Hall of Fame Chokers - Batters

A week or so ago, I looked at pitchers who were good enough to make the Hall of Fame, but who sucked when it came to the postseason. It seemed only fair to roast those position players who did the same.

For this go-around, I couldn’t think of anything that said sucks-at-hitting quite like batting below the Mendoza Line. Yup, there were half a dozen Hall of Famers who couldn’t make it to .200 in the postseason.


Ain’t Been There, Ain’t Done That

Before we take a look at those poor fellows, though, it’s important to point out that three times as many Hall of Famers never even got the chance. Now, a third of this group played primarily in the period when there really wasn’t any post-season:

• Ed Delahanty
• Hugh Duffy
• Billy Hamilton
• Jake Beckley
• Joe Kelly
• Hughie Jennings
• Willie Keeler

Poor Hughie Jennings was know mostly for 

striking this pose, then yelling, “Ee-yah!”

The rest, though, surely should have:

• Ron Santo
• Ernie Banks
• Luke Appling
• George Sisler
• Ralph Kiner
• Nap Lajoie
• Harry Heilam
• Elmer Flick
• George Kell
• Rick Ferrell
• Bobby Wallace

If they hadn’t been cursed, that is, by having to play for clubs the Cubs, White Sox, Indians, and Browns.

Poor guys

Been There, But Barely

It’s hard to believe, but there are a couple of Hall of Famers who got in the postseason, but never got a hit. At the same time, they accomplished all that with under ten at-bats. It didn’t really seem fair to put them in this particular hall of shame – at least not without a big asterisk.

And, so, our small sample size heroes are:

• Earl Averill, who went hitless in three at bats for the 1940 Detroit Tigers, at age 38. Previously, he had spent almost his entire career with the lowly Cleveland Indians. Yup, they’re lowly right now, and they were lowly back then too. 
• Billy Williams, who went hitless in a much more impressive seven at-bats. And that was for the 1975 Oakland A’s, in a losing effort in the ALCS. Interestingly, his brush with the postseason was at age 37, having spent his career with the extremely lowly Cubs.

Hey, wait a minute! That’s not Earl. 

(Well, yes, it actually is – Earl Jr., that is)

Can’t Hit Their Own Weight

And, without further ado, here they are, the worst of the worst. Let’s take them in order, from bad to worst:

Andre Dawson. 

A Rookie of the Year and an MVP, “The Hawk” would get into two postseasons, in 1981 with the Expos (that team’s only appearance) and in 1989 with the Cubs. And all that amounted to was two championship series and one division series – i.e., no World Series for Andre. In total, Dawson would “amass” 59 at-bats, a .186 average, zero homers, and three RBIs. 

Joe Morgan. 

Here’s our only true surprise. And I’m not saying that because Morgan was so great in the regular season. It’s also surprising as Morgan’s stats reflect quite a large sample size. I’m talking 11 series and 181 at bats. He also seemed to do pretty well outside of average – five HRs, 13 RBIs, 26 runs, and 15 stolen bases. Unfortunately, none of that is going to help him overcome a .182 average. Just to top it all off, there were actually two times when he went 0-for-the-series (the ‘76 and ‘79 NLCS’s), for a grand total of 18 at-bats.

No, not that Joe Morgan

Richie Ashburn. 

Not known for a big bat, Ashburn could nonetheless slap singles with the best of them. But just not in the postseason. Ashburn’s sole stint in October (a defeat in the 1950 World Series) amounted to 17 ABs, a .176 average, no homers, no runs, no stolen bases (a specialty of his), and a measly one RBI.

Go “Put Put,” go!

Dave Bancroft. 

Dave who? Yup, we’re getting squarely into that zone of Hall of Famers who maybe, you know, probably really shouldn’t be there in the first place. It’s really not too surprising, though, that the likes of these guys are helping us fill out this list. I mean, the only thing Bancroft ever led his league offensively was caught stealing (and, no, that doesn’t mean he was a catcher either). And that kind of futility is reflected in his totals from no less than four World Series – 93 ABs, .172 BA, 0 HRs, and 1 SB. Somehow or other, he did manage to get 7 RBIs and get into double figures in runs (with 10).

 

And if he hadn’t played for the Giants, 

he wouldn’t even be here

Travis Jackson.

 Another case in point. Unlike his buddy Dave Bancroft, though, Travis Jackson never led his league offensively in anything. Like Bancroft, on the other hand, Jackson was another slick-fielding shortstop who happened to play for the Giants, back when that major-market team was very good indeed. Jackson’s postseason stats were even more underwhelming – 67 at-bats, a .149 average, no homers, one steal, four RBIs, and seven runs.

