Saturday, June 13, 2026

2026 World Cup Funny Names – 1/2

Ah, the World Cup is finally here. I’m pretty excited.

Will England win it all (hey, it actually happened within my lifetime)? Will the US get out of the group stage? Will someone other than the usual suspects win the title? 

Now, the World Cup also represents a primo opportunity to find some funny names. Below, I’ve selected the best from each of the 48 teams. I’ve also organized them into like groups to make processing a little easier. 

For each player, I’m listing their position & current team, as well as a little tidbit about them. I’m also throwing in a pic, a weird, embarrassing, or unfortunate one, if I could find it. So, let’s check ‘em out …


AWESOME ALLITERATION

Mexico – Raul Rangel, G, Guadalajara

  • Not to be confused with the Mexican badminton player of the same name


Egypt – Ramy Rabia, D, Al Ain (UAE)

  • Full name is Ramy Hisham Abdel Aziz Mostafa Rabia


Portugal – Diogo Dalot, D, Manchester United

  • “Diogo” is the Portuguese equivalent of “Diego”


Spain – Pedro Porro, D, Tottenham

  • In Spanish, “porro” means “further”




WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Scotland – Che Adams, F, Torino

  • Born in England
  • Maternal grandparents were from Edinburgh
  • Is named after Che Guevara


S Korea – Jens Castrop, MF, Borussia-Monchengladbach

  • Born in Germany to a German father & South Korean mother


Switzerland – Breel Embolo, F, Rennes

  • Born in Cameroon, moved to France, then Switzerland as a child


USA – Folarin Balogun, S, Monaco

  • Born in Brooklyn to Nigerian parents; moved to UK at 1 month


Panama – Eric Davis, D, Plaza Amador (Panama)

  • Not to be confused with the English soccer player, American football player, American baseball player, NZ rugby player, and American clown


Sweden – Eric Smith, D, FC St Pauli

  • Father Anders also played professional soccer in Sweden


Argentina – Alexis Mac Allister, MF, Liverpool

Father Carlos, brothers Kevin & Francis, and uncle Patricio all professional played soccer




THAT"S NOT A NAME

Ghana – Prince Kwabena Adu, MF, Viktoria Plzen (Czechia)

  • Once played for Kryvbas Kryvyi Rih (Ukraine)


Japan – Shuto Machino, S, Borussia-Monchengladbach

  • “Machine” in Japanese is “kikai”


Jordan – Mohammad Abu Hashish, D, Al Karma (Iraq)

  • Born in Iraq


DRC – Charles Pickel, D, Espanyol

  • Born in Switzerland; of Congolese & Swiss descent


Canada – Promise David, S, Union SG (Belgium)

  • Full name is Promise Oluwatobi Emmanuel David Akinpelu


S Africa – Evidence Makgopa, F, Orlando Pirates (S Africa)

  • Has a brother named Promise


Haiti – Martin Experience, D, Nancy

  • Born in France, dual national



THAT'S NOT A FULL NAME

Qatar – Edmilson Junior, W, Al-Duhail (Qatar)

  • Full name is Edmilson Paulo da Silva, Jr.
  • Father Edmilson Paulo da Silva, Sr. played soccer in Belgium, where Jr. was born


Cape Verde – Diney, D, Al Bataeh (UAE)

  • Full name is Edilson Alberto Monteiro Sanches Borges


Paraguay – Kaku, MF, Al Ain (UAE)

  • Full name is Alejandro Sebastián Romero Gamarra


Brazil – Alisson, G, Liverpool

  • Full name is Alisson Becker
  • Has a brother named Muriel




A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY

Ivory Coast – Christ Inao Oulai, MF, Trabzonspor (Turkey)

  • Jesus Gallardo plays for Mexico


Iraq – Mohanad Ali, F, Dibba (UAE)

  • Nickname is Mimi




Wow! Forty-eight is a lotta countries. Let’s divide and conquer, and continue this again next week.


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