Countries with a Single NFL Alum

About 5 years ago, I did something similar for baseball. So, why not do the same for football? 

NOTES:

• As before, I’m only doing real countries. So, places like Hong Kong, Marshall Islands, Kosovo … are out
• Same goes for NFL teams – Columbus Tigers, LA Buccaneers, Pottsville Maroons …

Angola – Christo Bilukidi

DE, 3 yrs, 3 teams, 2010s

Fun fact – has lived in Angola, France & Canada

Is now selling real estate (Christo’s on the right)

Armenia – Mike Gulian

T, Brown, 5 yrs, 3 teams, 1920s

Fun fact – first name was Milanese

Bolivia – Wilson Alvarez

K, Seahawks, 1981

Oops, wrong one

Brazil – Cairo Santos

K, Tulane, 12 yrs, 5 teams, active

Fun facts – discovered American football as an exchange student

2012 Lou Groza Award winner (best college kicker)

Chile – Sammis Reyes

TE, Commanders, 2021

Fun fact – 6’6” and originally a basketball player

Cyprus – Garo Yepremian

K, 14 yrs, 4 teams, 2-time Pro Bowler, led NFL in scoring

Fun fact – most seasons for a player who did not go to college

Now, known solely for this play, poor guy

El Salvador – Jose Cortez

K, Oregon St, 6 yrs, 7 teams, 2000s

Fun fact – came to US at age 15 as undocumented alien; became a state trooper upon retirement; fired for sexual assault

Fiji – Freddy Keiaho

LB, San Diego St, 4 yrs, Colts

Fun fact – born Naivote Taulawakeiaho

You can find him on LinkedIn, selling pools

Gambia – Ali Gaye

LB, LSU, 2 yrs, Titans, active

Fun fact – immigrated at age 12

Guinea – Kwity Paye

DE, Michigan, 5 yrs, Colts, active

Fun fact – Liberian, born in Guinea as a refugee

Guyana – Lance Schulters

DB, Hofstra, 10 yrs, 4 teams

Fun fact – currently assistant defensive coach for Atlanta

Iran – Shar Pourdanesh

T, Nevada, 5 yrs, 2 teams

Fun fact – formerly in CFL

Libya – Tony Cherry

RB, Oregon, 2 yrs, 49ers, 1980s

Fun fact – another CFLer

Paraguay – Benny Ricardo

K, San Diego State, 7 yrs, 5 teams

Fun fact – TV analyst, actor, comedian; married to former Playmate Monique Noel

 

Benny on left, Monique on right

Crazy Soccer Nicknames

Now, some are just boring (Reds, Blues, Lions, Eagles). Some are a little more interesting (Clarets, Violets, Griffins, Gunners). And some are just crazy.

And it’s that last group that we’re interested in here. So, without further ado, here are my top 25, from least to most crazy.

NOTE: There are probably thousands of soccer teams in the world. I’m limiting this to just the 5 major European leagues – the EPL (England), Bundesliga (Germany), Ligue 1 (France), Serie A (Italy) & La Liga (Spain). Maybe I’ll be back with some more.

25.  Anchovies (Boquerones) – Malaga (La Liga)

An important part of the local cuisine

24.  Carnival Club (Karnevalsverein) – Mainz 05 (Bundesliga)

City is famous for its Mardi Gras celebration

23.  Violins (Violini) – Cremonese (Serie A)

City is known for violin-making

22.  Blockheads (Teste Quadre) – Reggiana (Serie A)

Traditional insult directed at people from Reggio

21.  Grandpa (Abuelo) – Huelva (La Liga)

Oldest team in Spain

20.  Tractor Boys – Ipswich (EPL)

Located in an agricultural part of the country

19.  Pompey – Portsmouth (EPL)

A nickname for the city (itself of uncertain origin)

18. The Old Lady (La Vecchia Signora) – Juventus (Serie A) 

Reflects the team’s elegance & tradition

NOTE:  Hertha (Bundesliga) is also known as the Old Lady (Die Alte Dame)

17.  The Old Fool (Il Vecchio Balordo) – Genoa (Serie A)

Coined by a journalist who loved the team but hated their “often frustrating and unpredictable decisions”

16.  The Scapular Club (Le Club au Scapulaire) – Bordeaux (Ligue 1)

From a scapular-like V on the club’s jersey (a scapular is a Catholic ornament worn around the neck)

15.  Throstles – West Bromwich Albion (EPL)

A songbird prevalent on the grounds where the team’s stadium was built, AKA the song thrush

14.  The Big Grass Snake (Il Biscione) – Inter Milan (Serie A)

From the coat of arms for the city

13.  Potato Beetles (Kartoffelkäfer) – Aachen (Bundelsiga)

Because of their black and yellow striped jerseys

12.  Little Dutch Girl (Olandesina) – Pistoiesa (Serie A)

From their orange jerseys (& with orange traditionally associated with the Netherlands)

