Who’s on First? – The Real Story

I just love the old Who’s on First routine. I’m a huge baseball fan, of course. But if even if you’re not, you still gotta admit, it is pretty darn funny.

Just the other day, I was wondering if there has ever been a real Who, or Hoo, or Hu, who has indeed been on first base. Or a What, or Watt, on second?

Well, there have been 20,000 guys who have played in the big leagues. So, I figure my chances might be pretty good. 

So, here’s what I came up with. I’m ranking them from most likely to least likely. Wish I could have put them all in the right positions. Believe me, this was hard enough as is. Anyway, enjoy! 

1B – Who – Chin-lung Hu

“Hu’s on first.”

• SS
• 2007-2011
• LA Dodgers
• 193 at bats, .176 avg., 17 runs
• Shortest surname in MLB history (along with Fu-Ti Ne)

And, I do believe, that is indeed first base

2B – What – Allie Watt
“Watt’s on second.”

• 2B!
• 1920
• Washington
• 1 game, 1 AB, 1 hit, 1 RBI!
• Brother Frank was also in the bigs

C – Today – Todd A[llen]

Costello: Gotta a catcher?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: The catcher's name?
Abbott: Todd A.

Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.

Abbott: Now you've got it.

Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.

• PH
• 1925
• Indianapolis (Negro)
• Once played for the French Lick Plutos

P – Tomorrow – Tom O’Hara

Costello: The pitcher's name?
Abbott: Tom O’Hara.
Costello: You don't want to tell me today?
Abbott: I'm telling you now.
Costello: Then go ahead.
Abbott: Tom O’Hara!

• OF
• 1906-1907
• St. Louis Cards
• 226 ABs, .252 avg., 11 runs
• Also the name of a runner, soccer player, priest, and character in The 13th Man

LF – Why – Hank Wyse

Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Wyse
Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.
Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.

• 1942-1951
• 3 teams
• 79-70, 3.52 ERA, 1258 IPs, 
• In 1945 All Star Game (22-10, 2.68 ERA that year)

3B – I Don’t Know – A[lexander] Donoghue

Abbott: Well, let's see, we have on the bags - Who's on first, What's on second, A Donoghue is on third...
Costello: That's what I want to find out.

• CF, SS
• 1891
• Philadelphia NL
• 22 at-bats, .318 BA
• A true Pennsylvanian – born in Altoona, played in Philly, died & buried in Pittsburgh

CF – Because – B[ill] Koski

Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: B. Koski!
Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield.

• P
• 1951
• Pittsburgh
• 27 IP, 0-1, 6.67 ERA, 2.00 WHIP
• Nicknamed “T-Bone”

SS – I Don’t Give a Darn
Forget it! 

RF – nobody 
Not part of the routine!