I dunno, I’m having kind of a hard time 

telling these two guys apart

Heinie Manush. 

You can actually make an argument that Mr. Manush belongs in Cooperstown. Not much of an argument, but you can at least make one. In a 17-year career in the bigs, Heinie finished with a .330 average, the 32nd best all time. In the postseason, unfortunately, that average drops to a measly .111. Getting 18 at-bats in the 1933 World Series, Manush would get a mere two hits. Except for two runs, the rest of his stats would be goose eggs – no homers, no RBIs, no steals, no nuthin.

Hard to believe, but he got into that one Series 

with the famously inept Senators

Hall of Fame Chokers - Pitchers

Poor Clayton Kershaw. You’d think a surefire Hall of Famer like he is would have a little better record in the postseason. Unfortunately, he’s 9-11 with a 4.43 ERA over 158 innings. And that’s like a whole season of mediocrity.

Same goes for poor Justin Verlander. He’s looking a little better, at 14-11 and 3.40, but is 0-6 and 5.68 in World Series play.

Well, at least he’s a hero to someone

So, baseball’s recent postseason really got me thinking. What actual Hall of Famers could possibly be so bad in the postseason?


Ain’t Been There, Ain’t Done That

Well, first of all you gotta get to the postseason, doncha? Hard to believe, but that eliminates ten Hall of Famers, including:

• Ted Lyons
• Fergie Jenkins
• Jim Bunning
• Jack Chesbro
• Addie Joss
• Rube Waddell

At least for those first three, I guess playing for the White Sox, Cubs, and pre-Mike-Schmidt Phillies didn’t help any.

That’s Sen. Bunning to you, rookie!

The last three simply weren’t up for that many years.

Addie Joss passed away at age 31 of tuberculous meningitis

(and is not looking too good in this picture)

And then there’s the four who played before there really was a postseason:

• Pud Galvin
• Candy Cummings
• Al Spalding
• Amos Rusie

And now you know why they called him “Pud”

Bigtime Losers

Well, one sure way to identify a loser is to find someone with a losing record. So, here they are, from least to most loserific:

• Mike Mussina – 7-8
• Tom Glavine – 14-16
• Randy Johnson – 7-9
• Burleigh Grimes – 3-4
• Trevor Hoffman – 1-2
• Eddie Plank – 2-5
• Phil Niekro, Vic Willis, Juan Marichal, Mickey Welch, Early Wynn, Marquard, Rixey – 0-1
• Dennis Eckersley – 0-3

Oddly, he still wears the same hairdo to this day

Winners Who Are Really Losers

This group includes a couple of pitchers without losing records, but with absolutely no reason to do so. I’m talking about Gaylord Perry, with a record of 1-1 but a 6.14 ERA, and Hal Newhouser, who was 2-1 but with an ERA of 6.53.

Interestingly, Perry would get to the postseason
with only one of those teams – the 71 Giants

Total Losers

Hard to believe but there were a couple of Hall of Famers who were losers both record wise and stat wise as well. 

We’re all probably familiar with poor Lee Smith. The guy with the third-most saves all time also famously choked in the big games. Which is kind of odd, as I have him down for only two postseasons. That said, I do have him down for a 0-1 record and an 8.44 ERA.

Finally!

Our other candidate for complete infamy is a bit of a surprise. Playing back in the day when the postseason was only the World Series, this guy got in only one of those. His team’s ace, he would go 0-2 with a 5.02 ERA. Somehow or other, though, his team would win. And that team hasn’t won the World Series again in 65 years. Have you guessed who I’m talking about?

The Origins of NC County Names

The earliest counties in North Carolina date all the way back to 1668. In the very northeast part of the state (and all still around today), they include Chowan, Currituck, Pasquotank, and Perquimans.

The last ones created – Avery and Hoke – date back to a little more than 100 years ago, in 
1911. And that leaves the Tar Heel State with exactly 100 counties today.

With all that history, it’s not surprising there are some interesting stories as to how these counties came to be named. In fact, there are some definite themes that emerge as well. 

Below is a map of the state’s counties reflecting those themes. And here’s a key for that map:

• Red – royal and colonial
• Blue – revolutionary 
• Purple – Brits who sided with the colonies
• Grey – Civil War era
• Orange – NC folks not covered above
• Green – Native American
• Black – everything else

A couple of notes:

Green (10)

Rather interestingly, some of those earliest counties trace their names back to Native American origins. Currituck, Pasquotank, Perquimans, Chowan and Pamlico are all in the far eastern part of the state. 