11.  Tricky Trees – Nottingham Forest (EPL)

From the team name (which, in turn, comes from Sherwood Forest)

10.  Biscuitmen – Reading (EPL)

Because of the town’s association with biscuit (i.e., cookie) makers Huntley & Palmers

9.  Toffees / Toffeemen – Everton (EPL)

From a candy shop near the stadium

8.  Cucumber Growers (Pepineros) – Leganes (La Liga)

From an agricultural specialty of the area

7.  Moody Diva (Launische Diva) – Eintracht Frankfurt (Bundesliga)

From the 1990s, when “the club would comfortably defeat top teams only to surprisingly lose to lesser clubs”

6.  Wombles – Wimbledon (EPL)

Pointy-nosed, furry creatures from a series of children’s books (ultimately, from a mispronunciation of Wimbledon by the author’s daughter)

5.  Flying Donkeys (Mussi Volanti) – Chievo Verona (Serie A)

From rivals who said the team would reach Serie A when “donkeys could fly” (comp. “when pigs can fly”)

4.  Meringues (Merengues) – Real Madrid (La Liga)

From their white uniforms

3.  Mattress Makers (Colchoneros) – Atletico Madrid (La Liga)

Team’s red and white jerseys are similar to traditional Spanish mattresses

NOTE:  Cadiz (La Liga) also has the same nickname

2.  Yellow Submarine (El Submarino Amarillo) – Villarreal (La Liga)

From the colors of the uniforms, as well as fans’ playing the Beatles’ song 

1.  Clockwork Cheese (El Queso Mecanico) – Albacete Balompie (La Liga)

From a famous local product (Manchego) & from the team’s precise, technical play (comp. the Clockwork Orange, a nickname for the Dutch national team)

MLB Funny Names - 2/2

Last time, I did the bottom 15. So, here are the top 15.

15.  SF – Hayden Birdsong, p

I mean, who’s named Hayden?

• Fun fact:  has been a River Cat, Dust Devil & Flying Squirrel
• Honorable mention:  Landon Roupp

14.  Houston – Framber Valdez, p

What the heck is a framber?

• Fun fact:  nicknamed "La Grasa" (Spanish for "grease" or "fat," used in Dominican culture for a stylish person) 

13.  Atlanta – Jurrickson Profar, infield

I don’t know what’s weirder, the first or the last name

• Fun fact:  Brothers Juremi & Jurdrick have also played professionally
• Honorable mention:  Rolddy Munoz, Spencer Strider, Hurston Waldrep

 

12.  SD – Yu Darvish, p

Def: adj., “of, or relating to, darvs”

• Fun fact:  Father is Iranian
• Honorable mention:  Bradgley Rodriguez, Freddy Fermin

11.  NY Mets – Huascar Brazoban, p

Weird last name, meet weird first name

• Fun fact:  spent 10 years in the minors before first call up
• Honorable mention:  Brett Baty, Sterling Marte

10.  Philadelphia – Orion Kerkering, p

Ditto

• Fun fact:  One quarter Japanese
• Honorable mention:  Weston Wilson

9.  Cleveland – Jhonkensy Noel, of

Here’s hoping everyone calls him Johnny

• Fun fact:  Nickname is “Big Christmas”
• Honorable mention:  Tanner Bibbe, Jacob Junis

8.  Cincinnati - Yosver Zulueta, p

Did you say Vuvuzela?

• Fun fact:  spell check wants me to change that first name to Oyster
• Honorable mention:  Spencer Steer, Gavin Lux, Christian Encarnacion-Strand

7. Miami – Janson Junk, p

Known for his secondary pitches?

• Fun fact:  in 5 years, has played for 4 teams
• Honorable mention:  Valente Bellozo

6.  Detroit – Spencer Torkelson, 1b

Son of Torkel???

• Fun fact:  Yup – given name means “Thor’s kettle” (?!?!)
• Honorable mention:  Tarik Skubal, Jace Jung, Sawyer Gipson-Long

5.  LA Angels – Logan O’Hoppe, c

Irishman?

• Fun fact:  nope, German
• Honorable mention:  Brock Burke

4.  Colorado – Warming Bernabel, 1b

Out warming up in the bullpen, no doubt

• Fun fact:  a portmanteau of his father's name, Warren, and his grandfather's, Ming
• Honorable mention:  Mickey Moniak, Victor Vodnik

3.  Chicago White Sox – Wikelman Gonzalez, p

Huh! I always thought it was Winkelman

• Fun fact:  Venezuelan

2.  Boston – Jhostynxon Garcia, of

Elbow on the ol’ keyboard?

• Fun fact:  Nickname is “Password”

1.  StL - Lars Nootbar, of

Funny, he doesn’t look Scandinavian

• Fun fact:  is half Japanese
• Honorable mention:  Tink Hence, Yohel Pozo