And, you know, it’s not just Ted. There are people out there who think Jeffrey Dahmer is hot as well … and Andrew Cunanan, and Robert Chambers (the Preppy Killer), and the Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik, and many more.
Of course, it probably all has something to do with just plain, simple, old-fashioned sociopathy. I mean, these guys are supposed to be charmers, right? Now, if they’re going to be a bit successful, it certainly wouldn’t hurt if they weren’t also good looking.
So, that’s part of the appeal. But, I mean, these guys have tortured and killed dozens of people. What’s could possibly being going on here?
Well, you know, serial killers are kind of edgy and transgressive. I mean, people love their forbidden fruit – as long as that fruit is safely out of reach, of course. I guess you could say, too, that, when it come to bad boys, these guys have to be the ultimate.
Now, I’m sure you’re familiar with the women who send fan mail and even love letters to these dudes (and sometimes even marry them). But did you know, there’s actually a medical term for that? It’s called hybristophilia, and is also known as Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome.
Alright, as an old true crime fan, I can play with it. So, here we go …
#12 Paul Bernardo *
This guy probably wouldn’t have it made onto this list if it weren’t for his hot wife, Karla Homolka:
And, yes, they were partners in crime. Though he was quite capable of raping and killing on his own, he would later be helped by the lovely Karla, who would lure and drug young girls so that Bernardo could have his way with them (including Homolka’s own sister, Tammy).
Known as the Ken and Barbie killers, the Canadian couple were responsible for 4 deaths. Bernardo’s still in prison, though Homolka got out in 2013.
Have they gotten their own glamorous Hollywood treatment? Why of course:
The movie (the 2nd one) is from Netflix, is called Karla, and features Laura Prepon (from That 70s Show) and Misha Collins.
#11 Kenneth Bianchi
You know, it’s kind of a 1970s, Italian guy, fireman/cop kind of look. He actually reminds me a lot of a hot baseball player from that era, Keith Hernandez:
Bianchi was part of another dynaminc duo – this time with a cousin, one Angelo Buono. The two would become known as the Hillside Stranglers. Operating out of the LA area, they would rape, torture, and murder 10 women in the late 70s. Their typical MO was to use fake badges and pretend they were cops. Their nickname came from where they dumped the bodies.
Bianchi is currently residing in Washington State Prison, in Walla Walla (he had committed 2 crimes in that state after fleeing California). Buono was doing the same down in California before succumbing to a heart attack in 2002.
The two have been immortalized twice, with pix coming out in 1989 and 2004. In those, Bianchi was played by, respectively, hotties Billy Zane and C. Thomas Howell.
#10 Dzhokhar Tsarnaev
I think this guy plays for The Strokes, right? You know, the tousled look, kinda foreign, sketchy beard, looks like he’s been up all night …? Heck, he could be Fab Morretti’s younger brother:
Of course, Dzhokhar’s real-life older brother was actually evil mastermind Tamerlan Tsarnaev. Together, the pair would plan and carry out the Boston Marathon bombing, killing 3 and injuring 280. Born in Khyrgyzstan, the two Muslims had been radicalized on the Internet. Actually, it was probably more Tamerlan, who seems to have been something of a Svengali figure, with lots of power over the more hapless Dzhokhar.
The bombing would get Dzhokhar on the proverbial “cover of the Rolling Stone” … who would then be roundly criticized for glamorizing the act.
Tameraln would die in a shootout after the bombing, but Dzhokhar would survive. He’s currently awaiting a death sentence.
Of course there was a movie. Dzhokhar would be played by former child star Alex Wolff, with his brother being played by super hottie Themo Melikidze:
#9 Jeffrey Dahmer *
So, this is the dude with the heads in his refrigerator? How could “hot” ever be used in the same sentence? That said, the Internet does give me plenty of hits like these when I type in “jeffrey dahmer hot”:
- 9 Hot Serial Killers Who We Would Want To Slice Us Open
- Oh my GOD, Jeffrey Dahmer's soooooo hot | Jeffrey dahmer | Pinterest ...
- Jeffrey Dahmer Is My Sex Bomb
- 10 of the Most Charming Serial Killers Ever
I don’t wanna go into the details (necrophilia, cannibalism …), but it was all rather gross. Overall, Dahmer was responsible for the rape, death, and dismemberment of 17 young men, over a period of 12 years, mostly in Milwaukee.
Though sentenced to life imprisonment, he would be beaten to death by another inmate after only 2 years in prison, at the age of 34.
And did Hollywood come calling? You betcha! In fact, I could find no fewer than 4 non-documentary Dahmer flix – The Secret Life: Jeffrey Dahmer (1993), Dahmer (2002), Raising Jeffrey Dahmer (2003), and My Friend Dahmer (2017). Here are some of the hotties who have taken on this particularly meaty role (in order, Carl Crew, Jeremy Renner, and Ross Lynch):
#8 Peter Sutcliffe *
And here’s one from across the pond. You may actually know Peter Sutcliffe better by his moniker of the “Yorkshire Ripper.” Like his namesake, Sutcliffe preyed on prostitutes and particularly enjoyed slicing them open. He was also a bit like the Beatles’ Maxwell Edison, typically first rendering his victims senseless with a hammer.
Overall, Sutcliffe committed 13 murders, and kept England on edge for most of the ‘70s. His case may be most famous, however, for the sheer ineptitude of the police, who interviewed Sutcliffe no less than 9 times before finally figuring out he might actually be the guy.
Imprisoned in 1981, he’s been there ever since, and is now 72 years old.