Seems, though, that those fell out of favor. You have to go all the way to the western part of the state to find any more – Yadkin, Allegheny, Watauga, Catawaba, and Cherokee.

Red (28)

Not too surprisingly, these tend to cluster in the eastern part of the state. The furthest west is Mecklenburg, home to Charlotte and named after that particular queen’s royal house. Other royal houses are memorialized in Brunswick, New Hanover (Wilmington), and Orange (Chapel Hill) counties. 

The Lords Proprietors, the original owners of the Carolinas, are remembered with several counties – Carteret, Bertie, Craven, Tyrrell, Beaufort, and Granville. Some colonial governors are honored in Hyde, Johnston, Martin and Rowan counties. 

Interestingly, Wake County (Raleigh) is named for the wife of a colonial governor, William Tryon, who was, however, not so honored himself. Same goes for Surry, named after Tryon’s home county back in Britain.

The rest are almost all British politicos, famous or involved with the Board of Trade – Bladen, Guilford (Winston-Salem), Onslow, Duplin, Edgecombe, Halifax, Hertford and Northampton.

Purple (5)

There are only five of these, with one guy accounting for two of them (William Pitt, Earl of Chatham). The rest are for Charles Pratt, 1st Earl Camden; Charles Lennox, 3rd Duke of Richmond; and Charles Watson-Wentworth, 2nd Marquess of Rockingham. Interestingly, these counties date from as early as 1760 to as late as 1785.

Blue (31)

These tend to cluster in the central part of the state, reflecting when these counties were created. They range from Washington in the east (after the father of our country) to Buncombe in the west (after Edward Buncombe, a colonel from what is now Washington County). 

These are mostly militarily, with the majority named after local folk, mostly military types, and none of whom are really famous outside of North Carolina. There are also some national figures – Washington, Greene (Nathaniel), Wayne (Mad Anthony), Gates (Horation) and Madison.

Interestingly, Polk was for William Polk, and not James Knox. They were definitely related though. A distinguished officer in the Revolutionary War, William went on to serve his native state for over 30 years in a number of different positions.

Grey (4)

Seeing as most counties had been created before the Civil War, it’s a little surprising that there are four of these. Turns out all four were carved from existing counties – Pender from New Hanover, Hoke from Cumberland and Robeson, Lee from Chatham and Moore, and Vance from three different ones. You’re probably familiar with Robert E. Lee and Zebulon Vance (the very popular wartime governor). Dorsey Pender and Robert Hoke were generals from NC, with the former a casualty at Gettysburg, 

Orange (14)

A lot of counties were created between NC becoming a state and the Civil War. Not too surprisingly, politicians in this period tended to be pretty popular sources for names for these counties. 

Wilson is the furthest east of these, was named after a Mexican American War colonel (and casualty), and was actually formed from three existing counties. The rest include one military figure (Forsyth), a local landowner (Durham), a UNC professor (Mitchell), and the rest all local politicians. With but two exceptions, they are all west of the I-77 corridor.

Black (6)

Okay, here are your outliers. Honestly, this is just a grab-bag. So, you’ve got your famous figures from outside the state (Columbus, Jackson, and Clay), another country (Scotland), an abstract noun (Union), and a little Latin (Transylvania, meaning “across the forest”).

How close was the 2016 election?

I think we all know that Hilary Clinton won the popular vote in 2016. Indeed, it was by a whole 2 percentage points – 48.2 to 46.1. And that amounts amount to not quite 3,000,000 people - or more than the population of Mississippi, Kansas, Nebraska, or West Virginia.

The electoral vote, though, was not that close, 304 to 227. How could that be? The only other presidential elections where the winner lost the popular vote to someone else tended to be much closer.

Trump won because of three states decided by less than 1% – Pennsylvania (.72), Michigan (.23), and Wisconsin (.77). If these pretty populous states had gone to Clinton, she would have won 278 to 262. 

In other words, if 3,000 voters in Pennsylvania, 3,500 in Ohio, and 4,000 in Wisconsin had switched, it would have been a whole different story. Put those all together, and you’d still have room left over trying to fill Dudy Noble Field, home of the Mississippi State baseball team, or Hiram Bithorn Stadium, home of the Santurce Crabbers.

