Funny Names, US Winter Olympics Edition

I’m not a big Olympics fan. The sports are just too silly & obscure, the politics & nationalism a little too toxic, and the human interest stories a tad overdone. 

That said, I’m always up for some funny names. Since there are so many athletes overall, though, and because the foreign names are like shooting fish in a barrel (that's a Summer Olympics sport, right?), I’m just going to concentrate on the good ol’ US of A here.

13.  Daniel Barefoot – skeleton

• Age:  35
• Hometown:  Johnstown, PA
• College:  Penn State
• FT job:  landscape architect
• Fun fact:  Decided on skeleton when he “did a Google search to find out which Olympic-style sport a novice could train for later in life with little or no previous experience” [www.teamusa.com]

12.  Britta Curl-Salemme – hockey 

• Age:  25
• Hometown:  Bismark, ND
• College:  Wisconsin
• FT job:  Forward, Minnesota Frost, Professional Women’s Hockey League
• Fun fact:  Kicker for high school’s football team

Hint: It was for a lot of conservative trolling on social media

11. Maddie Mastro – snowboarder

• Age:  25
• Hometown:  Wrightwood, CA
• Previous Olympics:  2022
• Fun fact:  “First woman to ever land a double crippler in the halfpipe” (whatever that is)

10.  Hailey Swirbul – cross-country skiing

• Age:  27
• Hometown:  El Jebel, CO
• College:  Alaska-Anchorage
• FT job:  civil engineer
• Previous Olympics:  2022
• Fun fact:  “She can wiggle her eyes!”  [usskiandsnowboard.org]

9.  Korey Dropkin – mixed doubles curling 

• Age:  30
• Hometown:  Southborough, MA
• College:  Minnesota-Duluth
• FT job:  realtor
• Medals:  2026, silver
• Fun fact:  Started curling at age 5

With partner Cory Thiesse (Korey’s the one with the beard)

8.  Mac Forehand – freestyle skiing

• Age:  24
• Hometown:  Norwalk, CT
• Previous Olympics:  2022
• Medals:  2026, silver, Big Air
• Fun fact:  “If Mac had a movie made about his life, he would want Will Ferrell to play him.” [usskiandsnowboard.org]

Oops, wrong guy

7.  Brianna Schnorrbusch – snowboard cross

• Age:  20
• Hometown:  Monroe, NJ
• Fun fact:  Last name means “thicket” (i.e., “snare bush”) in German

6.  Mystique Ro – skeleton 

• Age:  31
• Hometown:  Oceanside, CA
• College:  Queens Univ (Charlotte)
• FT job:  tour guide, Lake Placid Olympic Center
• Fun fact:  track & field athlete in college

5.  Carsten Vissering – bobsled 

• Age:  28
• Hometown:  Bethesda, MD
• College:  UCLA
• Fun fact:  Only started bobsled at age 25

4-time All American in swimming in college

4.  Winter Vinecki – aerial skiing

• Age:  27
• Hometown:  Gaylord, MI
• Fun fact:  Youngest person to run a marathon on all 7 continents

3.  Hunter Wonders – cross-country skiing

• Age:  27
• Hometown:  Anchorage, AK
• College:  Alaska Pacific
• Fun fact:  Nickname is “Wonderboy”

2.  Boone Niederhoffer – bobsled 

• Age:  32
• Hometown:  San Antonio, TX
• College:  Texas A&M
• FT job:  petroleum engineer
• Fun fact:  Played wide receiver in college

1.  River Radamus – downhill skiing

• Age:  28
• Hometown:  Edwards, CO
• Fun fact:  Dad Aldo was a coach with the US Ski Team