between the two. The best (or should I say “worst”?) examples of these include Berra to Howard (4.2 difference in WAR) and Mazeroski to Cash (4.1).

Now, of course that’s the year-to-year view. It’s a very different story when you look at career WAR. In that case, there are only two Hall of Famers who had lower total WARs that their replacements. And they are Brock to Bonds (1.74) and DiMaggio to Mantle (0.09)

That last number brings up another possibility to measure success, the least amount of change from year to year. Year-to-year, we’ve got three under 1.00 – Gehrig to Dahlgren (-0.1), Terry to Mancuso (-0.5), and Gwynn to Trammel (-0.8). Career-wise, we’ve got the DiMaggio-Mantle 0.09 mentioned above, but the even more equitable Mazeroski to Cash difference of 0.01 as well.

 

Yankee Clipper, meet Commerce Comet

Of course, this won’t mean all that much if you’re going from one mediocre performance to another. What I’m really interested is are any transitions that went from one all-time great to another all-time great. And a good way to get a bead on that is to simply total the two players’ WARs. Year-to-year that gives us Dimaggio-Mantle (9.4), Clemente-Zisk (7.1), and Berra-Howard (6.8). Career? Don’t be too surprised that DiMaggio-Mantle again lead the pack (12.2). Runners up include Clemente-Zisk, at 7.1 (and, yes, that’s mostly Roberto), and Schmidt-Hayes (and, indeed, that is almost all Schmitty).

Losers

Okay, now comes the fun part …

Biggest falling off year-to-year?  Would you believe Teddy Ballgame to Yaz?  Yup, Williams' last year clocked in (out?) at a very respectable 3.0. The 21-year-old Yazstrewski, however, was a little overmatched, with a WAR of -0.3.  Total difference?  -3.3.

 

Splendid Splinter, meet Carl Michael Yastrzemski

Career? Wow! This one is huge. In fact, we’re going from Gehrig’s absolutely incredible 6.6 to poor Babe Dahlgren’s pretty darn unimpressive 0.35.

 

Iron Horse, meet The Babe 

(actually, just a Babe – 

actually, that’s really just short for “Ellsworth”)

Totaling both WARs together? Interestingly, the lowest totals include genuine all-time stars Cap Anson and Carlton Fisk. Of course, their partners in crime were also Bill Everitt and Ron Karkovice.