Now, you’ve probably already noticed that 48.2 and 46.1 don’t add up to 100, so you’re probably also wondering about third party candidates. Sure enough, if you subtract votes for the Green Party’s Jill Stein you’ll find Clinton wins again:

• Pennsylvania – .81 > .72
• Ohio – .84 > .23
• Wisconsin – 1.04 > .77

I mean, honestly, I don’t see these folks voting for Trump (though they could, of course, just as easily have stayed at home).

At the same time, there is also the Libertarian Party’s Gary Johnson, who polled over 2% in each of those states. I figure some of those votes could have gone Democratic, but I have a feeling most of them would have gone for Trump (if, once again, they didn’t just simply sleep in).

Finally, you’ve got Evan McMullin. He polled between 1 and 2% in 5 states, and an incredible 21.5% in Utah. You gotta figure all those voters who actually would’ve gone to the polls would’ve gone Republican too.

All that said, did you know that there have been 4 elections where the winner of the popular vote did not win the electoral college? Further, did you know that a Republican won each of those:

• 1876 – Hayes over Tilden
• 1888 – Harrison over Cleveland
• 2000 – Bush over Gore
• 2016 – Trump over Clinton

Can't wait to see what happens in 2020.

Most Famous Murderers by Country

Well, I already did this by state. So why not do this by country?

Methodology

You know, there are a lot of countries out there. I definitely had to limit this somehow. 
I did have two great sources though – Wikipedia and Murderpedia. So what I ended up doing was just combing through those two, country list by country list. 

Needless to say, there were plenty of entries, but what I found was that if a particular entry took up at least ten pages of text (on both sites), there was a pretty good chance that we were dealing with somebody of some import. And if we were dealing with a country large enough for a couple of these folks, well the one with the most pages was the winner.  All in all, it gave us a nice round two dozen.

Oh, it also helps if I’ve heard of these people before. Honestly, I know a creepy amount about this stuff.


#24 – Finland:  Pekka-Eric Auvinen

Not sure how this one made it, to tell you the truth. It honestly just seems like another school shooting – depressingly so.  Perhaps it’s where it happened, not exactly known for this sort of thing. That, and then this super weird picture of the perp.

#23 – New Zealand:  Brenton Tarrant

If the name doesn’t sound familiar, the event probably does. Yup, this is the guy who shot up the mosques, just this year. The final death toll was 51. Other than that, New Zealanders don’t seem to be a very murderous bunch. Indeed, this white nationalist perp was actually an Australian.

#22 – Denmark: Peter Lundin

Another Scandinavian one, but this time with a definite American twist. Turns out this guy, born in Denmark but raised in the US, also committed his first murder there – of his mum, supposedly because she wanted him to cut his long hair. It was at that time that Lundin “starred” in a Danish documentary (see picture below). After serving part of his sentence, he was expelled back to Denmark, where he took up with a sex worker, then killed and dismembered her and her two children. Lots of legal, media, and even diplomatic attention were to follow.

#21 – China:  Yang Xinhai

It’s a big country. There’s a lotta people there. It’s not too surprising they’re going to be on this list. Sure enough, this guy would account for 67 deaths. He specialized in wiping out whole families, usually farmers like himself. His MO would involve farm implements – axes, hammers, shovels, etc. – as well as rape. In classic PRC style, he would be executed with a shot to the back of the head.

#20 – Sweden:  Thomas Quick

No, you’re right – that’s not a very Swedish name. Indeed, Quick was born Sture Ragnar Bergwall. He changed his name in the midst of a long, meandering career in and out of prisons and psychiatric institutions. In one of the latter, he confessed to over 30 murders, scattered all over Scandinavia. Based pretty much solely on those confessions, he would be convicted of eight murders over six trials. Upon withdrawing those confessions, however, he would then be released. It would all result in three books, one film, and a lingering question of, Did he or didn’t he?

#19 – South Africa:  Moses Sithole

Here’s one you may have not heard of. One thing that makes Sithole stand out, though, is the body count – at least 38. Another is that his crimes merited their own name, the ready-for-prime-time “ABC Murders” (though really only after the Johannesburg suburbs he was active in). Finally, Sithole found his victims by advertising for positions in a shell charity he had set up, the ironically named Youth Against Human Abuse. 

#18 – Australia:  Ivan Milat

Son of a Croatian immigrant father and Australian mother, Ivan Milat was a country boy who liked to ride his ATV and go hunting. Unfortunately, his quarry would sometimes include backpackers and hitchhikers. The Backpack Murderer would be fingered by one who got away, then connected to seven bodies in the local national forest. The victims were all young people travelling about the country, and included Australians, Brits, and Germans. Milat would be known for some bizarre behavior in prison, including severing a pinkie with a plastic knife and swallowing razor blades. No shortage of movies, books, and TV for this one.

