Man, there sure are a lotta dumb minor league team names out there. I’m talking Sod Poodles, Muck Dogs, Rumble Ponies, Trash Pandas, Macon Bacon …
I mean, it’s fun and all, but there are some of us who prefer something a little more dignified, maybe even something with some history behind it.
So, here’s a look at team names for the top level of the minors, Triple A. I’m going to rank them, from best to worst. For the latter, I’ll even come up with some suggestions for name changes.
Durham Bulls
This one’s been around for over 100 years – 110, to be exact. There are also some great associations with the city. For one, Bull Durham was a famous tobacco back in the day. Two, probably the greatest baseball movie ever featured just this team. Total keeper.
Rochester Red Wings
This one’s been for almost 100 years (falling just 5 short, at 95). Interestingly, the name came from a contest. There were some ties to the parent club at the time (the Cardinals) as well as to local Native American history. As for the hockey team? They actually came four years later. Definite keeper.
Buffalo Bison
They’ve been around 145 years and relate to the city name well (better than the Bills, IMHO). Easy keeper.
St Paul Saints
St Paul doesn’t have much history at AAA, but they certainly do with the name of Saints (122 years, no less). It’s also an obvious choice given the city name. Total keeper.
Indianapolis Indians
Another obvious one from the city name. It’s also been around for 122 years. Definite keeper.
Charlotte Knights
Kinda surprised this one hadn’t been snagged by a major league franchise before the Golden Knights of Las Vegas sorta did so in 2017. The Knights have been in Charlotte for 41 years. (The Hornets had a longer association, but the name’s pretty much been taken by the NBA franchise.) There’s also a nice association with the city, which was named after Queen Charlotte. Easy keeper.
Memphis Redbirds
Though a number of cities have gone with this over the years, Memphis has owned it for the last 25. A more historical name would be the Chicks, or the Chickasaws, which tallied 65 years. Redbirds are just fine, though, so let’s stick with that.
Pete Gray
Worcester Red Sox
In general, I do not like names that are just repeats of the parent club. For Worcester, though, almost everyone calls them the Woo Sox. Same with the Paw Sox, when the team was in Pawtucket, RI for 49 years. Given that, I think the official name is just fine.
Norfolk Tides
This one’s been around for a good 60 years, as well as reflects the city’s location on the Chesapeake Bay. Keeper.
Nashville Sounds
It’s a bit odd, but has been in place for 45 years, so I think it’s safe. They were the Volunteers for 62 years, but that’s so closely tied to the Univ. of Tennessee that it wouldn’t be right to repeat it here. Sounds it is.
Columbus Clippers
Now, this would be a great name for some city on the seaboard, not one in landlocked Ohio. That said, it’s alliterative and has been around for 46 years, so let’s keep it.
Toledo Mud Hens
At first blush, this seems like one that was just created – something along the lines of Muck Dogs or Trash Pandas, say. Interestingly, though, it’s over 100 years old (108, to be exact).
Wondering what a mud hen is? According to milb.com, “A mud hen is a marsh bird with short wings and long legs that inhabits swamps or marshes. Such birds have been known as marsh hens, rails, coots, or mud hens.” Turns out the original stadium was built on a marsh where these birds hung out. It’s a little out there, but history alone says it’s a keeper.
Iowa Cubs (Oaks)
Like I said before, I don’t like team names that are just repeats of their parent club’s. For this one, we have several possible alternatives – Demons (15), Oaks (12) & Bruins (12). Demons are good, but that would force a change to Des Moines from Iowa. I have no idea what Bruins is doing here, so let’s go with Oaks. It goes with a former hockey team there called the Oak Leaves, as well as some oak-named urban features like neighborhoods, parks & streets.
Syracuse Mets (Chiefs)
Where Cubs have been in Iowa for 45 years, Mets have called Syracuse home for only 4. Contrast that with the team’s former name, the Chiefs, which had been in place for 84 years. Really need to switch back.
Louisville Bats (Colonels)
Once again, it’s clever (i.e., Louisville Sluggers vs mammals of the order chiroptera). Personally, though, I think it’s a little too clever. Though it’s been around for 21 years, a former moniker, Colonels, was around for 86. Given that, and its close association with Kentucky (Col. Sanders, anyone?), let’s go with Colonels.
Omaha Storm Chasers (Tornadoes)
Sure, let’s name our team after a bunch of idiots who endanger their lives chasing tornadoes so they can capture footage of them and upload that footage to YouTube. Why not?
Unfortunately, there aren’t many other candidates from the team’s history. They were the – boring – Royals for what seemed like forever.
If they want to go with a tornado theme, why not just simply call them the Tornadoes, or Cyclones, or Twisters?
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders (Miners)
This one wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the faddish squeezing together of two words with a capital in the middle (YouTube, TikTok, WhatsApp …), And what’s a rail rider anyway? Do they mean hobos?
Luckily, there’s an alternative that makes a lot more sense, plus has 41 years of history behind it (RailRiders only has 10). And that would be the Miners.
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp (Suns)
Ugh! Honestly, what self-respecting ballplayer would want to be know as a Jumbo Shrimp? This one’s been around for only 6 years, contrasting with the previous name, the Suns, which was around for 47. Time to go back.
Yup, that’s Tom Seaver alright
Lehigh Valley IronPigs (Dukes)
The absolute worst. First, what the heck is an iron pig? Second is the cutesy – and annoying – spelling and capitalization. Hard to believe it’s been around for 15 years.
Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of historical names to choose from. We’ve got Ambassadors (7 years) and Dukes (4). Ambassadors makes no sense, so let’s go with Dukes.
Yup, they actually stooped that far
