Ah, the World Cup is finally here. I’m pretty excited.
Will England win it all (hey, it actually happened within my lifetime)? Will the US get out of the group stage? Will someone other than the usual suspects win the title?
Now, the World Cup also represents a primo opportunity to find some funny names. Below, I’ve selected the best from each of the 48 teams. I’ve also organized them into like groups to make processing a little easier.
For each player, I’m listing their position & current team, as well as a little tidbit about them. I’m also throwing in a pic, a weird, embarrassing, or unfortunate one, if I could find it. So, let’s check ‘em out …
AWESOME ALLITERATION
Mexico – Raul Rangel, G, Guadalajara
- Not to be confused with the Mexican badminton player of the same name
Egypt – Ramy Rabia, D, Al Ain (UAE)
- Full name is Ramy Hisham Abdel Aziz Mostafa Rabia
Portugal – Diogo Dalot, D, Manchester United
- “Diogo” is the Portuguese equivalent of “Diego”
Spain – Pedro Porro, D, Tottenham
- In Spanish, “porro” means “further”
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Scotland – Che Adams, F, Torino
- Born in England
- Maternal grandparents were from Edinburgh
- Is named after Che Guevara
S Korea – Jens Castrop, MF, Borussia-Monchengladbach
- Born in Germany to a German father & South Korean mother
Switzerland – Breel Embolo, F, Rennes
- Born in Cameroon, moved to France, then Switzerland as a child
USA – Folarin Balogun, S, Monaco
- Born in Brooklyn to Nigerian parents; moved to UK at 1 month
Panama – Eric Davis, D, Plaza Amador (Panama)
- Not to be confused with the English soccer player, American football player, American baseball player, NZ rugby player, and American clown
Sweden – Eric Smith, D, FC St Pauli
- Father Anders also played professional soccer in Sweden
Argentina – Alexis Mac Allister, MF, Liverpool
Father Carlos, brothers Kevin & Francis, and uncle Patricio all professional played soccer
THAT"S NOT A NAME
Ghana – Prince Kwabena Adu, MF, Viktoria Plzen (Czechia)
- Once played for Kryvbas Kryvyi Rih (Ukraine)
Japan – Shuto Machino, S, Borussia-Monchengladbach
- “Machine” in Japanese is “kikai”
Jordan – Mohammad Abu Hashish, D, Al Karma (Iraq)
- Born in Iraq
DRC – Charles Pickel, D, Espanyol
- Born in Switzerland; of Congolese & Swiss descent
Canada – Promise David, S, Union SG (Belgium)
- Full name is Promise Oluwatobi Emmanuel David Akinpelu
S Africa – Evidence Makgopa, F, Orlando Pirates (S Africa)
- Has a brother named Promise
Haiti – Martin Experience, D, Nancy
- Born in France, dual national
THAT'S NOT A FULL NAME
Qatar – Edmilson Junior, W, Al-Duhail (Qatar)
- Full name is Edmilson Paulo da Silva, Jr.
- Father Edmilson Paulo da Silva, Sr. played soccer in Belgium, where Jr. was born
Cape Verde – Diney, D, Al Bataeh (UAE)
- Full name is Edilson Alberto Monteiro Sanches Borges
Paraguay – Kaku, MF, Al Ain (UAE)
- Full name is Alejandro Sebastián Romero Gamarra
Brazil – Alisson, G, Liverpool
- Full name is Alisson Becker
- Has a brother named Muriel
A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY
Ivory Coast – Christ Inao Oulai, MF, Trabzonspor (Turkey)
- Jesus Gallardo plays for Mexico
Iraq – Mohanad Ali, F, Dibba (UAE)
- Nickname is Mimi
Wow! Forty-eight is a lotta countries. Let’s divide and conquer, and continue this again next week.
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