#17 – Colombia:  Pedro Lopez

Ever heard of the Monster of the Andes? Well, you should have. This guy was convicted of 110 murders, and confessed to 300. He’s the second most prolific serial killer of all time. His prey were young girls in Peru, Ecuador, and Colombia. Lopez also has an unfortunate history of being released from prison, and is in fact currently at large.

#16 – Italy:  The Monster of Florence *

Our first unsolved! Sure enough, this unknown perp was responsible for 16 deaths in the area of Florence from the late 60s into the 80s. Notice that that was an even number. Indeed, the killer’s MO was to stalk couples making out in lovers lanes, then blow them away. Or should I say “killers’”. Yup, the Italian authorities were pretty certain it was a gang, a gang that they called the Snacks Companions (sorry, something must have been lost in translation). The book, film, and television references themselves take up a whole page in Wikipedia on their own.

#15 – Belgium:  Marc Dutroux

Super creep out alert! Yup, this guy was famous for pedophilia and the murders of young girls. He and his wife, Michelle Martin, accounted for at least five teen and pre-teen girls that they abducted, tortured, and murdered. All this happened in the grittiest areas of Belgique, where Dutroux, a successful electrician, happened to own multiple rundown properties. A sensational trial, police scandals, and parliamentary involvement ensued. Hard to top this entry from Wikipedia though: “The Dutroux case is so infamous that more than a third of Belgians with the surname ‘Dutroux’ applied to have their surname changed between 1996 and 1998.”

Marc et Michelle

#14 – Canada:  Robert Pickton *

Hey, it’s the Pig Farmer! Robert Pickton inherited a pig farm in the city of Port Coquitlam, a suburb of Vancouver. Selling parts of the farm off to the growing city, he would become a millionaire. Pretty much giving up on pig farming except as a hobby, Pickton would divert himself by picking up hookers on Vancouver’s skid row, driving them back to his place, killing them, grinding them up with a wood chipper, then feeding them to his pigs. The final death toll was 49. The story also features plenty of police bungling and extensive court trials, and would result in the usual books, TV, and movies, but also a number of songs by punk and metal bands.

#13 – Egypt:  Raya & Sakina

Yup, no last names. I guess that’s the way they did it back then. These two sisters – along with their husbands – set up quite the operation in 1920s Cairo. Basically, the two women lured local neighborhood ladies to their homes, plied them with liquor, suffocated them, then buried them beneath the tiles of their homes. A local jeweler was more than happy to fence the jewelry that they scored. Since that time, their story has fueled three movies, a play, and a TV series.

#12 – Mexico:  Delfina & Maria Gonzalez

Here are two ladies that deserve to be a lot more well known. These two sisters buried more than 90 corpses on the grounds of the ranch/brothel they owned. Most of the victims were trafficked prostitutes who had lost their usefulness. The two were not, however, above offing those johns who showed up with lots of cash. Plenty of lurid details, a sensational trial, and rumors of bribes and Satanism have made this one a particular favorite. One of the sisters died mad in prison. The other somehow lived long to be released, finishing out her life in total obscurity.

#11 – Spain:  Enriqueta Marqui

Kind of amazed I never heard of this one – it’s quite the story. Indeed, it’s called the “Black Legend,” and involves high society, a pedophilia ring, witchcraft, and an attractive procuress leading a double life. Let me explain … Marti, a former prostitute, set up shop around the turn of the 20th Century as a provider of children to the elite of Barcelona. During the day, she would dress in rags to find her urchins. At night, she would dress in finery, then market the ones she had cleaned up and groomed at all of the top spots in the city. To top it all off, she would dispose of her young charges by turning their remains into various potions, which she would then market to the same elite as something of a witch doctor. Wow!

#10 – Austria:  Jack Unterweger

Handsome, stylish, and an author, Jack Unterweger was something of a literary and media darling. Originally convicted of a single murder, he would begin his writing career while in prison. Released after 15 years in response to pleading from the intelligentsia (including famous German author Guenter Grass), Unterweger would become a journalist and TV host. And a serial killer. Yup, he would begin a string of 11 murders in the space of about a year and spanning Europe and the US. As a journalist, he even wrote about some of the murders he committed. After a dramatic flight around the world, he was arrested, convicted, and would then commit suicide in prison.