Sutcliffe was played by Craig Cheetham in a British TV mini-series. The resemblance is a little scary:
#7 Charles Manson *
Soulful puppy eyes! Who could resist?
Well, he certainly had a way with the ladies, didn’t he? In fact, he never killed anyone himself, but got his “girls” to do it for him. You know, Squeaky, Sadie, Gypsy …
I probably don’t need to say any more about this guy. I’ll bet, though, that you didn’t know that some poor actor has tried to portray him in no less than 3 movies. Though none of them were famous, a couple were somewhat hot:
Here’s our man. The twinkle in the eye, the fashionable scruff, the curls, the strong chin, that soulful look … It’s the complete sociopath, and everyone’s favorite serial killer – ladies and gentlemen, may I present Mr. Ted Bundy!
The story’s probably pretty familiar by now. The ex law student, the political ambitions, the friendship with true crime author Ann Rule, the multiple prison escapes, the sorority house rampage, the 30 murders in 7 states …
Was he hot? Well, as one journalist wrote, “Ted lured females the way a lifeless silk flower can dupe a honey bee.” And no less a source than The New York Times called him “Kennedyesque.”
Has he been shamelessly glamorized by Hollywood? Well, would 6 movies and being portrayed by Mark Harmon, Corin Nemec, and Zac Efron count?
#5 Charles Schmid *
And here we have the suave and deboniar host of a talk or news show at, say … oh, I don’t know, Unavision?
Charles Schmid is not as famous as some of the other killers here. Known as the “Pied Piper of Tucson,” he only racked up 3 kills, back in the ‘60s. The moniker came from his charming personality, especially around teenaged girls.
Schmid was, however, quite the cause celebre at the time. He was written up in LIFE and Playboy, and was the basis of a short story by Joyce Carol Oates. There are a number of movies “based on the story,” but none where Schmid is actually named.
Like Dahmer, Schmid would be killed in prison by some of his inmate friends.
#4 Paul John Knowles *
Too bad it wasn’t John Paul – or even better, Jean-Paul. I mean, can’t you see this guy sitting at a café on the Left Bank, maybe with Godard or Belmondo?
Turns out Paul John Knowles was just a low-life petty thief who went on a killing spree after escaping from prison on his latest charge. He would criss-cross the country through 1974, killing 20 to 30 pretty random people in a number of pretty random ways.
He was called the “Casanova Killer,” really just for his good looks. A British journalist who unknowingly slept with him termed him a “dreamboat” and a “cross between Robert Redford and Ryan O'Neal.”
Knowles would be captured at the end of a wild manhunt through the Florida woods by an irate farmer with a shotgun. He would then die at the hands of some Georgia police after a struggle in a car they were using to transport him.
I’m kind of shocked he’s never been the subject of a movie – made for TV or otherwise.
#3 Andrew Cunanan *
Something of a gay gigolo, Andrew Cunanan lived largely off the largesse of one wealthy older boyfriend after another. A pathological liar with delusions of grandeur, he would also become heavily involved in drugs – using and dealing.
While visiting a friend in Minnesota, Cunanan somehow snapped, beginning a new career as a spree killer. He murdered the friend, then 4 more – all in less than 3 months and all across the country. The last one would, of course, be the biggie – fashion designer Gianni Versace.
After Versace’s murder, Cunanan would somehow manage to avoid one of the biggest manhunts in history for over a week, never leaving the area and finding himself a hideout in some rich guy’s vacant houseboat. When police did finally approach him, he made sure the last victim would be himself.
With the handsome perp and famous victim, it’s not too surprising that we ended up with no less than 3 flicks for this one. Unfortunately, none of the actors who portrayed Cunanan were very well known or particularly hot.
#2 Richard Ramirez *
Man, would you just look at the those cheekbones. Richard Ramirez’s slightly androgenous appearance makes him look like the lead singer for some rock band from the ‘70s or ‘80s. In fact, just add some sunglasses, and the guy could be a Ramone:
Ramirez also has a nickname that’s pretty rock-and-roll as well – the “Night Stalker” (from his MO of noctural home invasions). He was active in California for about a year during the mid ‘80s and killed at least 14 people.
An avowed Satanist, Ramirez would begin his murder trial by shouting out, “Hail Satan!” Given 5 sentences of death, he would beat the hangman by dying of lymphoma, aggravated by hep C, at age 53.
Ramirez was very popular with the prison groupies. In fact, he would actually marry one of his admirers while in prison.
The Night Stalker would inspire 3 movies, all of which make great use of that killer nickname. Lou Diamond Phillips was the only big name in any of them, though this guy – one Bret Roberts – was definitely a looker:
#1 Tiago Henrique Gomes da Rocha
Another Latino hottie, Tiago Rocha was actually from Brazil. Of his 39 victims, he had some definite categories, as well as a different a MO for each one:
- Gay men – choking
- Homeless men – shooting
- Prostitutes – stabbing
- Pretty young women – shooting them in the chest from a motorbike
That last bit would earn him the nickname “The Motorcycle Killer.”
This was all fairly recent, dating back to only 2014. Maybe that – and his being from Brazil – is what’s behind the complete lack of Hollywood interest in his story.
He also, though, seems to lack the proper personality – seeing himself as a victim and also pleading for forgiveness. I am not making up the following quotes:
- “In a way I'm a victim here, too.”
- “I was rejected a lot in the past, so I directed part of my anger towards women.”
- “My mind went blank, but I would cry later.”
The former security guard had lived with his mum.
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