#9 – Asia:  Charles Sobrajh

Born in Vietnam, but half Indian, Sobrahj would commit his crimes all over Asia. Honestly, the guy was quite a jet setter. A classic psychopath, Sobrajh was cultured, charming, handsome, loved the limelight, and was able to attract acolytes wherever he travelled. Released after 20 years in prison in India, he would move to Paris where he would become something of a celebrity. Returning to Asia for some reason, he would be arrested and sentenced to life in prison in Nepal. Specializing in hippie chicks, Sobrajh would be known as the Bikini Killer.

#8 – France:  Henri Landru

An inveterate swindler, Landru would switch from business schemes to lonely hearts scams. In particular, he would get women to hand over their savings, then lure them to two villas outside Paris, where he would kill them, then dismember and incinerate their bodies. He was convicted of killing 11, but his total may have gone as high as 72. He corresponded with 283 women in total. All this took place during WWI, when all the men were at the front (or dead) and policing was particularly light. He may have gotten away with a lot more, but was tracked down by the sister of one of his victims. A sensational and celebrated trial (with Collette and Maurice Chevalier in attendance) resulted in a guilty verdict, with Landru finally losing his head on the guillotine. The case resulted in no less than 17 books (most in French) and several films (including one by famous director Claude Chabrol).

#7 – Japan:  Shoko Asahara

There’s nothing like a good cult tie-in to ensure a good place on this list. Remember Aum Shinrikyo? They were a death cult behind a gas attack in Tokyo’s subway back in the 90s. Cult members released sarin gas, accounting for 12 deaths and over 1,000 injuries. This guy was their leader. Blind from birth, he fashioned his beliefs from a mix of Hinduism, Christianity, and extreme paranoia. He also thought he was Jesus. He, and 12 other cult leaders, would swing for their crimes.

#6 - Norway:  Anders Breveik

I honestly didn’t want to include this guy (too recent, too horrible), but the body count is pretty mind-boggling. Breveik would account for 77 total – 8 from a bomb in Oslo, and 69 mostly teens on an island at a summer camp. Just to make this guy even more charming, his motive was pure ethnic hatred. 

Here are some interesting tidbits about this guy that don’t usually get mentioned:

• His father was a diplomat
• His mother, who raised him, was basically totally crazy
• As a teen, he was into hip-hop and graffiti
• He had cosmetic surgery
• He saw himself as the “future regent of Norway, master of life and death, inordinately loving, Europe's most perfect knight since WWII,” and “Knight Justiciar Grand Master" of the Knights Templar.

#5 – Russia:  Andrei Chikatilo

When you’ve got three nicknames, you know you’re big time. Andrei Chikatilo, AKA the Butcher of Rostov, AKA the Red Ripper, AKA the Rostov Ripper, killed 50-some women and children during the 1980s. A sexual psychopath, Chikatilo might not have even gotten away with the first one – let alone his 56th – if it weren’t for repeated police bugling. He was executed in classic Soviet style with a gunshot to the head.

#4 – Germany:  Peter Kurten

Ah, yes, the Vampire of Dusseldorf. AKA the Dusseldorf Monster, Kurten committed his first murders at age 9 (he also enjoyed incest, bestiality, and arson at an early age). He would become known, however, for lustmord, and was arguably the first documented sexual psychopath killer. Accounting for at least nine murders and over 30 attacks, he would be turned in by his own wife. He would then be executed by beheading, an event he creepily would look forward to. In fact, you can see his head, split in half for your viewing pleasure, at the Ripley’s in Wisconsin Dells. Director Fritz Lang would base his classic movie M on Kurten’s story.

#3 – Hungary:  Elizabeth Bathory

Just to let you know that murder is not just a modern thing, the Blood Countess was active primarily in the 16th Century. Bathory was the mistress of Čachtice Castle while her husband was away at war and then later after he died. There, and at several other properties she owned, she tortured and then killed what may have been hundreds of servant girls. Probably because of her noble connections, she was able to avoid execution, but was bricked up in a set of rooms in Čachtice. Numerous legends would be later added to her story, the most popular of which was that she bathed in the blood of virgins to keep her youth.

#2 – USA:  Charles Manson *

There’s a lot of competition for this one, but I don’t think anyone captured the public imagination and generated as much coverage as old Charlie. The crimes were surely sensational enough – brainwashed hippies in thrall to a cult leader murder Hollywood celebs in an exceedingly gruesome way. Add to that a surefire Trial of the Century, and it’s no wonder that the crimes resulted in the best-selling true crime book of all time (Helter Skelter), 11 documentaries, and numerous works of fiction and even band names. 

#1 – UK:  Jack the Ripper *

Honestly, this is where it all started. Now, it wasn’t that there hadn’t been crazed murderers like Jack before. It’s just that a combination of newly literate masses, newspapers created just for them, an enormous metropolis, and a truly sensational series of crimes basically created the whole idea of crime journalism. It’s also the classic whodunit, with no true killer identified – though plenty of suspects, some of them risible – after 130 years. Finally, the impact of the crimes on culture and society have been incalculable. Wikipedia list 23 works of fiction, an opera by Alban Berg, Hitchcock’s first blockbuster, songs by Dylan and Morrissey, and too many movies, non-fiction books, and TV shows to count.

* -  author read the book / watched the doc 

Funny-Sounding Food

I came home with some barfi the other day. You know, the Indian sweet? For some reason, none of my family wanted to try it.

You know, there are a lot of different cuisines out there … and a lot of different dishes. It’s not too surprising that some of these are going to sound a little odd to English speakers. Now, wouldn’t it be fun to put those all in a listicle?

To make all this manageable, though, I had to come up with some ground rules. In particular, I limited it to stuff I could find on Wikipedia. Basically, I just looked at articles for every national and regional cuisine I could find, keeping a special eye out for lists. 

Not too surprisingly, I found a ton. In fact, I had to break them into no less than – hold on, let me count ‘em up – nine groups!

Bon appetit!


Something Just Doesn’t Sound Right

• Plov – what rice pilaf is called in Central Asia
• Snert – the Dutch version of split pea soup
• Chaunk – in Bangladesh, “a garnish made by frying mustard seed, asafoetida, and other whole spices in oil or ghee to release the flavours. Can be added to soups, curries, etc., at the end of cooking.”
• Guthuk – “a noodle soup in Tibetan cuisine. It is eaten two days before Losar, the Tibetan New Year and is a variation on Thukpa bhatuk.”

Unfortunately, Guthuk just so happens to look just like it sounds

False Cognates

• Financier – a small French cake made with almonds
• Rolex – “an egg omelette and veggies wrapped in a chapati,” popular in Uganda
• Dodo – fried plantains, in Nigeria
• Sundae – Korean blood sausage
• Pap – corn porridge, a staple of the Bantu
• Munkki – cardamom donuts, a food eaten in Finland on May Day
• Brik – the Tunisian version of bourek, a savory, stuffed pastry popular in the Balkans and throughout the Mediterranean region
• Fool – an English dessert made with stewed fruit and custard or whipped cream
• Cat’s Ear – a kind of Chinese noodle, shaped like a … cat’s ear
• Ear-hole fried cake – a fried Chinese pastry filled with bean paste and looking like … a human ear!?!?
• Walkie talkie – chicken feet, heads and giblets, served with pap (!!!) and popular in South Africa
• Bra – an Italian cheese from the village of … Bra

"Excuse me, waiter,

there's a cat's ear in my stew."

False Cognates II

• O mai – salted or sugared dry apricot, a street food in Vietnam
• Seen dat – Laotian-style barbecue
• Wet tha chin – a Burmese dish of preserved minced pork and rice
• Phat mama – stir-fried instant ramen noodles, popular in Thailand

Yo mama's so phat

Pure Poesy

• Floating island – a French dessert of meringue floating on crème anglaise
• One man thousand – fried anchovies, popular throughout West Africa
• The Four Northeastern Simmerings – pork with cellophane noodle, free range chicken with honey fungus, catfish with eggplant, and pork ribs with common bean
• Protect the country dish – a soup made for the Chinese emperor when he was fleeing from the Mongols (way back in the 13th Century)
• Angels on horseback – oysters wrapped in bacon
• Pig in a blanket – the American version of sausages wrapped in pastry, a dish actually popular throughout most of northern Europe
• Bubble and squeak – a British breakfast made up of whatever was left over from last night’s dinner, though traditionally it should include potatoes and cabbage
• Hoppin john – rice and beans with bacon or ham, popular in the southern US
• Crossing the bridge noodles – a noodle soup from China
• Buddha jumps over the wall – a version of shark’s fin soup so delicious that Chinese monks would abandon their monasteries and vows to partake of it
• Ants climbing a tree – another Chinese dish, this one made up of noodles and ground meat (which clings to the noodles, giving the dish its name)
• Toad in the hole – sausages in Yorkshire pudding batter, from the UK

Bubble and squeak 

(and, quite possibly, the original "dog’s breakfast")

Back to Basics

• Water-cooked meat – a soup from the Szechuan region of China (and, despite the name, very spicy)
• Goat water – goat stew, the national dish of the Caribbean island of Montserrat
• Oil down – a stew from the Caribbean island of Grenada
• Run down – a seafood soup served throughout the Caribbean
• Naked oats noodle – a Chinese noodle dish, made from Avena nuda, a type of oat that separates easily from its hull
• Fried triangle – a stuffed dumpling, popular as a street food in Beijing
• Stir-fried starch knots – a kind of Chinese pasta, cooked with meat and veggies

“You gonna eat your knots?”

Just Plain Weird

• Beer duck – duck cooked in beer, a popular dish in the Chinese regions of Hunan and Szechuan
• Sea spider salad – a salad made from spindly marine animals (of the class Pycnogonida), popular in Croatia
• Snow fungus soup – a Chinese soup made from a white tree fungus (also known as white wood ear)
• Golden Muscle Wine – a kind of Cambodian liquor (and with a picture of a bodybuilder on the label)
• Turtle shell with smilax pudding – a jelly-like desert made from ground-up turtle shell and roots of the smilax plant, popular in China for its medicinal properties
• Jade rabbit sea cucumber – a Chinese dish that, though it does indeed involve sea cucumber, does not appear to involve either jade or rabbit
• Caterpillar fungus duck – duck stuffed with a fungus that grows out of dead caterpillars, a rare delicacy (and supposed aphrodisiac) in Tibet and the Himalayas
• Flower mushroom frog – a Chinese dish combining frog and a kind of mushroom called … flower mushrooms
• Fiery pupil immortal duck – another Chinese dish, this one combining duck and ham
• Stinking bishop – an English cheese with a strong odor

Half caterpillar, half fungus – all gross

Ew, Gross!

• Japanese fluvial sculpin – a “rather ugly fish,” but with a “very sophisticated. sweet taste” (“fluvial” simply means it lives in rivers)
• Bile up – “the cultural dish of the Kriols of Belize: a combination of boiled eggs, fish and/or pig tail, with cassava, yams, or sweet potatoes, plantains, and tomato sauce,” all “boiled” together
• Dried water buffalo skin – a kind of jerky, popular in Laos
• Wood tar – in Finland, a flavoring “made from tree sap extracted from burning wood, most commonly pine” and used in “alcohol, ice cream, sweets, chewing gum, lemonade, and meat”
• Edible dormouse – a species of mouse, Glis glis, eaten by the Romans and still popular in the Balkans
• Bat curry – a curry … made from bats, popular in Asia 
• Goat/sheep's intestine filled with blood – a dish popular in Beijing.  Need I say more? 
• Monkey gland sauce – a sauce used on hamburgers and such, popular in South Africa (and which “does not involve monkeys in any way”)
• Pig blood curd – basically a kind of blood pudding found in Southeast Asia, also known as “blood tofu”
• Jellied moose nose – kind of like the Canadian version of head cheese

"You want some fries with that dormouse?"

Gross False Cognates

• Rag pudding – a British dish a “consisting of minced meat and onions wrapped in a suet pastry, which is then cooked in a cheesecloth”
• Skirts and kidneys – an Irish stew made from pork kidneys and skirts (trimmings from around the diaphragm)
• Botok – in Indonesia, coconut meat, mixed with meat or fish, then steamed in banana leaves
• Plazma cake – a Serbian cake made from ground-up Plazma-brand biscuits
• Pocari Sweat – a Japanese sports drink
• Krap – how you say “carp” in Montenegro
• Barfi – an Indian sweet made from milk and sugar
• Cholera – a baked Swiss tart, made of potatoes, cheese, vegetables, and fruit

Not sure which are the skirts and which are the kidneys

(though I know those white things are potatoes)

Just Slightly Off Color

• Crystal balls – in China, a type of candy as well as a dumpling
• Faggots – meatballs made from offal, popular in the UK 
• Khao poon – a spicy soup made with rice and vermicelli and popular in Southeast Asia
• Pig’s organ soup – a Chinese soup made with pig offal (in particular, liver, heart, intestines, stomach, tongue, and blood cubes)
• Diks – a Moroccan drink
• Spotted dick – a British desert, made with suet and dried fruit 
• Phat prik – a spicy, dry Thai curry

Not to be confused with Mr. Faggot’s Pork Brains 

(in a Rich West Country Sauce)